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Swalwell Out; Steyer In; Democrats Swap One Hopeless Doofus For Another

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

[Editor’s Note: The Campaign Update will be silent from July 11 through July 23 because Dave needs some down time.]

The world mourns the loss of a leftist hero. – Americans all over…well…somewhere were saddened on Monday when Democrat presidential non-contender Eric Swalwell, who famously promised on Twitter to nuke recalcitrant citizens (see below) who refused to surrender their guns to his planned army of jack-booted thugs, announced he was ending his campaign. Swalwell had run a valiant, disciplined and focused campaign, one that saw him rise all the way up to next-to-last place in the race, reaching as high as .000001% in the polls before the first debates two weeks ago.

Sadly, this turned to to be the point of Peak Swalwell.

After what critics unfairly labeled as a “laughable,” “cartoonish,” and “is this guy really serious?” debate performance saw his poll standing fall to .00000001% in the polls taken afterwards, Swalwell reassessed his chances. Realizing that not even appearing on the same stage with the likes of Kirsten Gillibrand and John Hickenlooper had helped his standing with potential voters, Swalwell decided to throw in the towel (if only he could have been on-stage with Beto O’Rourke – then he’d have appeared almost normal). The decision point apparently came when he saw that his popularity had fallen even below that of the despicable and buffoonish Bill DeBlasio.

So back to congress he will go, where he can once again take up the gauntlet as CNN’s second-favorite liar about the Mueller Report, right behind his fellow California congressman, Adam Schiff.

“We have to be honest about our own candidacy’s viability,” Swalwell told reporters at a press conference Monday. “Today ends our presidential campaign, but it is the beginning of an opportunity in Congress with a new perspective shaped by the lives that have touched me and my campaign over the past few months.”

Neither of the two residents of Dubuque, Iowa whose lives apparently touched Swalwell were available for comment. Both were too busy cooking up a new batch of meth.

 

But never fear, for Tom Steyer is here! – Yes, friends, just when things look their darkest, a new self-serving light appears on the horizon. Self-styled “environmental” activist Tom Steyer – hey, did you know he amassed his fortune investing in coal? – plans to jump into the race today.

Oh, joy!

You may remember Steyer. He’s the guy who famously spent tens of millions of his own money in 2017-2018 on a series of TV ads promoting the impeachment of President Donald Trump. He is so personally repugnant on television that the ads actually caused the President to go up in the polls.

Oh, so he’s just like Eric Swalwell, but with a lot of money?  Yes, that guy.

Steyer is a one-trick pony, a pony whose one trick is exactly the same as Washington state Governor Jay Inslee, another sort-of-candidate who is polling at .000000001% in the presidential horse race. So Steyer apparently plans to swoop into the race, scoop up Swalwell’s .000000001% support and fight it out with Inslee over how to destroy the U.S. economy to fight the bogeyman “Climate Change.” The “winner” would presumably then have .00000002% support and be on a bullet to overtake DeBlasio for next-to-last place.

After that, he would obviously target Gillibrand and her .00000003% support, and be off to the races.

No telling how many millions Steyer is willing to part with in order to achieve his goals, but a fool and his money are soon parted, and Steyer has billions to part with. So, it’s probably a lot.

If they didn’t actually exist (which I’m assuming they actually do, though I have no real proof), the greatest fiction writers in world history could never come close to making these Democrats up.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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Last Night, Faucahontas Fest Turned into Tulsi Time

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

I did not watch last night’s Democrat debate, aka, Fauxcahontas Fest. Life is just too damn short to put myself through that nonsense. Plus, my blood pressure’s been a little elevated lately, and there’s no use monkeying around with that, right? Right.

But we can still draw plenty of conclusions from the festivities just from perusing the news coverage of the event this morning. Let’s go through some of them now:

Beto O’Rourke made an ass of himself, and we have photographic proof. – Irish Bob broke out in Spanish in a non-answer to a question posed to him early in the debate, and the look on Cory Booker’s face while he was doing it is priceless:

Fauxcahontas is standing there trying to figure out how to say all of that in Cherokee. Klobuchar’s looking for a notebook to throw at him. But I digress.

The best part was when the lights went out. Some enterprising NBC technician apparently decided that the paltry audience for this debate needed a break from all the larceny and nitwittery taking place, and doused the lights just as Chuck Todd and the guy sitting next to him… wait, that was a woman? Rachel Maddow? So hard to tell … were about to take their turn asking questions. President Donald Trump did the nation a service and sent out a tweet with a clip of that segment this morning:

Everybody lied about everything. Well, what did you expect? These are all Democrats. Of course they all lied about everything. If Democrats started telling the truth they’d never win another election.

