Advertisements
Open post

Swalwell Out; Steyer In; Democrats Swap One Hopeless Doofus For Another

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

[Editor’s Note: The Campaign Update will be silent from July 11 through July 23 because Dave needs some down time.]

The world mourns the loss of a leftist hero. – Americans all over…well…somewhere were saddened on Monday when Democrat presidential non-contender Eric Swalwell, who famously promised on Twitter to nuke recalcitrant citizens (see below) who refused to surrender their guns to his planned army of jack-booted thugs, announced he was ending his campaign. Swalwell had run a valiant, disciplined and focused campaign, one that saw him rise all the way up to next-to-last place in the race, reaching as high as .000001% in the polls before the first debates two weeks ago.

Sadly, this turned to to be the point of Peak Swalwell.

After what critics unfairly labeled as a “laughable,” “cartoonish,” and “is this guy really serious?” debate performance saw his poll standing fall to .00000001% in the polls taken afterwards, Swalwell reassessed his chances. Realizing that not even appearing on the same stage with the likes of Kirsten Gillibrand and John Hickenlooper had helped his standing with potential voters, Swalwell decided to throw in the towel (if only he could have been on-stage with Beto O’Rourke – then he’d have appeared almost normal). The decision point apparently came when he saw that his popularity had fallen even below that of the despicable and buffoonish Bill DeBlasio.

So back to congress he will go, where he can once again take up the gauntlet as CNN’s second-favorite liar about the Mueller Report, right behind his fellow California congressman, Adam Schiff.

“We have to be honest about our own candidacy’s viability,” Swalwell told reporters at a press conference Monday. “Today ends our presidential campaign, but it is the beginning of an opportunity in Congress with a new perspective shaped by the lives that have touched me and my campaign over the past few months.”

Neither of the two residents of Dubuque, Iowa whose lives apparently touched Swalwell were available for comment. Both were too busy cooking up a new batch of meth.

 

But never fear, for Tom Steyer is here! – Yes, friends, just when things look their darkest, a new self-serving light appears on the horizon. Self-styled “environmental” activist Tom Steyer – hey, did you know he amassed his fortune investing in coal? – plans to jump into the race today.

Oh, joy!

You may remember Steyer. He’s the guy who famously spent tens of millions of his own money in 2017-2018 on a series of TV ads promoting the impeachment of President Donald Trump. He is so personally repugnant on television that the ads actually caused the President to go up in the polls.

Oh, so he’s just like Eric Swalwell, but with a lot of money?  Yes, that guy.

Steyer is a one-trick pony, a pony whose one trick is exactly the same as Washington state Governor Jay Inslee, another sort-of-candidate who is polling at .000000001% in the presidential horse race. So Steyer apparently plans to swoop into the race, scoop up Swalwell’s .000000001% support and fight it out with Inslee over how to destroy the U.S. economy to fight the bogeyman “Climate Change.” The “winner” would presumably then have .00000002% support and be on a bullet to overtake DeBlasio for next-to-last place.

After that, he would obviously target Gillibrand and her .00000003% support, and be off to the races.

No telling how many millions Steyer is willing to part with in order to achieve his goals, but a fool and his money are soon parted, and Steyer has billions to part with. So, it’s probably a lot.

If they didn’t actually exist (which I’m assuming they actually do, though I have no real proof), the greatest fiction writers in world history could never come close to making these Democrats up.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

Advertisements
Open post

Eric Swalwell Seeks to Put the “POS” in POTUS

The Afternoon Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

Some mid-day short takes on the passing scene…

If Eric Swalwell gets elected to the presidency in 2020, he will be living proof that you can’t spell POTUS without the “POS.” – First, he threatened to nuke gun owners on his Twitter feed. Next, he proposed a plan to use Australia and New Zealand as his role model countries for his plans to confiscate your guns.

