Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
There’s a senate race in Texas, and the Democrats have no viable candidates. – Texas Dems floated Wendy Davis’s name as a potential challenger to incumbent Senator John Cornyn back in March, and boy did that one come up a crapper. No one, it seems, not even the ghouls at the Texas chapter of Planned Parenthood, want to return to the days of “Abortion Barbie.”
But what are the Democrats to do? Who are they going to field as an alternative to Davis who might scratch the 40% mark against Cornyn? San Antonio Congressman Joaquin Castro – the twin brother of presidential hopeful Julian Castro – was approached, but he knows a losing proposition when he sees one. The Dems could try to run the former Dallas Sheriff who ran for governor last year, but hey, everyone’s already forgotten her name, me included. So that’s not a likely winner. You might think that Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner would make a strong challenger to Cornyn, but right now it’s looking like he’s going to have a tough time just getting re-elected to his current job this coming November.
So, what are the Texas Democrats to do? They have to run somebody in the race, don’t they? Well, sure they do, and that’s why their eyes have more recently turned back to their heartthrob from El Paso, Irish Bob O’Rourke.
Hey, they’re thinking, you’re sitting there at about 3% in the Democratic presidential horse race right now, your campaign has become a national joke even among many Democrats, the fawning fake reporters who all wanted to be your girl- or boyfriend last fall are now all making goo-goo eyes at the mayor of a mid-size town in Indiana, and your chances of making a comeback on that national stage are roughly the same chance Benny Hill has of becoming the next James Bond. So, here’s an idea – why not come back to Texas and redeem yourself for that loss to Ted Cruz last fall?
Sounds like a peachy idea, right? Sure, it does. Let our precious Beto return triumphantly to Texas and…er…ok, well, he’s sort of have to just skulk on back to Texas with his tail between his legs, but still. Texas is where his home is, where his heart is, kind of, if you ignore the fact that he has taken positions that would destroy the state’s economy by killing the oil and gas industry, take away all of our guns, and open the southern border even more than it already is to the human-and-drug-smuggling that is causing so much misery here.
With friends like Beto, Texans need no enemies.
But, boy, do Texas Democrats want him back, regardless. When Quinnipiac polled them in early June on the subject, fully 60% of them said they want Irish Bob to challenge Cornyn while just 27% said they want him to continue his joke of a presidential bid. Texas Democrats, it seems, do love their political jokes, but they just want them to run for lower offices.
So, come on home, Irish Bob. Come back to Texas where all the fake reporters at the Austin American-Statesman and Texas Tribune can fall madly in love with you again. And fall in love again they will, since you would be running against a detested Republican instead of a bunch of fellow Democrats.
You’ve made an ass of yourself on the national stage long enough; come back to Texas where you will be praised by all the local news outlets for making an ass of yourself at home. All that Hollywood money that you’ve been unable to collect for your presidential campaign is just itching to pour back into a senate race here.
This is what Texas Democrats are imagining, anyway.
To Texas Dems, O’Rourke is like the home town favorite son who rejects their pleas to stay home and make their town a better place, choosing instead to move off to the big city to make his fortune there. Now that he’s failed in that quest, they’re wanting him to come back home to recapture that magic.
The problem with such returns is that, in real life, they seldom work out too well. By the time the favorite son returns home, everyone back home has heard about his big city failures and his former glow has lost its luster. To make matters worse, a whole new crop of other favorite sons have graduated from the local high school and some of them have decided not to leave.
There is no doubt that Irish Bob O’Rourke captured a sort of political magic that we seldom witness in his race against Cruz last year. But his was a flash-in-the-pan sort of magic that dissipates as quickly as it was conjured up, and is almost never recaptured once it’s gone.
Texas Democrats are clamoring for their precious Beto to come back home right now, but are likely to end up being extremely disappointed in the results should he decide to do so.
That is all.
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