Advertisements
Open post

On This Thanksgiving, Be Thankful For All Of This WINNING

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

Given that today’s Thanksgiving, I figured it would be a good time to lecture you all on all the many things I am thankful for today. – Not that you needed it – everybody else is doing the same thing, after all, including the doofuses who host the morning news show on our local TV stations here in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex. They are weird people, but I’m thankful for them because they do provide periodic comic relief. Like when they try to predict the weather here in North Texas more than 4-5 hours in advance. It’s honestly hilarious.

Anyway, here are a bunch of things I am thankful for on this cold and rainy Thanksgiving morning:

Family – Yeah, I know, this is obligatory, right? But I truly do have a wonderful family, filled with brothers and sisters and kids and grandkids and the most wonderful, patient, kind and understanding wife who ever lived. I even have in-laws who I really love, one of whom kept me up too late drinking really good wine last night. So, I blame my hangover on family. And what good is family without hangovers?

The Trump Economy – Every major stock market index closed at a record high level on Wednesday, the 5th of the last 8 trading days this has happened.

Adam Schiff – Seriously, what would life be like without ol’ Bug-eyes? Talk about comic relief, this guy’s better than every sitcom on television, other than The Neighborhood, which I watch religiously. Cedric the Entertainer cracks me up, and that guy who plays Dave is epic. So I’m thankful for them, too.

But seriously, Adam Schiff is a better Bond villain than any of the real Bond villains. Everything this guy does repulses anyone with functioning synapses in their cranial cavities. He is the perfect poster child for today’s Democrat Party: Corrupt, inept, corrupt, stupid, corrupt, evil and corrupt. What more could you ask for?

Nancy Pelosi’s Dentures – Have you ever seen a more rebellious mouth appliance than those things? Really and truly, this woman is worth about $200 million, and she can’t afford a set of fake teeth that won’t come loose and try to jump out of her mouth every time she holds a press conference? I salute you, Nancy Pelosi’s Dentures! You are awesome!

America’s oil and gas industry – Think about it: Where would you be today without America’s oil and gas industry? Let me answer that question for you:  You’d be sitting in a cold, damp home with no way to cook your food, no lights, no television, no cell phone, no toothpaste, no makeup for the women-folk, no bottled water, no refrigerated food, maybe no food at all given that most plant fertilizers are manufactured using natural gas (did you know that?), and no way to get anywhere else unless you owned a horse and buggy.

In short, without America’s magnificent, glorious oil and natural gas industry you would be living a 19th century existence filled with deprivation and hardship. So quit bitching about the price for regular unleaded anytime it goes up 2 cents. Be thankful you have the blessing of being able to pay for this miracle that made modern society possible.

The Dallas Cowboys and Texas Longhorns – I’m thankful to my favorite pro and college football teams for demonstrating earlier than usual that they are pitiful mediocrities who are going nowhere yet again, because it frees up all sorts of time for me to focus on other, more important things. Those rose bushes really needed trimming. That’s far preferable to the Dodgers, my favorite baseball team, who took me all the way into the playoffs before folding up like a cheap suit in the NLDS this season. Talk about a time sink.

WINNING. So much WINNING. – Yes, even though all of my sports obsessions are miserable losers, I am so thankful this Thanksgiving for President Donald John Trump and all the incessant WINNING he brings to all of our lives, whether we appreciate it or not.

In addition to the roaring economy and resultant booming stock market he has delivered, this is a President with an actual sense of humor. The best part of that sense of humor is that he employs it each and every day in efforts to infuriate leftist nitwits like Adam Schiff and San Fran Nan and their corrupt toadies in our fake news media. Like yesterday, when he tweeted out that meme with his face superimposed over Rocky’s body, knowing that it would throw every leftist/media toady in the country into a snit fit, and sure enough, that’s exactly what happened.

I keep thinking that all these leftist nitwits will at some point figure out that President Trump is the greatest Twitter troller of all-time, but no. They’re just not capable. They can’t help themselves, and I’m thankful for that, too.

Why? Because it’s WINNING, and I love all this WINNING.

And turkey, and dressing, and sweet potatoes and broccoli and rice casserole and pecan pie. I’m thankful for those things, too. And I’m fixing to go eat all that stuff.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, folks. I’m thankful for all of you, too.

That is all.

 

