Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
This is the Democrats’ great new hope? Trump’s a shoe-in. – In the grand tradition of awful presidential campaign announcement videos – like the one of Fauxcahontas pretending to cook up some American Indian food in her kitchen while slugging down a beer – former Democrat Mayor Michael Bloomberg formally announced his entry into the race over the weekend with this wretched posting on Instagram:
Michael Bloomberg is kicking off his 2020 run with an instagram Q&A pic.twitter.com/gAbQwOCjoN
— Behind 2020 (@Behind2020) November 25, 2019
Yeah, that’s really gonna shake up the race, huh? Bloomberg has all the energy of a hibernating bear and the charm of the average New York City street vendor. Check out that posture – what message is this 77 year-old man attempting to communicate to his audience by perching himself pelvis-forward in that tiny chair?
And you have to love the little message box that is superimposed atop his crotch, saying “Send me your questions for #AskMike.” The first question, obviously placed there by an order-obeying staffer, is “What’s your favorite pizza?” Yes, surely, that pressing question is no doubt on the collective hive mind of every potential Democrat voter who has surveyed the existing field of candidates and come away wondering “can these idiots really deliver the grade of pepperoni I truly want? And what about the anchovies and extra cheese?”
Think about that for a second: Remember that these Democrats never do or say anything in public that hasn’t been polled or focus group tested. You’re telling me that Bloomberg paid someone good money to come up with this?
Of course, here’s the dirty little secret in all of this: Bloomberg isn’t in this race to win the Democrat presidential nomination. He’s in this race so he can receive the cheaper political candidates’ rates as he invests a few hundred million dollars in TV and social media ads. Those ads won’t target Quid Pro Joe, Fauxcahontas, The Commie or Preacher Pete, like any serious candidate for the nomination would do. They will target President Donald Trump.
Bloomy isn’t really a candidate for the presidency, he’s part of the resistance. He knows he can’t win this nomination after watching fellow idiot billionaire Tom Steyer drop a hundred mil or so of his own money to finally get to the point where he is polling 1% in the national polls.
But he also knows the Democrat Party is broke, with the GOP out-raising it by a factor of almost 10 to 1. The party’s base is fractured, and its gigantic field of candidates ensures that the money invested by all the pro-Democrat super PACs will remain fractured as well for quite some time to come.
So, Mayor Big Gulp could pour his money into one or more of those Super PACs or into some dark money “issues advocacy” groups, and is very likely already doing that. He could also donate gobs of money to the Democrat National Committee, but that would be controlled by doofuses like DNC Chairman Tom Perez. By pretending to be a candidate himself, Bloomberg gets a lot more bang for the buck. More importantly, he is able to fully control the message.
But if his first video offering is any indication of his messaging prowess, he is, like Steyer, most likely going to be wasting his money.
Somewhere, President Trump is laughing. It’s hard to blame him.
That is all.
Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.