Advertisements

CNN Plumbs New Depths of Depravity With Weinstein Puff Piece

Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

Getting tired of all this #WINNING yet? – The Trump economy just will not cooperate with the Democrat/media effort to create a recession out of whole cloth. On Monday, all three major stock indexes – the Dow, S&P 500 and Nasdaq – finished at all-time record highs.

True to form, CNBC, in its coverage of this happy event for America, noted in a sub-head that this latest major rally has come as a shock to all the experts: “Nearly everyone on Wall Street underestimated the strength of this year’s stock market.”

ummm, if the “experts” are always wrong about everything, shouldn’t we be looking for new people to refer to as “experts?”

Likely conversation at CNN editorial meeting…

CNN editor: Hey, uh, we appear to have gotten all the mileage we can from all these stories canonizing this Al-Baghdadi guy. Anybody have any thoughts on which human pond slug we glorify next?

CNN fake reporter #1: How about we do another 5,000 word piece on Beto and what he plans to do with the remainder of his sainted life? He’s so cute, and we could use the word “dusty” and compare him to a Kennedy…

CNN editor: Normally I’d jump all over that one, but we’ve done it 3-4 times before…

CNN fake reporter #2: What about Al Franken? He’s making a big comeback you know, or trying to.

CNN editor: uh, we need to tread lightly on the whole Franken thing. I mean, who among us hasn’t sexually assaulted a sleeping actress, or at least wanted to, right?

[Nodding heads all around the table. Brian Stelter mainlines a powdered sugar donut. Jake Tapper combs his hair. Chris Cuomo sits in a corner staring at the wall.]

CNN fake reporter #3: I know! Let’s do a glowing day-in-the-life profile of Ed Buck! He’s being treated so terribly out there in California – you know, he probably only killed two or three male prostitutes.

CNN editor: Good thoughts there, but it would’ve been better to do that before he got arrested – we might have bailed him out of all of that, and he could still be funding Democrat politicians. I mean, what’s a day in his life like now that he’s being held at the county jail? It’s hard to get 3,000 words out of his one daily phone call.

CNN fake reporter #4: ummmm…is Pol Pot still alive?

CNN editor: Pretty sure he’s dead.

CNN fake reporter #4: Idi Amin?

CNN editor: Dead, too.

CNN fake reporter #4: What about Generalissimo Francisco Franco?

CNN edtor: Still dead.

CNN fake reporter #4: How about Joseph Goebbels? I mean, I know he’s dead, too, but he is Zucker’s role model after all…might score some points with the boss!

CNN editor: It’s a valid thought, but our Democrat masters might not appreciate us being so up front on that one. We’re supposed to maintain this facade, you know, or at least try to.

[More nodding heads around the table. Alisyn Camerota daydreams about graduating 6th grade on her 3rd try. Chris Cuomo bats at an imaginary fly. Brian Stelter emulates his life’s hero Jake Tapper by running a comb through his imaginary hair.]

Anderson Cooper: I got it! Let’s do a positive profile of our buddy Harvey Weinstein! Nobody’s doing that one!

CNN editor: We have a winner! Get on it, Chloe Melas!

[End]

Yes, friends, just when you thought the demented cretins at the fakest fakety-fake fake news channel on television could not stoop any lower, they go out of their way to prove you wrong yet again. Last night, CNN published a story by entertainment fake reporter Chloe Melas with the I-kid-you-not headline of “Harvey Weinstein weakened but unwavering two years later.”

You seriously could never make this stuff up.

Think I’m kidding? Check out these snips from the piece:

CNN has learned from those closest to Weinstein that he isn’t sorry about his alleged misconduct. He’s combative, maintains he is innocent of any crime and is planning for a career comeback post-trial. His attorneys have maintained that any sexual contact between Weinstein and his accusers was consensual.

Harvey’s combative! He’s punching back at his tormentors! Unwavering in his innocence!

“Anyone who looks at him or talks to him knows this has taken an emotional and physical toll. Is his health failing? Not in a life or death situation, but I think he’s just breaking down,” one of his friends told CNN.

His health is suffering, the poor man! Feel sorry for him!

Weinstein used to spend his days in the Tribeca offices of The Weinstein Company, the movie studio he co-founded in 2005 with his now estranged brother, Bob Weinstein. These days he’s mostly alone in his Manhattan apartment, “obsessing” about the trial and the women who have accused him, said one of his friends.

Oh, noes! Harvey’s lonely! He’s obsessing about his accusers who have wronged him so!

“He feels like he is owed an apology from Hollywood,” the source added. “I think there’s a part of him that thinks he will come out on the other side of this and be welcomed back to some version of his old life.”

He’s owed an apology! He can’t wait to get back to work! Why is he being mistreated so???

“When you ask what life is like for Harvey, all you have to do is turn on nightly news and see women screaming at him, ‘You’re a rapist,'” Rotunno said. “People have sort of made their decision in the court of public opinion and that’s been my problem with a lot of the coverage.”

Don’t judge him! Those mean women!!! Why does everyone keep judging him????

“There’s a difference between sins and crimes,” Rotunno said. “You may think that you don’t like the way Harvey conducted himself at times or choices that he’s made, but that doesn’t mean he’s a rapist.”

He’s Bill Clinton! We didn’t impeach Bill Clinton! Well, ok, we impeached him, but we didn’t remove him from office! Stop this madness!!!!

I would be fair and also point out that Ms. Melas then goes on to point out the likely truth about the allegations made against this walking, talking horror movie monster, but she and everyone else at CNN do not deserve fairness here. Because they decided to do this semi-puff piece voluntarily, for no reason other than that they wanted to.

Truly, the depths of CNN’s depravity have no floor.

[NOTE: About 15 minutes after I published this piece, CNN revised the headline on this story to read, ”

Harvey Weinstein combative and in denial ahead of rape trial, inner circle says

You could never, never, ever make these people up, folks.]

 

That is all.

 

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “CNN Plumbs New Depths of Depravity With Weinstein Puff Piece

  1. Reply
    Jimmy MacAfee - November 5, 2019

    Hilarious, Dave!

    Weinstein should rename himself “Jabba the Hutt.” Same shape, complexion, disposition – wonder if Spielberg wasn’t making a statement all the way back then?

  2. Reply
    phineas gage - November 5, 2019

    The worst thing about the media (it’s hard to choose) is their rank hypocrisy. If there was a conservative Republican accused of similar crimes, they would be attacking him like a band of rabid weasels.

    These are terrible people and their imminent demise cannot come soon enough.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Scroll to top
%d bloggers like this: