Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
Hey, when it comes to paying bribes, El Chapo don’t mess around. – A witness in the trial of El Chapo told the judge and jury that the infamous (Ah, Dusty! In-famous is when you’re more than famous! This guy El [Chapo] is not just famous, he’s IN-famous!” – Ned Neiderlander, from Three Amigos) drug lord paid former Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto a bribe of …wait for it…$100 MILLION in 2012.
The witness, a fellow named Alex Cifuentes, who worked at the time as El Chapo’s “secretary”, whatever that means within a brutally violent drug cartel, further informed the jury that Pena Nieto was apparently disappointed in the amount of the bribe, since the then-President had originally demanded the princely sum of $250 million. Holy crap.
In his opening statement in the case last November, El Chapo’s lawyer, Alex Lichtman, had alleged that Pena Nieto’s predecessor on office, Felipe Calderon, was also taking massive bribes from the Sinaloa Cartel.
In all fairness to the former presidents of Mexico, Cifuentes is not exactly what one would call a “reliable” witness – he’s just a guy reciting a narrative that he thinks is to his advantage. Some of what he says may be true, but to the extent that’s the case, he’s only saying it to advance his narrative.
However, isn’t the real problem here that, given everything we know about how the drug cartels dominate vast swaths of the failed state at our southern border, his testimony sounds totally believable?
Why yes, yes that is exactly the problem.
And speaking of utterly corrupt organizations… – Meanwhile, over at MSNBC and CNN, Tuesday was a big day. It began with the news that CNN, the reigning king of news-fakery on the planet, had landed the big annoying fish.
Yes, friends, if you thought it would be impossible for CNN to become any more annoying and tedious than it already is, well, think again, because yesterday the fake news network signed former Ohio Governor and son-of-a-postal-worker John Kasich to be a “senior policy analyst” going forward. The fake news organization announced that Kaisch will be a contributor on several different shows across its fake platform every day, which means viewers of all ages, genders, ethnicities and sleeping habits will now be treated to incisive commentary like the following:
“Why, my dad was a postal worker…”
“When I was governor of Ohio – hey, didja know I was governor of Ohio? – well, when I was governor of Ohio…”
“Hey, that 70% tax rate that Alexandria Ocasio Cortez is proposing is perfectly in line with true conservative values…”
“You know, my dad was a postman – didja know that? – well, he was, and because of that I vetoed that bill…”
“Those of us who were raised by postal workers know that walls don’t work…”
[Disclaimer: Like Mr. Kasich, my own father had a career in the U.S. Postal Service, which is good and honest work that anyone should be proud of doing. Unlike Mr. Kasich, I don’t feel the need to bring that fact up every time I try to make a point.]
Shortly after that very unexciting announcement was made, another CNN “analyst” – being an “analyst” on CNN is sort of like being a “secretary” in a Mexican drug cartel – named Areva Martin made big news on social media by accusing conservative Sirius XM radio talk show host David Webb of benefiting from “white privilege”. Webb’s response was possibly the funniest moment of the entire day. Here’s the exchange:
“That’s a whole ‘nother long conversation about white privilege, the things that you have the privilege of doing, that people of color don’t have the privilege of,” said guest Martin.
Confused, Webb asked, “How do I have the privilege of white privilege?”
“David… by virtue of being a white male you have white privilege,” Martin began, when Webb interjected:
“Areva, I hate to break it to you, but you should’ve been better prepped. I’m black.”
D’oh! What a totally CNN moment that is, right?
But hey, never let it be said that the sleazy dimwits who infest MSNBC can be outdone by CNN when it comes to on-air despicability. MSNBC fake “news” anchor Stephanie Ruhle got into a discussion with former Florida congressman David Jolly – one of MSNBC’s pretend “Republican” conributors – about South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, and the following exchange ensued:
“Before Don got elected, Lindsey Graham called Donald Trump a racist, xenophobic bigot. Those are Lindsey Graham’s words,” Jolly said. “I doubt Lindsey Graham could tell you Donald Trump has had a change of heart in the last 24 months, I bet the change of heart has been with Lindsey Graham, not the president.”
“Or it could be that Donald Trump or somebody knows something pretty extreme about Lindsey Graham,” Ruhle replied. “We’re gonna have to leave it there.”
Yes, friends, you read that right: MSNBC “anchors” are now going on-air and accusing the President of the United States, without evidence, of blackmailing a United States Senator.
Just like El Chapo’s secretary, Ms. Ruhle and Ms. Martin are just parrots reciting their given narratives, narratives that they believe advance their causes, whatever those may be. They don’t care if anything they say on-air has any basis whatsoever in fact or truth, because in their minds there is no such thing as objective “truth” anyway. And they obviously have full license from their infamous el Jefes at NBC to carry on their efforts to corrupt the American public with disinformation, just as the Sinaloa Cartel corrupts the American public with drugs.
At their essence, there is no real difference between the drug cartels and these corrupt fake news organizations, all of whom attack the foundations of our society by trafficking in their respective brands of narcotics for the masses.
You tell me which line of work is more despicable, because I’m having a really hard time deciding.
That is all.