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

Advertisements
Open post

It’s Almost Football Season, Thank God

Today’s Campaign Update 

(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

  • I’m a huge football fan – the Dallas Cowboys and Texas Longhorns are my fall passions – so this is the time of year I start to get really excited about the coming season.  The off-season for football is much longer than for other sports, making the pent up energy to be released on opening day almost unbearable by the time August rolls around.
  • Unfortunately, the Cowboys got some bad news from the NFL on Friday, as star running back Zeke Elliott was suspended for six games over an allegation that he punched a young woman last year.  This decision is bizarre, and at least on the record presented publicly, completely without merit.  Don’t get me wrong:  If Elliott did punch this woman, then he needs to be punished, and punished hard.  The problem is, the NFL has literally nothing but her word for it, while Elliott had several witnesses corroborating all or part of his own version of things.
  • I listened to the NFL’s lawyer explain his reasoning for the decision at the league’s press conference , and it basically came down to “well, Elliott’s lawyers didn’t give us a strong alternate narrative, so we just assumed the girl was telling the truth.”  So in other words, Elliott was assumed to be guilty because he couldn’t prove he was innocent. I have a real problem with that reasoning, and come to think of it, so does the Constitution of the United States.
  • Elliott’s representatives immediately announced they would appeal the suspension.  It’s a good bet it will be significantly reduced, though not eliminated entirely.  Roger Goodell must save face, after all.
  • Outrage among the country’s social justice warrior community continues over the fact that no NFL team has chosen to saddle itself with Colin Kaepernick and his traveling media circus as its backup quarterback.  I say ‘backup’ because Kaepernick has conclusively and consistently demonstrated he is not fit to be a starter in the league.  One writer at the Washington Post hilariously reasoned that “If Kaepernick were Tom Brady, Matt Ryan, Dak Prescott or any of the other star quarterbacks in the league, he’d have a job.”  Well, yeah, he would, because if he were Tom Brady, Matt Ryan or Dak Prescott, he’d be a good quarterback.  Did that really need to be pointed out?  Holy cow.
  • The NFL’s 32 team owners are being accused of being racists, cowards and all sorts of other idiotic things, but seriously, why would any franchise want to saddle itself with a mediocre football player who makes a spectacle of himself for purely personal reasons every Sunday on the sidelines?  Teams have enough actual football problems to worry about each week without voluntarily taking on the media circus that invariably rushes to Kaepernick wherever he goes.
  • And guess what else?  Once Kaepernick gives up on sucking more money from an NFL franchise and tries to latch on in Canadian football, no team up there is going to hire him, either.  What this all comes down to is not ‘racism’ or ‘cowardice’ or ‘collusion’, it comes down to the fact that the guy has chosen to saddle himself with all this baggage, and he’s not a good enough football player for any team to justify taking that on.
  • But enough about the sideshows – the Cowboys kick off this evening at 8:00.  Yeah, it’s just a pre-season game, but it’s football, dammit, and that’s enough for me.

Just another day in shut up and play ball America.

That is all.

Open post

CalExit is Dead in Name Only

Today’s Campaign Update

(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

  • The whole “CalExit” secession movement might be dead for the time being, but California’s radical leftist political class remains intent on separating their state from the rest of the U.S. in every way imaginable.  Despite being so near insolvency that Governor Jerry Brown has had to beg the federal government for massive monetary assistance no fewer than four times during the first half of 2017, the state’s Attorney General, the execrable Xavier Becerra, announced on Friday that he was adding four more states to California’s own travel ban.  This travel ban prevents state employees from traveling to other states in the union which have implemented policies with which California’s lunatic public officials don’t agree.  The ban list now applies to 8 states, including Texas, which sets up an interesting test case when football season begins in September.  San Jose State is currently scheduled to travel to Austin that month to get its collective ass whipped by the Texas Longhorns.  The problem here is that the Spartans’ coaching staff are all state employees.  It will be interesting to see how the team fares, playing a game against a superior opponent with no coaches on the sideline.
  • In other lamebrain California policymaker news, the Democrat plan to implement a Canadian-style single-payer healthcare system was finally pulled by the Assembly Speaker on Friday, ending a farce everyone knew was doomed to fail.  Seems it’s kind of hard for a state that already sports a massive annual budget deficit to come up with the $400 billion it would take to fund such a system on an annual basis.  Yes, that’s “Billion” – it’s not a typo.
  • Finally, Democrats in Los Angeles are considering a proposal to re-name Rodeo Drive “Barack Obama Boulevard”.  You know Rodeo Drive, right – that famous street where preening leftwing hucksters sell gaudy, over-hyped products for insanely high prices?  Hey, sounds just like ObamaCare!  How fitting is that?
  • The University of Texas and the Texas Tribune released a new poll pretending to show Donald Trump is highly unpopular in the Lone Star State.  The poll doesn’t make its sampling method public, but it does break down its findings between Republicans, Democrats and Independents.  Doing a little extrapolating seems to show that the pollsters surveyed more Democrats than they did Republicans.  This would have been an appropriate sample breakdown in 1990, the last time Democrats dominated an election in Texas.  The last time the voters of Texas elected a single Democrat in a statewide election was 1994.  Just another #fakepoll.  Sad to see it coming from UT.
  • Meanwhile, in our nation’s capital, the Democrats’ “Russia Collusion” fantasy play has become so toxic to voters that many Democrat members of congress are banding together to try to force San Fran Nan, Cryin’ Chuckie Schumer and the rest of the Democrat congressional leadership to stop even talking about it.  These Democrats actually want and expect their leaders to talk about real issues instead.  Hilarious.  That’s like expecting your dog to quit eating its own vomit.  Not gonna happen.

Just another day in lunatic Democrat America.

That is all.

Scroll to top
%d bloggers like this: