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Swalwell’s Live MSNBC Fart Upstages Prince Andrew’s BBC Brain Fart

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

Tired of all this #WINNING yet? No? What’s it gonna take? – For the second straight trading day, every major U.S. stock market set a new record high close on Monday. This Trump economy is so resilient that all the Democrats and their toadies in the corrupt news media have essentially stopped trying to talk it into a recession at this point. It’s so bad for the economic news-fakers that MarketWatch ran a story with this headline: “The record stock-market run enters a new phase when beaten-down bears turn bullish.”  Cool.

This really happened. I swear I do not make this stuff up. – In an appearance on MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Matthews Monday evening, California’s dimwitted congressman Eric Swalwell let loose with what can only be described as a big ol’ rocket fart on live national television. I kid you not, it was like something you get the morning after eating an extra large order of plastic cheese nachos at a baseball game. Here’s the video clip – watch as he actually pauses between words in order to trumpet his presence.:

You could never make these Democrats up. Not in a million years.

Speaking of televised gaseous emissions, how about that Prince Andrew interview? – There appears to be a global consensus forming that convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself, and that has his former clients and associates very, very worried indeed.

No former pal of Epstein has a higher public profile than Prince Andrew of England’s ridiculous royal family. Andrew’s proclivity for hitting on underage girls has been a very public “secret” for so long that Johnny Carson was telling jokes about it on the Tonight Show as far back as 1984:

Faced with persistent rumors about his long friendship with Epstein and accusations of one of Epstien’s sex slaves that he had been one of her abusers, Prince Andrew decided it would just be a boffo idea to do an interview on BBC to put the whole kerfuffle to rest, and amazingly, the normally fairly sensible Queen Elizabeth apparently agreed.  The disaster that ensued is so epic that the royal family may never recover.

Andrew comes across in the interview as an obvious liar, with all the body language and nervous tics regularly displayed by obvious liars during questioning. The rapid eye-blinking, the shaking of the head while giving affirmative answers, the looking down to the left or up to the right while trying to think up a believable narrative, all of those nervous tics and more are ubiquitous throughout the Prince’s ordeal.

As are some of the most unbelievable “explanations” and Clintonian non-denial denials. When confronted by the BBC interviewer, Emily Maitlis, with the claim by former Epstein captive Virginia Roberts Giuffre that, on one of the several nights he abused her when she was underage, he sweated profusely while dancing with her, Andrew claims that he has, no wait, HAD a “peculiar disorder” in which “I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the Falklands War, when I was shot at … it was almost impossible for me to sweat.”

The Falklands War took place in 1982, more than 30 years before Andrew’s alleged dalliances with Giuffre. Pretty sure his adrenalin levels would have returned to normal by then.

As for the increasingly famous photo of the Prince with his arm around Giuffre’s waist and Epstein assistant Ghislaine Maxwell looking on with a smile, Andrew can’t bring himself to absolutely claim that the photo was faked, instead offering the Clinton-like explanation that “I don’t remember that photograph ever being taken … it’s me, but whether that’s my hand …”. Ah, yes, good man, the old faked hand in the photo caper, that’s it. Good show!

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But the capper of all the cappers in this almost unbelievably disastrous interview came when Andrew attempted to explain why, after Epstein had already been convicted for his pedophile activities, he continued to visit his home in New York City, attending a party there as recently as 2010. Andrew’s answers there were that he continued his friendship with Epstein almost reluctantly, at one point saying that it was because he was just “too honorable.”

No kidding – he really said “too honorable.

As if to make it all intentionally more absurd, he claimed that he chose to continue staying at Epstein’s Manhattan lair because it was “convenient.” Yes, one of the most-undeservedly massively wealthy men on earth, a man who could easily afford to rent an entire floor at The Plaza, chose to shack up with a convicted pedophile simply due to its convenience.

The decision by Prince Andrew to conduct this interview has to qualify as the single biggest brain fart in British history.

If you can stand it, here is the full interview for your viewing enjoyment:

That is all.

 

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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Swalwell Out; Steyer In; Democrats Swap One Hopeless Doofus For Another

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

[Editor’s Note: The Campaign Update will be silent from July 11 through July 23 because Dave needs some down time.]

The world mourns the loss of a leftist hero. – Americans all over…well…somewhere were saddened on Monday when Democrat presidential non-contender Eric Swalwell, who famously promised on Twitter to nuke recalcitrant citizens (see below) who refused to surrender their guns to his planned army of jack-booted thugs, announced he was ending his campaign. Swalwell had run a valiant, disciplined and focused campaign, one that saw him rise all the way up to next-to-last place in the race, reaching as high as .000001% in the polls before the first debates two weeks ago.

Sadly, this turned to to be the point of Peak Swalwell.

After what critics unfairly labeled as a “laughable,” “cartoonish,” and “is this guy really serious?” debate performance saw his poll standing fall to .00000001% in the polls taken afterwards, Swalwell reassessed his chances. Realizing that not even appearing on the same stage with the likes of Kirsten Gillibrand and John Hickenlooper had helped his standing with potential voters, Swalwell decided to throw in the towel (if only he could have been on-stage with Beto O’Rourke – then he’d have appeared almost normal). The decision point apparently came when he saw that his popularity had fallen even below that of the despicable and buffoonish Bill DeBlasio.

So back to congress he will go, where he can once again take up the gauntlet as CNN’s second-favorite liar about the Mueller Report, right behind his fellow California congressman, Adam Schiff.

“We have to be honest about our own candidacy’s viability,” Swalwell told reporters at a press conference Monday. “Today ends our presidential campaign, but it is the beginning of an opportunity in Congress with a new perspective shaped by the lives that have touched me and my campaign over the past few months.”

Neither of the two residents of Dubuque, Iowa whose lives apparently touched Swalwell were available for comment. Both were too busy cooking up a new batch of meth.

 

But never fear, for Tom Steyer is here! – Yes, friends, just when things look their darkest, a new self-serving light appears on the horizon. Self-styled “environmental” activist Tom Steyer – hey, did you know he amassed his fortune investing in coal? – plans to jump into the race today.

Oh, joy!

You may remember Steyer. He’s the guy who famously spent tens of millions of his own money in 2017-2018 on a series of TV ads promoting the impeachment of President Donald Trump. He is so personally repugnant on television that the ads actually caused the President to go up in the polls.

Oh, so he’s just like Eric Swalwell, but with a lot of money?  Yes, that guy.

Steyer is a one-trick pony, a pony whose one trick is exactly the same as Washington state Governor Jay Inslee, another sort-of-candidate who is polling at .000000001% in the presidential horse race. So Steyer apparently plans to swoop into the race, scoop up Swalwell’s .000000001% support and fight it out with Inslee over how to destroy the U.S. economy to fight the bogeyman “Climate Change.” The “winner” would presumably then have .00000002% support and be on a bullet to overtake DeBlasio for next-to-last place.

After that, he would obviously target Gillibrand and her .00000003% support, and be off to the races.

No telling how many millions Steyer is willing to part with in order to achieve his goals, but a fool and his money are soon parted, and Steyer has billions to part with. So, it’s probably a lot.

If they didn’t actually exist (which I’m assuming they actually do, though I have no real proof), the greatest fiction writers in world history could never come close to making these Democrats up.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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The Week in Review: Yet Another Lost Week for the Democrats

The Campaign Update Week in Review
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

Oh, so they have to lie, then? – The week started with former Colorado Governor and current hopeless presidential candidate John Hickenlooper becoming so distraught about his party’s race to the farthest extent of the far, far, far, far left that he felt the need to tell an interviewer that “I feel strongly that Democrats have to draw a clear line and say, ‘We are not socialists.'” Not a good look, Dems.

Sunday also saw yet another smear strategy against President Donald Trump die an ugly death. Trump had thrown the entire Democrat/Media propaganda complex into a four-day fit of apoplexy on June 13 when he told the little Clinton toady George Stephanolpoulous that he “would probably listen” if someone from another country called and said he had damaging information about a political opponent. Sensing an opportunity to damage the President, the Democrats and their media stooges spent the next 96 hours trying to convince Americans that that statement was somehow proof that he had personally worked with Putin to fix the 2016 election.

What it all really did was remind everyone that a) Robert Mueller had mounted a 2-year Witch Hunt trying to find evidence that such a thing had happened and failed to come up with anything and b) that the Clinton Campaign had laundered $11 million through the DNC, a law firm and a PR firm to pay foreign agents, mostly from Russia, to try to dig up dirt on her opponent. Apparently the Democrats got some really bad polling information on this smear Sunday afternoon, because the that particular narrative completely disappeared from the nation’s airwaves after about 4:00 p.m. that day, which must have been when the memo went out to everyone. Because that is what they do.

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Monday dawned with great news from Mexico, news that reminded everyone of another utterly failed Democrat/media narrative, which held that the President’s threat to impose tariffs on the failed state to the south would produce no results. We found out Monday that it was producing all sorts of great results in slowing the flow of illegals up from Central America, so the media immediately changed the subject. Because that, again, is what they do.

As the Democrat Clown Car of Mediocrities rolled out their presidential campaign messages to “crowds” of literally dozens of supporters – Eric Swalwell drew exactly 18 for a gun control rally on Monday –  Tuesday gave us clip after clip of thousands of Trump supporters spending as much as 40 hours in line and actually holding tailgate parties awaiting the President’s formal campaign kickoff announcement in Orlando, Florida.

Of course, none of the broadcast networks carried the event, something they had always done for previous incumbents announcing their re-election campaigns, and the petulant creeps at CNN cut away after the President led the crowd in a chant of “CNN sucks!” Because that, yet again, is what they do.

Tuesday also gave us a social media clip of a half-drunk de facto Speaker of the House Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez telling her brain dead fans that the border detention centers being used to temporarily house illegal aliens while their bogus asylum claims are being processed are exactly the same thing as Hitler slaughtering 6 million Jews in concentration camps. As if to amplify their Party’s ongoing lurch to disgusting antisemitism, not a single Democrat leader could summon the intellectual honesty to disavow AOC’s despicable remarks.

By Wednesday, Creepy Uncle Joe Biden, the nation’s Unfrozen Caveman Senator, was being blasted by his fellow presidential candidates for bragging about how he used to get stuff done in the senate by paling around with all those old segregationists of the 1970s. The media let that narrative go on for two solid days before they suddenly realized that all it was doing was reminding everyone that all those segregationists were in fact members of the Democrat Party. Ooopsie.

Also on Wednesday, we found out that the Broadway play about Slick Willie and the Fainting Felon, “Hillary and Clinton”, was shutting down its run early due to … wait for it … low ticket sales. Interestingly, this is the same reason why Slick and the Pantsuit Princess shut down their nationwide tour of evening events months ahead of time. There’s a message in all of this somewhere… wonder what is might be?

Thursday brought us film of Democrat hero Angela Merkel shaking uncontrollably, like Beto O’Rourke giving a campaign speech, as she stood for the German national anthem at a public event. If Merkel were a member of America’s Democrat Party, she’d be a part of its youth movement.

The Democrats’ whole “fossil fuels cause global warming” narrative took a big hit the same day when Canada’s child leader Justin Trudeau declared a “climate emergency” in one breath, and then approved a major oil pipeline in his next. I swear I don’t make this stuff up – who could?

The week got even worse for the anti-American party known as the Democrats when, after it was revealed that Iran had shot down an unmanned U.S. drone flying in international air space, each and every member of the Democrat Party knee-jerked to parroting the Iranian Mullahs’ talking points. Here is California Democrat Jackie Speier, for example:

By Friday, it became obvious that while everyone, Democrats and Republicans alike, was knee-jerking to their favorite talking points, President Trump was the lone adult in the room, speaking in measured tones about the situation and carefully considering all of his options instead of taking action that would end up with innocent people dying.

On that same day we found out that the hacks at USA Today were sitting on polling results showing the President with a 49% public approval rating, the highest he has ever attained in that particular poll. Because that, one more time, is what those people do.

Oh, yeah, it was also Friday when we discovered that Creepy Uncle Joe’s creepy son, Hunter Biden, had fathered a child with a 25 year-old Arkansas woman while he was engaged in an affair with his late brother’s widow, and had refused to take responsibility for the child. My goodness.

The Democrats in the House continued their party’s ongoing War on Women – and on little girls – when they unanimously passed a bill that would force school girls to compete with trans-genders born as males in sporting events. Think about that for a second: The vote was unanimous. Not a single Democrat representative sees anything unfair in this. Unreal.

To close out Friday, candidate Swalwell promised that, as his first act upon taking office, he would summarily fire President Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner. This is just one of many problematic promises the unintentionally-hilarious Swalwell keeps making, given that 1) Kushner is not actually on the government payroll, and 2) by the time a “President Swalwell” took office – an event that will thankfully never happen – Kushner would have already been long-gone away from Washington in any event.

The Democrat/media propaganda complex closed out its lost week by pounding the obviously false story shamefully published in New York Magazine, that, while married to Marla Maples, one of the most beautiful women on the face of the earth 25 years ago, Donald Trump was out raping homely, 52 year-old matrons.

The claim is being made by a pathetic wretch who is hawking a book, and is so blatantly false that even some mainstream media outlets have refused to join in the narrative, a fact that caused Democrat water-boy Chris Hayes to whine on Twitter:

You just really cannot make this stuff up, folks.

And thus, another completely lost week for the Democrats goes into the books.  Couldn’t happen to a more deserving bunch of people.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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Beto O’Rourke Issues the Most Authentic Democrat Apology Ever

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

Apology accepted, you giant a**hole! – Desperate times call for desperate measures, as they say, and no Democrat candidates are more desperate these days than Eric “Otter” Swalwell and Irish Bob “Beto” O’Rourke. This week, both campaigns decided it would be best for their failing candidates to apologize for being exactly who they are.

So, Swalwell went out on Monday and, in on of the most stilted, palpably insincere moments of 2019, made a video in which he apologized to a woman for being a white man, saying “I may be another white guy, but I know there are gaps in my knowledge or in my experience and I know when to pass the mic.”

Ummmm, no, dude, the very existence of this video clearly demonstrates you haven’t the slightest clue about when to do that.

When questioned by Fox News’s Martha MaCallum about Swalwell’s gesture, Trey Gowdy nailed it, saying “Well, Eric’s clearly riding a wave. I think he’s all the way up to zero in the polling.”  Ooof.

Not to be outdone by one of the shrinking handful of contenders he still leads in the polling, Irish Bob O’Rourke issued a video of his own on Tuesday. In this one, he apologizes to his 2018 senate campaign staff for being “a giant asshole.” Which, of course, is what everyone was thinking about him but afraid to say in polite company. But we aren’t in polite company here at Today’s Campaign Update, so we just plow right ahead and say it.

Hey, this is a really promising trend we have going on here for the Democrats. Maybe the rest of the field will take this opportunity issue some heartfelt apologies of their own for their past misdeeds that we are all totally aware of.  Wouldn’t that be fun?

Here are some examples of the apology opportunities that lie out there in Democrat land:

  • Joe Biden could apologize for being a serial woman-and-child groper;
  • Kamala Harris could apologize for being a floozy who slept her way to the Senate;
  • Fauxcahontas could apologize for being, well, Fauxcahontas;
  • The Commie could apologize for being an America-hating Marxist;
  • Pete Buttigieg could apologize for being just so darn cute;
  • Amy Klobuchar could apologize for being a heinously-abusive boss;
  • Cory Booker could apologize to Spartacus;
  • Kirstin Gillibrand could apologize for ever announcing her candidacy in the first place;
  • John Hickenlooper could apologize for having been a pretty good governor, thus ending any hope that he might actually succeed in Democrat presidential politics;
  • Jay Inslee, a horrible governor, could apologize in advance to all those future dead Washingtonians whose bodies will be mixed with leaves and manure to become compost;
  • Bill DeBlasio could apologize for being the worst mayor in a city whose history is filled with an endless series of awful mayors, interrupted only by 8 years of Rudy Giuliani;
  • Tulsi Gabbard could apologize to the other contenders for being the only actually interesting candidate in the entire field;
  • Marianne Williamson could apologize for being someone… I don’t even know who she is;
  • Seth Moulton could apologize to Fox News viewers for denying their ability to cringe and laugh out loud at every opinion uttered on-air by Marie Harf;
  • Julian Castro could apologize for being too authentically Hispanic to ever hope to attract the votes of Democrat voters who just love to be deceived.

This could go on almost endlessly, given the collection of miscreants, hacks and life-long frauds that are leading the race right now.

But of course, it won’t. Being a leftist asshole means never really having say you’re sorry, unless you think there’s some political advantage to doing it. Pretty sure that was in a movie once.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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The Week in Review: Panic in the Deep State as Barr Steams Ahead

The Campaign Update Week in Review
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

No more Twitter Week in Review, I’m afraid. For whatever reason, WordPress doesn’t seem to be able to handle that many photos in a single post anymore. Weird. So until I figure that bit of technical nonsense out, we’ll have to review the week the old-fashioned way, with mostly words. Man, it’s like we’re back in the 20th century here.

So, here is your Week in Review, retro-style:

The week began with fake Republican Justin Amash from Michigan, joining his fellow Michigander Rashida Tlaib in calling for President Trump’s impeachment. Like Tlaib, Amash has no clue what the exact grounds for impeachment would be, but he did know his business interests in China were suffering from the President’s trade policies, and by golly, that was enough for him. In response to Amash’s craven act, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy encouraged Amash to just go ahead and switch parties. Good advice.

While 25 despicable candidates for the Democrat nomination were out around the country giving students false hopes that their massive college loans would be forgiven if only they voted for them – that isn’t gonna happen unless we want to crash the national banking system – Austin billionaire investor Robert F. Smith took matters into his own hands. In the midst of his commencement address at Morehouse College, Smith informed the graduating class that he would personally be paying off their loans, an incredibly generous gesture that will cost him an estimated $57 million.

I would say hey, maybe Smith should run for the Democrat nomination, but 1) I don’t know the man’s politics, and 2) no one that intelligent could possibly attract the votes of the deranged Democrat voter base.

By Monday, it had become apparent that Irish Bob O’Rourke’s “re-boot” of his moribund campaign had already run aground, and polls issued throughout the week showed his numbers had dropped from a fairly consistent 5-6% support a few weeks ago down to a consistent 2-3% now. Apparently, even his wife and dog are now planning to vote for Mayor Pete instead.  Oof.

Hey, remember Eric Swalwell, and how he was also running for the Democrat nomination? Given that he consistently hits 0% in the polls, not many people do. But he is running, though no one is really sure why. On Monday the Washington Free Beacon did the Washington Post’s job, reporting that the 38 year-old California nitwit has failed to pay down his own student loans, which total up to as much as $100,000. Hey, maybe that’s why he’s running – so he can forgive himself. It makes more sense than anything else.

Speaking of Democrats mysteriously in the race, ex-Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper told an interviewer this week that “Withdrawing the U.S. from global engagement makes us less safe.” The only trouble is, no one is doing that. So he wins this week’s non sequitur award.

It was the week that the deep state rats really started scurrying for cover, with Usual Suspects like James Comey, John Brennan, James Clapper and Loretta Lynch very publicly arguing with and pointing fingers at each other in a desperate attempt to avoid becoming the subjects of grand jury subpoenas and indictments. Cartoonist A.F. Branco captured it all perfectly here:

When President Trump re-tweeted that hilariously perfect cartoon, both Brennan and Comey got a very public case of the vapors, which they of course took to their Twitter feeds. Doesn’t everybody?

By Tuesday, the cacophony coming from House Democrats demanding impeachment had reached high enough decibel levels that even doddering old Nancy Pelosi could hear it, so she called a special ‘impeachment meeting’ with all of them on Wednesday morning. Emerging from that meeting, she accused President Trump of executing a “cover-up”, and then immediately traveled to the White House for a long-scheduled meeting with the President and Chuck Schumer on infrastructure. Trump then abruptly cancelled that meeting due to Pelosi’s having just accused him of felonious behavior, starting a public pissing contest between the two that lasted the rest of the week.

Our fake news media blamed Trump for everything, because of course they did.

Another week passed without Robert Mueller or anyone else appearing to testify before Jaba The Nadler’s House Kangaroo Court Committee, formerly known as the Judiciary Committee. Upon learning of Mueller’s latest refusal to show, CNN reporter Manu Raj took to Twitter – because of course he did – to inform his half-dozen loyal readers that “Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s team has expressed reticence to him testifying publicly in front of the House Judiciary Committee, according to sources familiar with the matter. His team has expressed that he does not want to appear political.”

Everyone in Washington and out here in Flyover Country was left to wonder exactly who Robert Mueller’s “team” consists of, given that Mueller is now nothing more than an employee at the Department of Justice. Everyone was also left to wonder when exactly it was that Mueller – who conducted a 20-month Witch Hunt and then, failing to find a crime of any kind, issued a 424 page report specifically designed to damage a sitting POTUS politically – suddenly became concerned about appearing to be political. No answers were forthcoming, although whenever they do come, we can be sure they will be posted on Twitter.

Rock singer David Lee Roth is getting his own Las Vegas residency, because the nation simply cannot get enough of a 70 year-old guy singing “Hot for Teacher.”

Researchers at the University of Iceland violated the ClimateScam narrative this week by noting that that glaciers in both Iceland and Greenland had expanded dramatically over the last 12 months and would continue to expand in coming years. They will no doubt soon be looking for other employment, because the narrative must be honored in today’s academic world.

The Washington Examiner did the Washington Post’s job and discovered this week that Mayor Pete’s dad was a dedicated Marxist who regularly read the Communist Manifesto to his son over the dinner table. Just your normal, every day Democrat politician’s family, right? Right.

Washington state Governor Jay Inslee – who is also running for the 2020 Democrat nomination, because of course he is – signed a bill making it legal to compost human bodies in that state. Have you figured out yet that the Democrat Party is a death cult? Because I have.

In the best talking head clip of the week, Louisiana Senator John Kennedy goes off on John Brennan and Iran:

It isn’t getting anything else productive done, but the U.S. Senate this week managed to confirm the 41st circuit court nominee by President Trump, far and away a record for any president at this point in his first term.

The Creepy Porn Lawyer received even more indictments this week, this time for bilking his porn star client out of $300,000. He now faces up to 410 years in the federal pen. See? There is still justice in America.

Mayor Pete got his Fox News townhall Monday evening, complete with an audience stacked with his supporters and softball questions from a fawning Chris Wallace. Fox’s ratings soared.

Irish Bob O’Rourke got himself a townhall Tuesday night on CNN, causing CNN’s ratings to tank another 30%. O’Rourke then said he sure would like to get him one of those Fox News deals with Chris Wallace, prompting President Trump to issue a tweet asking what in the hell is going on at Fox News?  Good question.

The big bomb of the week dropped on Thursday, as President Trump sent a memo over to William Barr authorizing the AG to begin the process of declassifying documents related to the Obama Administration’s efforts to spy on the Trump campaign, fix the 2016 elections for the Pantsuit Princess, execute a coup on a sitting U.S. president and basically destroy our republic. When asked by one dim bulb reporter what exactly he would be declassifying, the President responded “Everything. We’re declassifying everything.”

Deep State panic ensued.

Bug-eyed Adam Schiff was so panicked that he called the President’s effort towards full transparency in government a “cover-up” and “un-American.” I’m old enough to remember when cover-ups consisted of efforts to hide crucial information from the public. Times change, I suppose.

British Prime Minister Theresa May resigned a few hours after the President sent that memo to William Barr. Even though her intelligence agencies were intimately involved in the effort to construct the fake Steele Dossier and frame members of the Trump campaign throughout 2016, and that May has literally begged Trump not to declassify certain documents, we are to believe the confluence of these events is strictly coincidental. Because, narrative or something.

On Friday, Jabba The Nadler seemed to almost pass out at a press conference with New York Mayor Bill DeBlasio – another guy who is mysteriously running for the Democrat nomination. Trying to destroy a nation of 330 million people is stressful work.

Also on Friday, old Clinton hack Naomi Wolf was humiliated on live radio in London when the host informed her that the entire basis for the book she is promoting is based on her lack of understanding of a British legal term. Her publisher announced on Saturday that it was pulling the book for “re-editing.” Ms. Wolf is one of the rarest of rare Democrats in that she is not running for the party’s nomination in 2020.

Finally, the week ended with MSNBC nitwit host Nicolle Wallace asking Irish Bob O’Rourke the question that is on every fake journalist’s mind: ““Play media critic: What can we do better” to cover his campaign. An obviously flustered O’Rourke had no answer, saying that “it is what it is.”

Why yes, it certainly is.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

Open post

The Week in Review: The Trump Tide Begins to Turn

The Campaign Update Week in Review
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

[The week just past as chronicled on the @GDBlackmon Twitter feed.]

The week began with sellout actor Robert DeNiro threatening Trump supporters that he’d never forget what we’ve done the last few years, whatever that means. Yeah, well, we’re never gonna forget he got paid $20 million for making “Dirty Grandpa” and “The Intern.”:

But things only got better from there. Here is a worker who does, I kid you not, the BEST. TRUMP. IMPRESSION. EVER!:

Slick Willie and the Pantsuit Princess got heckled in their fake “home state” of New York, and all was right with the world.:

Jabba The Nadler jumped in to defend The Enemy Within, Ilhan Omar, in her latest anti-America remarks controversy.:

Cher previews the lyrics to her upcoming new hit sing, “MY CITY CAN’T TAKE CARE OF ITS OWN!!!!”:

…and the next morning’s Campaign Update was all about that Cher tweet, which was the most awesomest tweet in the history of awesomely hypocritical tweets.:

Why “global warming” isn’t really a thing anymore…:

It was mid-day Monday, and Notre Dame was burning.:

Meanwhile, “Morning Joe” was off his meds again. Or maybe he was on them, it’s hard to tell.:

Irish Bob O’Rourke was running low on meaningless sophistries to recite to his mind-numbed followers, so he decided to poll them about what they want to hear, so they could give him a bunch more things to regurgitate back to them on the campaign trail. He is seriously running the most vacuous campaign in Democrat history, and that is the party that gave us two previous campaigns from Joe Biden.:

AOC is actually correct about this, but the truth about Creepy Joe Biden won’t sit well with San Fran Nan.:

San Fran Nan was trying to get AOC and The Enemy Within under some control, and her efforts did seem to have some dampening effect on their behavior as the week wore on. It won’t last for long, though.:

Well, that sure doesn’t fit the narrative. Not at all.:

Because he plans to “pay” for it by ordering the Treasury to print trillions of new dollars every year, devaluing the currency in the process. Same way he plans to pay for free college and all his other mindless socialist ideas. It’s the Venezuela model.:

Eric “Because the Government has nukes” Swalwell entered the presidential race, solely to play the role of the Democrat Party’s stalking horse on gun control.:

Andy McCarthy had a great piece on the Obama Cabal’s spying operation on the Trump Campaign.:

Yikes. Running Roy Moore for that senate seat again would be like Texas Democrats running Wendy Davis as their gubernatorial candidate again.:

Here’s my Campaign Update on San Fran Nan’s efforts to control her radical Kiddie Caucus by putting them in semi-time out.:

Tea Biscuits everywhere stand highly insulted by this tweet from the inimitable James Woods.:

Irish Bob O’Rourke was too busy riding a skateboard in his sheep suit.:

The slow turning of Fox News continues…:

Our fake news media barely noticed, but realeasing the Mueller Report wasn’t the only important action taken by Attorney General William Barr this week.:

CNN’s real competition isn’t Fox News or MSNBC, it’s TLC and The Food Network.:

Gosh, I wonder what tipped him off?:

Best, most prescient meme of the week here.:

Brit Hume tipped me off to one of the best things I’ve read all year. You should read it, too.:

I’m old enough to remember when journalists were trained to bitch and moan whenever public officials refused to hold press conferences. Now, they bitch and moan when the Attorney General holds one. It’s all so despicable.:

All carbon tax proposals are nothing more than money-grabbing scams.  Every one of them. Remember this key fact of political life – it will serve you well in the future.:

Tim Young is the hammer, liberals are his nails.:

I’m always happy to be of service to others.:

And just like that, here we go.:

President Trump offers the most concise summary of the 400-page Mueller Witch Hunt Report.:

….aaaaannnnnndddd the celebration at the White House begins.:

The media reaction to Barr’s release of the Mueller Report was highly-predictable, and oh, so entertaining.:

….they were still melting down the next day, to no one’s surprise.:

Their behavior was so abhorrent that they’d even lost Geraldo Rivera, for crying out loud.:

Chris Cuomo looked like a deer in the headlights.  Ok, he always looks like a deer in the headlights, but still…:

Meet the new #NeverTrump talking points, same as the old #NeverTrump talking points. So tiresome.:

Fauxcahontas was on the warpath, sending out smoke signals demaning scalps!:

….aaaannnnnddd reliable old NBC News led the charge with the new officially-approved joint Media/Democrat talking points, as the goal posts shifted yet again.:

And finally, Mitt Romney saw what he thought was a chance to advance his own presidential ambitions by jumping in with the Democrat/Media propaganda complex, because of course he did.:

What an amazing week it was, huh?

Happy Easter to you all!

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

Open post

Eric Swalwell Seeks to Put the “POS” in POTUS

The Afternoon Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

Some mid-day short takes on the passing scene…

If Eric Swalwell gets elected to the presidency in 2020, he will be living proof that you can’t spell POTUS without the “POS.” – First, he threatened to nuke gun owners on his Twitter feed. Next, he proposed a plan to use Australia and New Zealand as his role model countries for his plans to confiscate your guns.

Now, the farcical college frat party planner from California tells the execrable CNN host Jake Tapper that he would send gun owners to prison should they refuse to comply with his Stalinist gun grab. If your fondest wish is to bring a violent civil war to this country, vote Swalwell in 2020! He’s your man.

By the way, everyone is aware that Swalwell is not in this race because he thinks he has the slightest chance of winning it, right? He is obviously a token, put up to it by Party leaders as a stalking horse to try to gin the public up on the gun control issue. He’s going to be the guy out there promoting all of these radical “solutions” to gun violence so that the other, more viable candidates don’t have to do it themselves.

This way, the Democrat Party and its media co-conspirators keep the gun grabbing issue constantly in the news cycle throughout the nominating process, helping to normalize it in the public consciousness while at the same time allowing the actual leaders in the race to avoid it almost entirely. The hope is to create enough media attention on the subject to allow the eventual Democrat nominee to latch onto the issue on the pretense that Swalwell’s advocacy created some sort of popular groundswell.

If you think the Democrats would never stoop to such an underhanded, dishonest strategy, well, what planet have you been living on for the last 25 years?

