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Beto O’Rourke Hits Rock Bottom, Literally and Figuratively

Today’s Campaign Update, PART II
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

You seriously just cannot make this stuff up, folks. – He’s tried everything in his failed campaign for the presidency: Lying about illegal immigration, lying about white supremacy, promising to steal your guns; hell, even his nickname is a lie designed to attract Hispanic voters. He’s re-booted his campaign four times thus far, and every time he does, his polling numbers fall even lower.

He’s tried waving his arms wildly, then holding them at his sides stiffly, then waving them wildly again. He’s tried jumping on tables to attract attention, pretending to change a tire on the van he was driving around Iowa, riding a skateboard, exploiting horrific tragedies and live-streaming his dental appointments, all in vain efforts to attract attention. And still, his polling numbers just kept nose-diving.

After the humiliating low turnout for his “counter-rally” in Grand Prairie, Texas on Thursday, you might have thought Irish Bob O’Rourke had finally, at long last, run out of ways to humiliate and embarrass himself. But if you thought that, you would be wrong. Oh, so terribly wrong.

I kid you not, folks, Saturday, October 19, 2019, will forever be remembered in history as the day that a pathetic, bumbling presidential joke candidate actually took to Twitter to do this:

Yes, friends, today is the day when a Democrat running for the presidency endorsed an effort to force taxpayers to fund the free provision of menstrual products to “individuals” who have “limited access” to those products.

Now, you may be wondering why the bill, H.R. 1882, otherwise known as the Menstrual Equity For All Act of 2019, would use the word “individuals” rather than describing the 50.1% of the human race who are actually able to have periods, “women.”

Well, the answer to that is that H.R. 1882 promotes the fantasy that people with men parts – and not women parts – are actually just as able to experience menstrual cycles as actual women who have actual women parts are able to do.

This is where Irish Bob O’Rourke wants to take our society: To a place in which jack-booted federal thugs arrive at your door at 3:00 in the morning to take away your guns, and where federal social justice warriors show up at your door once every 28 days to deliver menstrual products to your mentally ill 17 year-old son.

I swear I don’t make this stuff up, folks. Who could?

That is all.

 

Today’s news moves at a faster pace than ever. Whatfinger.com is my go-to source for keeping up with all the latest events in real time.

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15 thoughts on “Beto O’Rourke Hits Rock Bottom, Literally and Figuratively

  1. Reply
    Mike Abbott - October 19, 2019

    I’ve been trying to imagine actually meeting someone like this face to face. Apparently my imagination is quite limited because I can’t.

  2. Reply
    Vetmike - October 19, 2019

    ‘Hit rock bottom’ Now let’s dig a six foot deep ho;e under him.

  3. Reply
    Bill in Lexington,NC - October 19, 2019

    Apparently he still has some OPM left (Other People’s Money). Given his consistently abysmal results, why is this guy still in the race? I ask that in all seriousness … there is a REASON he’s still here and I’d like to know what it might be.

    1. Reply
      phergus - October 19, 2019

      Bill ; I’d wager as big a douche as Irish bob is …his Hubris is way bigger.

      1. Reply
        Greg - October 19, 2019

        That’s easy. He’s married to a billionaire.

        1. Reply
          Gregg - October 20, 2019

          His wife must really be a piece of work…

  4. Reply
    phergus - October 19, 2019

    It’s official…Irish bob is a douche.

  5. Reply
    Jimmy MacAfee - October 19, 2019

    Dave, as I was reading your description of the Menstrual Equity Act, I was thinking “this has to be about trannies.” And all I had to do was read a tiny bit further…aaaaagghhhhhh! This guy must have a permanent wedgie. How can anyone explain the insanity? (Other than, of course, insanity. ) No offense to the non-criminally insane, who have to deal with being compared to Hamster Mouth With Flailing Arms, his Cherokee name if he invents one in order to keep up with Lieawatha. I’m guessing his poor wife is keeping the escapade funded in order to escape his pawing grubby hands? (Ol’ flailing arms likely has all the skills of a big teenager in the back seat of a Dodge Duster with his first attempted conquest who still has braces.) Just taking a wild guess.

  6. Reply
    jtthedestroyer - October 19, 2019

    I suspect the Republican National Convention contributes to his campaign as well as the two homothexthuals and Willie’s ho.

  7. Reply
    George Ingols - October 20, 2019

    Beto passed through Montgomery. Al yesterday or day before (Not sure-nobody cared) for a Meet & Greet at it looked like someone’s rundown house in a run down neighborhood. It showed two rooms with people standing around, maybe 25 total if you counted the one TV station filming too! It was pathetic, he looked with a wino and mumbled something garbled that the TV station cut off after about 45 seconds. He is a winner in the Biggest Loser Contest and I don’t mean Weight Loss!

  8. Reply
    william - October 20, 2019

    ACIDHEAD “Psychedelic Warlord” O’Rourke…. every O’Rourke I ever met was a liar and mental case but doing LSD really baked this fruit cake.
    Talk about “cultural appropriation”! FRANCIS ORourke is less Hispanic than Pocohantas Warren is Indian.

  9. Reply
    willford2blog - October 20, 2019

    IF the MO-RON beturd EVER got hungry enough, He might would make a USED furniture salesman AT family’s furniture store? MAYBE?

  10. Reply
    RandyLee - October 20, 2019

    betaboy hit bottom? that implies that, at some point, he left the bottom. after listening to the moron for the last 2 years, I’m convinced he has always been at the bottom.

  11. Reply
    Gregg - October 20, 2019

    H.R. 1882, otherwise known as the Menstrual Equity For All Act of 2019

    Who said the Dems in congress weren’t doing something for the American People other than running the never ending impeachment charade for their never satisfied demented base.

    Trump and the RNC should use H. R. 1882 in a campaign commercial to show how feckless the Democratically controlled house really is.

  12. Reply
    Jimmy MacAfee - October 22, 2019

    DNC head Perez said some time ago: AOC is “the future of the Democratic Party.” No, she’s the big mouth of the party, while Beta is the other end. (Together, they make a complete donkey.) Add their extreme positions and you have the entirety of the Democratic Party as we know it today.

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