Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
Alexandra-Beto 2024? – It could happen, because this is just how ridiculous your Democrat Party has become.
Congresswoman-elect Alexandria Ocasio Cortez spent her Friday evening doing a livestream Q&A with her fans on her Instagram account while she whipped up a box of Kraft Mac ‘n Cheese for supper – which, not coincidentally, is also the favorite dinner for my 5 and 8 year-old granddaughters. Hashtag, irony. I swear I don’t make this stuff up.
Anyways, one of her fan girl callers was all, like, ‘so, when ya gonna run for, like, president and stuff?’ to which Cortez licked a little of that fake cheese powder off her finger and said something like, ‘I know, right?’. The raging nitwit from Queens then went onto compare herself to Shirley Chisholm, who Ms. Cortez described as “the first black woman to ever run for president as a nominee of any major political party,” which, of course, is something Ms. Chisholm did not in fact do, though she did make very brief attempt to seek her party’s nomination for the presidency in 1972.
But, as always not letting the facts of history get in the way of a good story, Cortez stirred the boiling macaroni and continued:
“She was a congresswoman out of Brooklyn. She was also the first black woman in Congress. And people asked her when she ran for president in the 1970s…60s,” she continued while forgetting the dates and moving from counter to counter.
The socialist went on to say that Chisholm told people that she ran for president because “someone had to be the first,” saying that she knew she was “blazing a trail for.. um.. for.. black candidates.. for.. women.”
At age 29, it is no doubt a tragedy in the minds of many Democrat voters that Ms. Cortez will just be a little too young to seek the Democrat nomination in 2020, given that the Constitution itself sets a minimum age of 35 for anyone to serve as president. But, hey, 2024 is just sitting out there awaiting a new young mental midget to become the Democrat standard bearer, and really, is there anyone out there who better represents the current mindless state of that Party than Ms. Cortez?
And hey, Beto O’Rourke will probably have $3 billion or so in the bank from all of his New York and Hollywood benefactors by then, so he’d make a perfect running mate. Plus, he probably likes mac ‘n cheese, too. Problem solved for our next woman trailblazer!
But first she needs an apartment. – Of course, Ms. Cortez must first find some place to live in Washington, DC before she can really turn her eye towards a run for the presidency, and this is presenting a bit of a challenge for a person with the apparent mental acuity of the average myna bird.
Late last week, she told the New York Times the following:
Her transition period will be “very unusual, because I can’t really take a salary,” she said in an interview with The New York Times. “I have three months without a salary before I’m a member of Congress. So, how do I get an apartment? Those little things are very real.”
Mind you, this is a person who has somehow been able to afford to wear dresses worth multi-thousands of dollars and a parade of Christian Louboutin shoes throughout her congressional campaign. Given that it is illegal to pay for such niceties with campaign funds, a curious person – which of course excludes the entirety of our fake national news media when it comes to Democrats – might wonder where the money for all that came from.
Of course, the truth of this is really not that hard. Both political parties offer financial assistance to help incoming rookie members of congress find an initial home in the nation’s capitol, where rents are indeed quite high.
Also, as even the New York Times somehow managed to report accurately in 2015, scores of members of congress – including Speaker of the House Paul Ryan – actually choose to live in their congressional offices rather than foot the bill for a second home in D.C. or the surrounding suburbs. These folks work out and shower at the various congressional gyms, and all of the house and senate office buildings contain cafeterias and sundry shops where they can purchase toiletries and other necessities of life.
Many other members of congress find roommates with whom to share costs of apartment or townhome rent and utilities. No doubt there will be dozens who would be happy to bunk in with someone who possesses Ms. Cortez’s obvious elementary school-level culinary skills.
For most new members of congress, this really isn’t that hard to figure out. For Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, though, spelling her own name most likely presents a terrible challenge. Life is tough for now, but hey, she’ll be president in 6 years and everything will be peaches and cream from then on.
The Democrat voters in Queens have blessed us with a rare gift, folks. Enjoy her while you can. I know I plan to.
Oh hey, and Hillary’s running again! – Democrat politicos Mark Penn and Andrew Stein have a great piece in the Wall Street Journal today titled “Hillary Will Run Again.” No, it’s not a belated Halloween fright piece – it’s real, serious stuff, and they happen to be right: The Pantsuit Princess is going to make yet another run for the presidency in 2020.
And of course, this new run will see the Fainting Felon “re-brand” herself for about 235th time, this time as a far-left firebrand! You know, kind of like Alexandria Ocasio Cortez only without the Mac ‘n Cheese! Aren’t you all thrilled?
As you can see from the photo below, she’s raring and ready to go, and has a closet full of her favorite hospital gowns to wear on the campaign trail:
Penn and Stein believe she will easily win the party’s nomination, and they are right. Because, Democrats.
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