Lieawatha did not get the most camera time. According to the New York Times (cough) that title when to the always verbose and dramatic Cory Booker. This isn’t all that surprising, really. Booker can filibuster with the best of them. Irish Bob got the second most time, but nobody understood anything he was saying, and all the arm-waving meant nobody was listening anyway.

Little Big Mouth Always Running, meanwhile, came in third place in the minutes race, 90 seconds behind Booker. Down at the bottom of the list were two outright Marxists, Bill Deblasio and Jay Inslee, both of whom need to pack things up, go back home and focus on ruining New York City and the state of Washington, which is their core competency.

Julian Castro, an actual Hispanic, apparently felt he needed to his punch fellow Texan and fake Hispanic in the gut last night in order to stand out. He repeatedly interrupted Irish Bob, and at one point also broke out into Spanish just to show the audience what a real Mexican American sounds like. Not sure it got him anywhere, but hey, when you’re polling at less than 1% you start to take desperate measures.

They all had favorite boogeymen. Because of course they did – they’re Democrats. Boogeymen are their stock in trade. Most notable boogeymen of the evening were: Climate Change, Mitch McConnell, and of course, Donald Trump. *sigh*

Tulsi Gabbard had a good night, but it probably won’t matter much. Here’s what I wrote about Gabbard and this debate on June 15, after the lineups for the two nights were announced:

You know who really got screwed by that draw? Tulsi Gabbard, who needs people to be watching in order to notice that she’s the only person on that stage who will be saying what she actually thinks, rather than reciting talking points written for her by other people, as all the others will be doing. Trust me, that’s not an accident, either, given that the Obama people who run the DNC detest Rep. Gabbard.

Well, Gabbard did have a good night, as evidenced by this chart showing which candidate was the most-Googled during the debate in each state:

Gabbard also overwhelmingly won the Drudge Report insta-poll following the debate, coming in at almost 40%:

Surprisingly, nearly 40 per cent of those who took the survey chose the 38-year-old congresswoman from Hawaii as the runaway winner

 

Unfortunately for the congresswoman from Hawaii, initial estimates are that just 9 million viewers were tuned into last night’s festivities (See? Life is just too short for most of you, too). That compares to the more than 30 million who regularly tuned in to watch the early Republican debates featuring Donald Trump in 2015.

So, Tulsi is likely to get a little bump in the polls out of this debate, but it will be difficult for her money-starved campaign to capitalize on it. Still, she remains the only actually interesting person in the entire field, simply because, like Donald Trump in 2015, she stands out as the only authentic person on the stage. If nothing else, she certainly elevated her prospects for being selected as a vice-presidential running mate.

Now, let’s talk a little bit about Fauxcahontas, because she is doing something interesting that I only see a few picking up on this morning. She is actually picking spots to channel the policies of … wait for it…Donald J. Trump.

No, seriously, think about it: She’s been running around the country lately talking about the need to break up the big social media giants, focusing especially on Facebook and Google. Who else has been talking in those terms? Your President.

Last night, she talked at length about the need to bring jobs back to America. President Trump has spent the last two-and-a-half years not just talking about that very thing, but making it happen. Bigly.

Whether you like the fake Indian or not – and honestly, how could any sentient being actually like her – you do have to recognize the clever nature of this approach. Expect her to start triangulating to adopt more successful Trump policies into her repertoire as the campaign goes on.

Optics matter. Irish Bob deciding to pander to Hispanics by breaking into Spanish at random was really poor optics, as are his constant head-bobbing and arm-waving. He is well and truly done after this debate, and should just run back home to Texas and challenge John Cornyn for the senate.

Though she had a good night overall, Warren really missed the boat with her spot on center stage by choosing to wear a dull purple jacket. It’s shallow, and maybe sexist, but one of the reasons why Gabbard stood out so clearly on that stage last night was because she wore bright red. The human eye is attracted to bright colors. If you want to call me sexist for saying that, then you’re a moron and I don’t have time for you.

So, judging from the media coverage of the debate this morning, here are the winners and losers:

Winners:

Donald Trump

Tulsi Gabbard

Fauxcahontas

Mitch McConnell (who got more air time last night than half of the contestants)

Cory Booker

Losers:

Irish Bob

Bill DeBlasio

Jay Inslee

Amy Klobuchar

Meh:

Everyone else.

I won’t be watching tonight’s second debate, either, but I will certainly provide another un-watched summary of events tomorrow morning.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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The Week in Review: A Rat, A Duke, A Dress, A Bug-Eyed Schiff and AOC

The Campaign Update Week in Review
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

The Week in Review, courtesy of the @GDBlackmon Twitter Feed…

The week kicked off with a controversy about a 48 year-old interview in Playboy Magazine with John Wayne. A friend had the best take on that one:

Things only went downhill from there. Here SkyNews, the very liberal and very British affiliate of Fox News, asks possibly the least relevant question of the century thus far:

On the Sunday morning talk shows, California Democrat Bug-eyed Adam Schiff was doing what he always does…:

…and then CNN jumped into the competition with SkyNews to see which could post the most absurd story of the day, because of course they did.:

Charlie Sykes thinks we need Mitt Romney. I properly set him straight on when it was that we really did need him. It was a long, long time ago, and he failed us.:

Speaking of The Duke, let us bask in his greatness. Oh, and look who smiled and hugged him when she presented his award.:

Oh, yeah, the Oscars were Sunday night. Here’s how the ummmm…er….welllll….’men’ dressed for the occasion this year.:

The news-fakers at USA Today did their best to describe Mr. Porter’s attire a something it wasn’t, and I wasn’t in the mood for it.:

Ok, let’s just move on, shall we?

It was an exasperating week during which even the smart people were doing dumb stuff.  The normally astute Byron York asks a very dumb question.:

No further explanation required here.:

Like AOC, Harry Reid needs a self-awareness coach.:

As President Trump prepared to fly out to Vietnam to meet with the Crazy Little Fat Guy, the memes were flying. Here’s one of the very best.:

Speaking of lying California Democrats, I give you Kamala Harris.:

Offered without further comment, because none is needed.:

You really can’t make this stuff up, folks…:

Sometimes the future looks incredible, but then you think things through…:

Steve Goddard succinctly and hilariously sums up the #ClimateScam, something he does about 26 times every week.:

A blast from the past that never gets old.:

Hey, wonder which way Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s staff voted on this one?

Mere pocket change to today’s Democrat Party.:

The depravity of the Democrat Party has never been on more blatant display than it was this week.:

James Woods doesn’t like shaking hands, so I offered a solution.:

Here I thank AOC for her incredibly generous stupidity and shamelessly promote my website, all in 280 characters.  I can be efficient when I want to be.:

My Twitter feed also has its very own handy FACT CHECK service. No need to thank me.:

Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up, and who would really want to?:

Lara Logan continued her campaign to tell the truth about our fake news media. Our fake news media was not amused.:

Speaking of fake news, the news-fakers at Slate did their dead level best to avoid the point of the new HBO film revealing the true nature of the monster Michael Jackson, so I tried to set them straight. It probably didn’t work, but it made me feel better.:

Oh yeah, and the Rat was testifying on Capitol Hill most of the week. So tiresome.:

Shameless self-promotion, in case you missed it.:

The horrific outcomes of Democrat Party policy choices, part 23,252.:

Back on February, 7,  I wrote that Irish Bob O’Rourke had better Fish or Cut Bait on his decision whether or not to run for the presidency, speculating that he was running the risk of missing his moment.  That speculation looked pretty prescient this week when he made his announcement and almost nobody noticed.:

I couldn’t have said it any better…:

The Olympics have been trending towards PC fakery for many years now, but this week, they went all-in. No need to waste time watching anymore.:

This candidate for congress doesn’t know the difference between a fully-automatic weapon and a semi-automatic weapon. Needless to say, she’s a Democrat.:

If you don’t follow  Nick Searcy on Twitter, you are missing all the fun.:

Seriously, are there really people out there who are so damn dumb that they thought these two were doing anything other than promoting a film?  Really?:

If you missed this, you need to watch it, and I’m not kidding.:

Here I sum up Joe Biden without even having to talk about all his creepy handsy-ness with women and children.:

Some other guy jumped into the Democrat presidential race.:

Hey, you can’t blame a guy for hoping, can you?:

Good Lindsey Graham continues its takeover of Bad Lindsey Graham, a trend that’s been ongoing since John McCain left this life last August.:

Just in case anyone has forgotten…:

Glad he was finally arrested, but why did it take so long? Oh, yeah, because he assaulted a conservative at Berkeley. Stupid question.:

President Donald Trump (I never tire of typing those three glorious words) set the house on fire with a two-hour stemwinder at CPAC.:

Finally, Saturday was Texas Independence Day. God Bless Texas, y’all!:

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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