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Michael Bloomberg Formally Launches His Phony Candidacy

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

This is the Democrats’ great new hope? Trump’s a shoe-in. – In the grand tradition of awful presidential campaign announcement videos – like the one of Fauxcahontas pretending to cook up some American Indian food in her kitchen while slugging down a beer – former Democrat Mayor Michael Bloomberg formally announced his entry into the race over the weekend with this wretched posting on Instagram:

Yeah, that’s really gonna shake up the race, huh? Bloomberg has all the energy of a hibernating bear and the charm of the average New York City street vendor. Check out that posture – what message is this 77 year-old man attempting to communicate to his audience by perching himself pelvis-forward in that tiny chair?

And you have to love the little message box that is superimposed atop his crotch, saying “Send me your questions for #AskMike.” The first question, obviously placed there by an order-obeying staffer, is “What’s your favorite pizza?” Yes, surely, that pressing question is no doubt on the collective hive mind of every potential Democrat voter who has surveyed the existing field of candidates and come away wondering “can these idiots really deliver the grade of pepperoni I truly want? And what about the anchovies and extra cheese?”

Think about that for a second: Remember that these Democrats never do or say anything in public that hasn’t been polled or focus group tested. You’re telling me that Bloomberg paid someone good money to come up with this?

Of course, here’s the dirty little secret in all of this: Bloomberg isn’t in this race to win the Democrat presidential nomination. He’s in this race so he can receive the cheaper political candidates’ rates as he invests a few hundred million dollars in TV and social media ads. Those ads won’t target Quid Pro Joe, Fauxcahontas, The Commie or Preacher Pete, like any serious candidate for the nomination would do. They will target President Donald Trump.

Bloomy isn’t really a candidate for the presidency, he’s part of the resistance. He knows he can’t win this nomination after watching fellow idiot billionaire Tom Steyer drop a hundred mil or so of his own money to finally get to the point where he is polling 1% in the national polls.

But he also knows the Democrat Party is broke, with the GOP out-raising it by a factor of almost 10 to 1. The party’s base is fractured, and its gigantic field of candidates ensures that the money invested by all the pro-Democrat super PACs will remain fractured as well for quite some time to come.

So, Mayor Big Gulp could pour his money into one or more of those Super PACs or into some dark money “issues advocacy” groups, and is very likely already doing that. He could also donate gobs of money to the Democrat National Committee, but that would be controlled by doofuses like DNC Chairman Tom Perez. By pretending to be a candidate himself, Bloomberg gets a lot more bang for the buck. More importantly, he is able to fully control the message.

But if his first video offering is any indication of his messaging prowess, he is, like Steyer, most likely going to be wasting his money.

Somewhere, President Trump is laughing. It’s hard to blame him.

That is all.

 

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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Swalwell Out; Steyer In; Democrats Swap One Hopeless Doofus For Another

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

[Editor’s Note: The Campaign Update will be silent from July 11 through July 23 because Dave needs some down time.]

The world mourns the loss of a leftist hero. – Americans all over…well…somewhere were saddened on Monday when Democrat presidential non-contender Eric Swalwell, who famously promised on Twitter to nuke recalcitrant citizens (see below) who refused to surrender their guns to his planned army of jack-booted thugs, announced he was ending his campaign. Swalwell had run a valiant, disciplined and focused campaign, one that saw him rise all the way up to next-to-last place in the race, reaching as high as .000001% in the polls before the first debates two weeks ago.

Sadly, this turned to to be the point of Peak Swalwell.

After what critics unfairly labeled as a “laughable,” “cartoonish,” and “is this guy really serious?” debate performance saw his poll standing fall to .00000001% in the polls taken afterwards, Swalwell reassessed his chances. Realizing that not even appearing on the same stage with the likes of Kirsten Gillibrand and John Hickenlooper had helped his standing with potential voters, Swalwell decided to throw in the towel (if only he could have been on-stage with Beto O’Rourke – then he’d have appeared almost normal). The decision point apparently came when he saw that his popularity had fallen even below that of the despicable and buffoonish Bill DeBlasio.

So back to congress he will go, where he can once again take up the gauntlet as CNN’s second-favorite liar about the Mueller Report, right behind his fellow California congressman, Adam Schiff.

“We have to be honest about our own candidacy’s viability,” Swalwell told reporters at a press conference Monday. “Today ends our presidential campaign, but it is the beginning of an opportunity in Congress with a new perspective shaped by the lives that have touched me and my campaign over the past few months.”

Neither of the two residents of Dubuque, Iowa whose lives apparently touched Swalwell were available for comment. Both were too busy cooking up a new batch of meth.

 

But never fear, for Tom Steyer is here! – Yes, friends, just when things look their darkest, a new self-serving light appears on the horizon. Self-styled “environmental” activist Tom Steyer – hey, did you know he amassed his fortune investing in coal? – plans to jump into the race today.

Oh, joy!

You may remember Steyer. He’s the guy who famously spent tens of millions of his own money in 2017-2018 on a series of TV ads promoting the impeachment of President Donald Trump. He is so personally repugnant on television that the ads actually caused the President to go up in the polls.

Oh, so he’s just like Eric Swalwell, but with a lot of money?  Yes, that guy.

Steyer is a one-trick pony, a pony whose one trick is exactly the same as Washington state Governor Jay Inslee, another sort-of-candidate who is polling at .000000001% in the presidential horse race. So Steyer apparently plans to swoop into the race, scoop up Swalwell’s .000000001% support and fight it out with Inslee over how to destroy the U.S. economy to fight the bogeyman “Climate Change.” The “winner” would presumably then have .00000002% support and be on a bullet to overtake DeBlasio for next-to-last place.

After that, he would obviously target Gillibrand and her .00000003% support, and be off to the races.

No telling how many millions Steyer is willing to part with in order to achieve his goals, but a fool and his money are soon parted, and Steyer has billions to part with. So, it’s probably a lot.

If they didn’t actually exist (which I’m assuming they actually do, though I have no real proof), the greatest fiction writers in world history could never come close to making these Democrats up.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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AOC is an Actress, and Other Bits of Democrat Chicanery

The Afternoon Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

Some mid-day short takes on the passing scene…

Everyone should watch this video. – Trust me, just watch it. It’ll be the best 23 minutes you invest this week.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez isn’t a politician, she’s an actress. A puppet whose strings are being pulled behind the scenes by a group that calls itself the Justice Democrats, and is headed by the depraved Cenk Uygur.

This is all stuff I was not aware of, and of course our fake news media will never dream of reporting on any of it, so most of the general public will remain blissfully unaware. But isn’t it informative, and doesn’t it help explain so much?

Once you realize and accept this reality about the human sock puppet who is AOC, everything that has taken place with her over the past year, everything she says and does, makes perfect sense.

Wait, what? Um, isn’t that, like, collusion or something? – A super PAC set up to fund the campaign of Jeb! Bush in 2016 just got hit by the Federal Elections Commission with a massive fine for accepting $1.3 million in illegal contributions from Chinese-owned corporation American Pacific International Capital.

Very predictably, this illegal activity on the part of the Bush Campaign did not rise to headline news in your fake news media, and no Democrat in congress has called for the appointment of a Special Counsel to investigate this apparent collusion with China. Funny how that all works.

I wonder how many dead elderly Americans Newsweek polled in order to reach this conclusion? – This is a real, actual headline on a story at the ongoing disastrous failure that is Newsweek:

ELDERLY AMERICANS ARE DYING WITHOUT GETTING TO READ MUELLER’S REPORT – AND THEY’RE NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT

I swear I do not make this stuff up. I mean, really, who could?

Who is this Brie Larsen, and why did her parents name her for a type of cheese? – Pat Sajak bemoans the way today’s social justice warriors have taken the fun out of literally everything:

Spoiled Billionaire Used To Getting His Way Lashes Out! – Fake environmentalist Tom Steyer – who made most of his fortune through coal investments – isn’t taking Nancy Pelosi’s new impeachment talking points well, and is too dumb to understand she’s lying.

Steyer, who has already invested tens of millions of dollars in goofy, pro-impeachment ad campaigns and plans to throw millions more down that particular rat hole, had this to say in response to Pelosi’s new fake position on the matter:

“Speaker Pelosi thinks ‘he’s just not worth it?’ Well, is defending our legal system ‘worth it?’ Is holding the President accountable for his crimes and cover-ups ‘worth it?’ Is doing what’s right ‘worth it?’ Or shall America just stop fighting for our principles and do what’s politically convenient?”

This guy is so. damn. naive. He actually thinks Democrats care about quaint notions like “principles.” Laughable.

When anti-gun activists suddenly realize the error of their ways… – The Daily Caller reports that a Connecticut anti-gun activist was kicked out of a hearing on the gun control issue when she was caught sending texts in which she threatened to … wait for it … SHOOT a Republican politician and other opponents of gun control.

I swear, you really cannot make this stuff up.

 

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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It’s Cold, and That’s Global Warming Too

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

Um, why not pick somebody who actually won? – The Democrat Party’s focus on losers continued on Tuesday, as San Fran Nan and Chuckie Schumer agreed to assign the task of reciting the Party’s fake response to next week’s State of the Union Address to…wait for it…failed Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams.

In accepting the role, Abrams becomes the first African American woman to do the honors on this thankless task. The only wonder here is, how come Nan and Chuck did not give the role to someone who actually won a race this year?

Why not, for example, assign the task to Texas Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee, who actually won her election in November, and see if she could stay on message for more than 25 words before she started talking about how we landed men on Mars, or how “today we have two Vietnams, side by side, North and South, exchanging and working”?  Or maybe she could talk about how “anything my staff does in my office is pursuant to congressional rules,” including that female staffer she allegedly fired for lodging a sexual harassment complaint.  That would be fun.

Oh, but let’s not forgot: Sheila has to park her butt in that aisle seat in the House chamber at 7:30 a.m. so she can get her face on television shaking the President’s hand as he enters to give his speech. That’s been her tradition for going on three decades now and we can’t interrupt it.

So, hey, give the talking points written by someone else to the lady who lost her election by 58,000 votes despite massive, blatant voter fraud in her favor. She’s the perfect metaphor for today’s Democrat Party, after all.

In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s cold, and that’s Global Warming, too. – Ok, well, they call it “Climate Change” now, but it’s the same nonsense packaged inside a different, more inclusive moniker.  It’s only “Global Warming” in the summer, when it’s hot. But now it’s cold as a well digger’s…well you know the rest … in a snow storm over 75% of the country, so that’s “Climate Change” because, you know, it has never been so hellishly cold before. Well, never except for all those millions of other times it was hellishly cold.

And there’s the best thing:  It’s all your fault, because science, and that means you have to become a socialist, because science too.  Get it?

What a racket. The greatest scam in the history of mankind. The best response to it is to turn up your heaters and use more gas. Might as well get comfortable, because you’re going to get blamed for it all anyway.

Or, you could fly your private jet 150,000 miles a year. – Well, you could if you’re Elon Musk, anyway. You all remember Elon Musk, right? You know, the pot-smoking CEO of Tesla, the electric car that’s gonna save the world from Global Warm…er, Climate Change?

Yeah, even the leftist cranks at the Washington Post are getting tired of his act. Yesterday the Post put up a story slamming Musk for not only flying 150,000 miles on his jet-fuel guzzling, CO2-emitting private jet in 2018, but for often having his pilot fly it between various airports in Los Angeles so it would be closer to wherever Musk happened to be working on any particular day. But it gets even better:

“In September, a few days after calling fossil fuels ‘the dumbest experiment in human history,’ his plane burned thousands of pounds of jet fuel flying 300 miles from L.A. to Oakland so Musk could view a competitive video-gaming event.”

Julie Vitkovskaya, a projects editor at the Post, put up this fascinating tweet chronicling Musk’s private jet usage in map form:

The Post of course concludes its story with a shot at corporate America, saying that “Musk is far from the only corporate leader to depend on the speed, flexibility and privacy of flying across the world on a private plane … But even compared to his peers, Musk’s travel stands out”.

But that misses the point, probably intentionally. The truth is that, when compared to his true “peer group” – that of fellow climate alarmists like Al Gore, Tom Steyer, Bill Gates and Leonardo DiCaprio – Musk’s private jet usage and carbon footprint do not stand out at all. These frauds are the biggest hypocrites on the planet and, if anything, Musk is likely a piker among that peer group when it comes to emitting carbon.

But remember, folks: Musk and his fellow Cardinals in the Global Church of Climate Change are not the problem, you are.

Repent, sinners, and give up your SUVs for a new Tesla! For verily Al Gore sayeth that it is easier for a private jet to pass through the eye of a needle than for a Suburban driver to enter the gates of Gaia.

