Michael Bloomberg Formally Launches His Phony Candidacy

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

This is the Democrats’ great new hope? Trump’s a shoe-in. – In the grand tradition of awful presidential campaign announcement videos – like the one of Fauxcahontas pretending to cook up some American Indian food in her kitchen while slugging down a beer – former Democrat Mayor Michael Bloomberg formally announced his entry into the race over the weekend with this wretched posting on Instagram:

Yeah, that’s really gonna shake up the race, huh? Bloomberg has all the energy of a hibernating bear and the charm of the average New York City street vendor. Check out that posture – what message is this 77 year-old man attempting to communicate to his audience by perching himself pelvis-forward in that tiny chair?

And you have to love the little message box that is superimposed atop his crotch, saying “Send me your questions for #AskMike.” The first question, obviously placed there by an order-obeying staffer, is “What’s your favorite pizza?” Yes, surely, that pressing question is no doubt on the collective hive mind of every potential Democrat voter who has surveyed the existing field of candidates and come away wondering “can these idiots really deliver the grade of pepperoni I truly want? And what about the anchovies and extra cheese?”

Think about that for a second: Remember that these Democrats never do or say anything in public that hasn’t been polled or focus group tested. You’re telling me that Bloomberg paid someone good money to come up with this?

Of course, here’s the dirty little secret in all of this: Bloomberg isn’t in this race to win the Democrat presidential nomination. He’s in this race so he can receive the cheaper political candidates’ rates as he invests a few hundred million dollars in TV and social media ads. Those ads won’t target Quid Pro Joe, Fauxcahontas, The Commie or Preacher Pete, like any serious candidate for the nomination would do. They will target President Donald Trump.

Bloomy isn’t really a candidate for the presidency, he’s part of the resistance. He knows he can’t win this nomination after watching fellow idiot billionaire Tom Steyer drop a hundred mil or so of his own money to finally get to the point where he is polling 1% in the national polls.

But he also knows the Democrat Party is broke, with the GOP out-raising it by a factor of almost 10 to 1. The party’s base is fractured, and its gigantic field of candidates ensures that the money invested by all the pro-Democrat super PACs will remain fractured as well for quite some time to come.

So, Mayor Big Gulp could pour his money into one or more of those Super PACs or into some dark money “issues advocacy” groups, and is very likely already doing that. He could also donate gobs of money to the Democrat National Committee, but that would be controlled by doofuses like DNC Chairman Tom Perez. By pretending to be a candidate himself, Bloomberg gets a lot more bang for the buck. More importantly, he is able to fully control the message.

But if his first video offering is any indication of his messaging prowess, he is, like Steyer, most likely going to be wasting his money.

Somewhere, President Trump is laughing. It’s hard to blame him.

That is all.

 

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

12 thoughts on “Michael Bloomberg Formally Launches His Phony Candidacy

  1. Gregg - November 25, 2019

    Great points on why he is actually running Dave. Has Doomberg divested himself from Bloomberg “News”?

    I see where the former little three term (when the city charter limited the mayor to two terms which is why Giuliani left, but he somehow got changed) Dictator of NYC and other billionaires are getting heat from senator Comb Salad Fork and the “squad” of four dingbats for unfairly bringing their mega-money into the race. Big money polluting Democratic politics, oh, the HORROR!

    A local commentator in TN was asking today where is Bloomberg’s constituency going to come from? Answer: Same as the current NYC Dictator, NOWHERE!

    Run Mikey Run!

    When is Warren Buffet (I rather vote for Jimmy Buffet), Bill Gates, T. Boone Pickens, and other rich lefty wackos going to get in the race? The more the merrier.

    The simple fact is the Democratic party is a loose coalition of disparate malcontent minority groups that have nothing in common except their universal hatred of Trump, America, and Republicans meaning they have nothing compelling to appeal or sell to the American voter. The old adage that was used often against the miserable GOP candidates that you can’t beat someone with no one has never been more true.

    The simple truth is the Dems have no one who can unite their party much less the country – that person simply doesn’t exist.

    1. Monte Geldern - November 25, 2019

      R.I.P-T Boone Pickins

  2. Jimmy MacAfee - November 25, 2019

    A Michael Bloombug candidacy has more in common with a cute-kitty video than anything meaningful or of value. But seriously, Bloombug has some skeletons, which will be fun to see come out of the closet! Just like Bugeyes.

  3. Sharon Campbell - November 25, 2019

    One word….RIDICULOUSNESS

  4. Jimmy MacAfee - November 25, 2019

    What’s with the pizza question? (Anything to do with Anthony Weiner’s laptop?) There were real issues behind what has been labelled “Pizzagate,” and it is NOT a conspiracy theory. Remember how they used to say that the “Deep State” was just a “conspiracy theory.” Not just a theory anymore, is it? And Jeffrey the pedo – just another conspiracy theory to ABC News and their parent company, Disney. (Want some “spirit-cooked” pizza, Michael? I hear the Podestas are cooking this Thanksgiving!)

    This man looks as ancient as Angry Bernie/Bony Bernie. Time and age are not his friends.

  5. Jimmy MacAfee - November 25, 2019

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2019/11/breaking-fbi-lawyer-who-altered-fisa-docs-and-his-lover-worked-for-current-icig-who-edited-ic-whistleblower-form-to-legitimize-schiff-sham/

    I suspect that Bloombug is a holder – someone to take the place of Quid Pro Joe.s Gropey Joe is having an accident, a conniption fit; he’s the type to say, (as Secretary Ron Brown once stated): “I’m not going down alone.”

    Eric Cinderella is going down, though; all they have to do is run his No Such Agency file. All his files – everything – with a few keystrokes! All his sabotage of the Office of the Presidency – open season for investigation! Think Cinderella is going to turn back into a maiden by midnight?

    Bloombug is a distraction. Nothing more.

    1. phineas gage - November 25, 2019

      test

    2. phineas gage - November 25, 2019

      Sorry for the distraction–my posts to the main thread are vanishing into the ether, but apparently the reply function is OK. I’ll wait for a new thread and try again.

      1. Jimmy MacAfee - November 25, 2019

        Save what you write, post, and if it doesn’t go, put it up again, having edited it for words that the moderator (not Dave) won’t print. Rinse, repeat: make sure to save the edited work. With those words that seem to be banned, maybe use a symbol instead, like the word “s#it.” Sometimes I’ve had to edit my work 7-8 times (other times, I wished I HAD edited my work, because my message wasn’t clear, or I made typos.)

      2. David Blackmon - November 25, 2019

        Sorry about that- it is entirely a function of the evil minions at WordPress. I only delete obscenities and outright bigotry.

  6. Sink Jaxon - November 25, 2019

    Bring it Mikey…LMAO!!!!

    1. phineas gage - November 25, 2019

      That was the odd thing–I know how the robot filters don’t like certain words, but the post was entirely anodyne.

      Just a glitch, I guess.

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