Guess who wrote this stuff. – Here are some outtakes from a wonderful opinion piece out there on the interwebnets today. See if you can guess the identity profile of the person who wrote them:

We are so well off here in the United States that our poverty line begins 31 times above the global average. Thirty. One. Times. Virtually no one in the United States is considered poor by global standards. Yet, in a time where we can order a product off Amazon with one click and have it at our doorstep the next day, we are unappreciative, unsatisfied, and ungrateful…

Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez recently said to Newsweek talking about the millennial generation, “An entire generation, which is now becoming one of the largest electorates in America, came of age and never saw American prosperity.”…

Never saw American prosperity. Let that sink in. When I first read that statement, I thought to myself, that was quite literally the most entitled and factually illiterate thing I’ve ever heard … Now, I’m not attributing Miss Ocasio-Cortez’s words to outright dishonesty. I do think she whole-heartedly believes the words she said to be true…

Let me lay down some universal truths really quick. The United States of America has lifted more people out of abject poverty, spread more freedom and democracy, and has created more innovation in technology and medicine than any other nation in human history. Not only that but our citizenry continually breaks world records with charitable donations, the rags to riches story is not only possible in America but not uncommon, we have the strongest purchasing power on earth, and we encompass 25% of the world’s GDP. The list goes on. However, these universal truths don’t matter.

So, what identity profile would you guess most likely fits this writer? My bet is that most readers would guess those words come from an older, white male baby-boomer. Right?

Wrong. those passages and many more wonderfully thoughtful, appreciative and incisive words were written by a young, Millennial-aged woman who wrote them while sitting in a busy “hipster” coffee shop in Nokomis, Florida. Her name is Alyssa Ahlgren, and you all should follow this link to read her entire piece. It’s the best and most encouraging thing you will read today.  Promise.

I swear this is not satire.:

You seriously just cannot make this stuff up.

In case you missed it, we have one more data point that indicates we finally, at long last, have a real Attorney General atop the nation’s Department of Justice now:  A ruling by Attorney General William Barr on Tuesday means certain migrants seeking asylum will not be released on bond but instead will stay in detention.

The NBC report linked above says that the ACLU is already working up a lawsuit to appeal the ruling – they’ll no doubt file it in a district court within the jurisdiction of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals – but no matter: This ruling is well within Barr’s authority under the law, and any adverse ruling coming out of the 9th Circuit will be reversed by the Supreme Court.

This ruling will have a significant dampening effect on the flood of illegal immigrants coming up through Mexico from Central America to make false claims of asylum, because it closes one of the biggest loopholes in the asylum process. Absent the incentive of knowing they will be released into U.S. society after a brief stay in a border detention facility, those seeking to defraud the U.S. asylum system will be far less willing to make the dangerous 1,000 mile trek to the U.S. border.

This what thinking Americans who wish to preserve our country call winning.

Thanks, Mr. Barr.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

Open post

The Week in Review: Spying, Lying and Eunuchs, oh my!

The Campaign Update Week in Review
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

[The week just past as chronicled on the @GDBlackmon Twitter feed.]

The week began with the bag of scum named Preet Bharara admitting he actively plotted to reverse the results of the 2016 elections after Donald Trump was elected. Things got much, much better from there.:

See? There really is good news out there if you just look for it…:

I am so surprised to learn that this could happen in our public schools! said no adult who has ever dealt with the public schools in America.:

This about sums it up, all right.:

What if the Commie Mayor of New York City visited Nevada as part of a presidential campaign exploratory effort and nobody noticed?:

The ineffectual Kirstjen Nielsen got canned, and Larry Schweikart summed it up properly.:

Chris Coons demagogued the Neilsen firing, and pissed me off. Can you tell?:

James Woods with some really strong advice.:

One of the best parts of Twitter is reading all the enraged replies to the Babylon Bee by social justice warriors who are too dim to realize it is a parody account. Priceless.:

This was only the most predictable thing in the world.:

I’m not sure whether to laugh, cry, or just recoil in abject horror.:

The video of activist Candace Owens raking House Judiciary Democrats over their racist coals became the most-watched web-based video in C-Span’s history.:

Attorney General William Barr threw the Democrats and their news media co-conspirators into a panicked frenzy this week with his two days of congressional testimony. It was glorious.:

This happened on Wednesday.:

In the midst of it all, the shameless hacks at CNN just kept on doing what they do better than anybody else in the business, faking the news.:

No, times haven’t really changed much at all. All the racists in the un-doctored version of that photo were Democrats, too.:

GOP Texas Cong. Dan Crenshaw told the truth about Ilhan Omar’s despicable comments on 9/11. Democrats can’t handle the truth, so this tweet touched off a firestorm that raged through the rest of the week. *sigh*:

The Houston Chronicle embarrassed itself with this op-ed.:

AG Barr set the world afire once again with his clear-eyed admission that the Obama Administration was “spying” on the Trump Campaign. Democrats once again recoiled in abject horror at the truth finding its way into the public domain, because of course they did.:

CNN responded in very, very, very predictable fashion. The faked the news. *sigh*:

Oh, look. Bill Kristol thinks he still has “Republican friends.” Isn’t that precious?:

The hacks at Politico tried their best to keep up in the fakenews game by faking the news on…wait for it…a presidential visit to Mount Vernon.  I kid you not.:

Why yes, yes they are.:

Nick Searcy perfectly captures the essence of the Eric Swalwell for President campaign.:

I found the perfect screen shot of CNN’s little eunuch.:

Meanwhile, in news no American with a life gives a damn about…:

That’s a rhetorical question, right, Brit Hume?:

Hoping American taxpayers aren’t looking, makers of non-competitive electric vehicles campaigned to actually increase their already-princely taxpayer subsidies. Because of course they did.:

Also, this happened.:

Thursday was turning into a really epic day…:

Really, really epic…:

Some irrational tweets by mindless leftists require a rational answer.:

AOC decided to come to Ilhan Omar’s defense in a stupendously vapid way that only she could possibly achieve. For those unaware, Dan Crenshaw is a Navy Seal who fought for this country against terrorists in the Middle East, lost an eye in a roadside bomb attack, and is the recipient of a Purple Heart.:

The news of the indictment of Obama’s former White House Counsel was given less than a minute’s air time by the three major fake news networks. No surprise there, right?:

The latest media-created Democrat “Rising Star” was turning poor Beto into a has-been.:

By coincidence, my very thoughtful daughter and granddaughter bought me a fabulous new t-shirt. I’m wearing it, right now, in fact.:

Chevron bought out Anadarko in one of the biggest U.S. oil and gas mergers in the 21st century.:

Adam Schiff, whose home state has been using illegal immigrants as political pawns for decades now, tips off the Democrat/media talking points on Trump’s plan to relocate illegals to sanctuary cities. Hilarity ensuses.:

Speaking of our favorite pendejo, here he is, lying about the ongoing border crisis.:

Sure glad to see the Pentagon has its national defense priorities straight. *sigh*:

This bit of fakenews from Politico hasn’t held up well in light of current events.:

It’s the big one, Elizabeth! I’m comin’ to join you!:

We’ll close the week out with this one. If you want to understand the inner workings of the Democrat/media hive mind, it’s a good read. If you’re a Democrat, you should avoid it, since you might learn something.:

 

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

Open post

Jump on in, Alec Baldwin, the Water’s Fine!

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

Go for it, dude. – Fading actor and public assault and battery specialist Alec Baldwin took to his Twitter account yesterday (because that’s how all the fading celebrities communicate – right, Alyssa Milano?) and said this:

Yeah, that’s what Hillary Clinton thought, too. But, oh, hell, why not? Why not have an actor who is most famous for impersonating the President run against him? Would he be any less credible than than the assortment of cranks, hacks, and political grifters who are already in the race?

After all, the field already includes a candidate who is most famous for impersonating an Indian, another who thinks he is Spartacus, a senator who got ahead by sleeping around, another senator who is most notable for abusing her staff, a senator from New York who nobody can figure out why in the hell she’s in the race, a loser who wears sheep suits and rides a skateboard onto stage, a Commie who honeymooned at Lenin’s tomb, and a former vice president who can’t keep his hands off of women and children.

Would Alec Baldwin really bring any less credibility to a presidential race than that clown car? I mean, shoot, he did play Jack Ryan in a movie that one time, so he’s got that going for him.

And I haven’t even mentioned Pete Buttigieg yet. Here’s a guy who favors murdering children right up until the moment at which they would be born and even beyond, and he just spent half an interview on “Meet the Press” and much of his speech at something called the LGBTQ Victory Fund National Champagne Brunch questioning the religious beliefs of the sitting President and Vice President of the United States.

Well, isn’t that special? (Some of you baby boomers will get that reference; you Millennials will probably have to Google it.)

As I predicted a few weeks ago, Mr. Buttigieg is the latest media-facilitated “rising star” in Democrat circles, a guy with no real notable political achievements to speak of – other than getting elected to a notable office – but a guy who checks a lot of the demographic boxes favored by the Democrats’ social justice warrior voter base and who looks good on television. He’s probably about to be eclipsed by the looming, very large presence of the next media-facilitated Democrat “rising star”, Stacey Abrams, but for now, he’s da bomb in media circles, the guy all the Sunday shows are dying to have as their guest and all the fake newspapers and magazines like Vanity Fair can’t wait to profile and compare to Kennedys. He should enjoy all the attention while he can.

But wait, there’s more!

Now, we have this Eric Swalwell guy officially running. He made that official announcement on … wait for it… the Late Show with Stephen Colbert! Because of course he did.

Swalwell is a guy who has the maturity level of the average college frat social director – he is Otter from “Animal House” in the flesh.

His entire schtick is to go on CNN and MSNBC and lie about all the proof of Russia Collusion he has seen but can’t talk about in any detail because it’s all like doublesecretprobation and stuff and only he and Adam Schiff have seen it but everyone is supposed to believe him because he’s the social director for the biggest frat of all, the Democrat Party.

*sigh*

If Lorne Michaels and the writers at Saturday Night Live were intent on creating real humor these days rather than tiresome political swill, they’d invite Tim Matheson to guest host and have him do an impression of Eric Swalwell announcing his presidential run standing next to the beer keg at the frat party. Have Stephen Colbert play the Boone character. That would be some funny stuff right there.

But back to Alec Baldwin: He was likely joking with that tweet yesterday, but hey, why wouldn’t he go ahead and jump into this race? After all, it’s already a car filled with clowns, and he’s a professional clown these days, so he’d fit right in.

Kamala would probably even let him call shotgun.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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