*sigh*

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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That Time President Trump Refused To Play The Democrats Bad Faith Game

Today’s Campaign Update

(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

Oh, no, what will the nation do without him in the race? Wait, who’s he again? – Billionaire Tom Steyer – the fake environmental activist who accumulated his wealth via coal investments – announced yesterday that he won’t be running for president, and will instead focus his efforts on bribing and bullying Democrats to impeach President Donald Trump. Thus, he gives up one hopeless, very costly pursuit for another.

Upon reading the “news” of Steyer’s decision not to enter the Democrat nomination race, 98% of Americans will look at their spouse or pet cat and say, “Who the hell is Tom Steyer?” But hey, all but two or three potential Dem candidates will generate the same reaction.

They should put the Chuck and Nancy Show on CBS. They’d fit right in with Murphy Brown, and get better ratings because they’re actually funny. – Speaker San Fran Nan and Senate Minority Leader Chuckie Schumer are becoming a regular item in Washington DC and on social media these days. They’ve appeared together in public more often in the last two weeks than Jeff Bezos and his wife McKenzie have in the last two years.

The pair’s hysterically wooden performance in the wake of President Donald Trump’s border crisis speech Tuesday night spawned more fantastic memes on Twitter than even the demented ignoramus Alexandria Ocasio Cortez has generated since her accidental election last November.  Here’s a great example:

What a hoot they are. Much funnier than Abbot and Costello – can’t wait to see their version of “Who’s on First?” just because I want to see what position they put Kamala Harris in.  (Think about it.)

Anyway, the Chuck and Nancy Show aired another episode outside the White House on Wednesday afternoon following yet another meeting on the border issue to which the pair showed up with no intention to negotiate in good faith. When San Fran Nan rudely interrupted President Trump as he was making his opening statement and passing out candy (really: he passed out candy), saying that she would never agree to any funding for a border wall, Trump said “Then we have nothing to discuss.  Bye-bye!” (apparently a direct quote) and left the room.

That was when Chuck and Nancy scurried out to the leering press assembled outside the White House portico and recited their talking points for all the fake journalists to include in their fake stories on the meeting that had just failed. That’s how the game works.

Despite all the hair-on-fire fake reporting by our fake news media, this was the best thing the President could have done. The worst thing he could have done would have been to make more concessions to the Democrats like those that were made during the working session involving Vice President Mike Pence and Democrat and GOP congressional staff that took place over the weekend, without getting anything from the Dems in return other than the promise to go back to Chuck and Nancy and see what they had to say.

I’ve been in several negotiating sessions with Democrat congressional staff myself over the years, and here’s how that game works.  The Rs agree to make changes in a bill’s language on the condition they get X from the Ds, but the Democrat staffers claim they have to check with their members before they can include X in the bill. But first, they insist on revising the working draft to include the new language so their members can see it better.  The meeting then adjourns with the new concessions from the Rs included in the bill’s working draft.

At the next meeting, the D staffers inform the Rs that their members are not willing to meet their conditions but now insist that the new language remain included in the bill’s working draft because the Rs have already “agreed” with it. If the Rs object, the Ds run to their contacts at the Washington Post and the next morning the Rs are greeted with a WaPo story that accuses them of not negotiating in good faith. The R staffers then get called into their own members’ offices and chastised for screwing things up.

This is the bad-faith game the Ds have played and the Rs have fallen for over many decades now, and it’s exactly what happened related to the border bill over the weekend. President Trump obviously realized that, and is not in any mood to continue playing that particular game.

So he did what any smart negotiator would do when it is obvious the other side has no intention of negotiating in good faith and broke up the useless meeting so he could focus his time and energy on actual productive efforts. It’s just another example of him bringing his tactics from the business world into his role as President.

Good for him. He should begin every future meeting on this topic in exactly the same manner until Pelosi and Schumer either show up prepared to make concessions of their own or send representatives in their place who will. He’s going to get the bad press regardless of what happens because that’s what our fake news media does, so he might as well hold firm until he gets at least part of what he wants.

It sure would be nice if Pence and the other Republicans involved in this process would wake up and behave accordingly. But that’s probably too much to ask of a bunch of people who are afraid of their own shadows when it comes to our fake news media.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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