Now, the farcical college frat party planner from California tells the execrable CNN host Jake Tapper that he would send gun owners to prison should they refuse to comply with his Stalinist gun grab. If your fondest wish is to bring a violent civil war to this country, vote Swalwell in 2020! He’s your man.

By the way, everyone is aware that Swalwell is not in this race because he thinks he has the slightest chance of winning it, right? He is obviously a token, put up to it by Party leaders as a stalking horse to try to gin the public up on the gun control issue. He’s going to be the guy out there promoting all of these radical “solutions” to gun violence so that the other, more viable candidates don’t have to do it themselves.

This way, the Democrat Party and its media co-conspirators keep the gun grabbing issue constantly in the news cycle throughout the nominating process, helping to normalize it in the public consciousness while at the same time allowing the actual leaders in the race to avoid it almost entirely. The hope is to create enough media attention on the subject to allow the eventual Democrat nominee to latch onto the issue on the pretense that Swalwell’s advocacy created some sort of popular groundswell.

If you think the Democrats would never stoop to such an underhanded, dishonest strategy, well, what planet have you been living on for the last 25 years?

Guess who wrote this stuff. – Here are some outtakes from a wonderful opinion piece out there on the interwebnets today. See if you can guess the identity profile of the person who wrote them:

We are so well off here in the United States that our poverty line begins 31 times above the global average. Thirty. One. Times. Virtually no one in the United States is considered poor by global standards. Yet, in a time where we can order a product off Amazon with one click and have it at our doorstep the next day, we are unappreciative, unsatisfied, and ungrateful…

Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez recently said to Newsweek talking about the millennial generation, “An entire generation, which is now becoming one of the largest electorates in America, came of age and never saw American prosperity.”…

Never saw American prosperity. Let that sink in. When I first read that statement, I thought to myself, that was quite literally the most entitled and factually illiterate thing I’ve ever heard … Now, I’m not attributing Miss Ocasio-Cortez’s words to outright dishonesty. I do think she whole-heartedly believes the words she said to be true…

Let me lay down some universal truths really quick. The United States of America has lifted more people out of abject poverty, spread more freedom and democracy, and has created more innovation in technology and medicine than any other nation in human history. Not only that but our citizenry continually breaks world records with charitable donations, the rags to riches story is not only possible in America but not uncommon, we have the strongest purchasing power on earth, and we encompass 25% of the world’s GDP. The list goes on. However, these universal truths don’t matter.

So, what identity profile would you guess most likely fits this writer? My bet is that most readers would guess those words come from an older, white male baby-boomer. Right?

Wrong. those passages and many more wonderfully thoughtful, appreciative and incisive words were written by a young, Millennial-aged woman who wrote them while sitting in a busy “hipster” coffee shop in Nokomis, Florida. Her name is Alyssa Ahlgren, and you all should follow this link to read her entire piece. It’s the best and most encouraging thing you will read today.  Promise.

I swear this is not satire.:

You seriously just cannot make this stuff up.

In case you missed it, we have one more data point that indicates we finally, at long last, have a real Attorney General atop the nation’s Department of Justice now:  A ruling by Attorney General William Barr on Tuesday means certain migrants seeking asylum will not be released on bond but instead will stay in detention.

The NBC report linked above says that the ACLU is already working up a lawsuit to appeal the ruling – they’ll no doubt file it in a district court within the jurisdiction of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals – but no matter: This ruling is well within Barr’s authority under the law, and any adverse ruling coming out of the 9th Circuit will be reversed by the Supreme Court.

This ruling will have a significant dampening effect on the flood of illegal immigrants coming up through Mexico from Central America to make false claims of asylum, because it closes one of the biggest loopholes in the asylum process. Absent the incentive of knowing they will be released into U.S. society after a brief stay in a border detention facility, those seeking to defraud the U.S. asylum system will be far less willing to make the dangerous 1,000 mile trek to the U.S. border.

This what thinking Americans who wish to preserve our country call winning.

Thanks, Mr. Barr.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

Scroll to top
%d bloggers like this: