Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
Okay, so, time to switch to Under Armor or New Balance. – The geniuses at Nike decided that Monday, which was Labor Day, would be a great time to unveil its new ad campaign star, unemployed ex-San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick. Alienating half of your potential customer base at the outset seems like an odd marketing strategy, but hey, I don’t sell athletics shoes for a living, and I’m not Nike’s target consumer anyway. So, no doubt things will work out fine. Or not. Either way, I won’t be buying Nikes anymore, and neither will millions of other Americans who think it’s inappropriate to take a knee during the National Anthem.
Man, no one could’ve seen this one coming. Oh, wait… – Tourism is down in Lexington, Virginia. Not just down – wayyyyy down. Why is this a thing in Today’s Campaign Update, you ask? Why, because Lexington, VA is the home of the Red Hen Restaurant. You remember that place, right? Yes, this is the establishment owned and run by the lunatic leftwing social justice warrior who, along with her staff, refused to serve White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders and her family when they attempted to dine there a few months ago.
The incident didn’t end there. Not content to merely run the Sanders brood out of her own mediocre establishment, the Red Hen’s proprietor led a gaggle of her rancid staff across the street to harrass them as they attempted to eat at another Lexington restaurant. Such lovely people, these leftists.
Anyway, as is always the case in this world – and will be the case with Nike, by the way – actions have consequences, and the consequence for the Red Hen and the other unlucky businesses that share streetfront property with it in Lexington, is that business is bad. Not just “bad,” but baaaaaaaaaaaadddd. The Director of Marketing for the local tourism board, Patty Williams, told reporters over the weekend that the area is still feeling effects from the ridiculous incident. “For a town our size, it was a significant impact,” she said. Go figure.
But hey, the board has a plan, and that plan is to spend millio…er, thousands of dollars (because that’s all they have available to them) on a campaign to “spread positive messages of the area,” messages that will presumably include an assurance that visitors to the city are not required to patronize the Red Hen and its ill-tempered, childish staff of SJW snowflakes. No doubt this marketing plan will work every bit as well as Nike’s new marketing plan will work. Hey, maybe Lexington can get Collin Kaepernick to do some spots for its campaign as well. After all, the dude has nothing else on his plate.
Our long national nightmare continues… – Ok, we got one day off after the 8 Days of John McCain’s Traveling Funeral Show ended, and that’s it. Now, get ready for four straight days of wall-to-wall fake news media coverage of fake hearings related to the nomination of Bret Kavanaugh to become the next associate justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.
Truth: Bret Kavanaugh is an extremely well-qualified candidate to sit on the nation’s highest court, a widely-respected jurist with a long history of decisions at the federal district and appellate court-levels that place him square in the mainstream of American jurisprudence. In a real world in which things like truth and respect for America’s institutions reigned, these hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee would last about half a day, the end result of which would be a near-unanimous vote by the committee to recommend his confirmation to the full senate.
But this is not the real world; this is today’s Washington, DC.
Reality: Democrats on the Judiciary Committee will turn these hearings into a three-ring circus, and their co-conspirators in the fake news media will join them in attempting to brainwash you all into believing that Kavanaugh is Darth Vader incarnate, an evil monster who is coming after every woman’s reproductive rights and who wants everyone to be killed on the streets by guns. Rank demagogues with presidential aspirations on the Committee, like California Senator Kamala Harris and New Jersey Senator Cory Booker, will use their time questioning the nominee to burnish their street cred with the party’s far, far, far left voter base.
Rank demagogues who are too ancient to hold presidential aspirations on the Committee, like California’s Dianne Feinstein and Vermont’s Patrick Leahy, will barely be able to read and recite questions written for them by their unpaid interns and have no earthly idea what Kavanaugh is talking about when he answers them. Leahy, who has was first elected to the senate by the brain-dead voters of Vermont in 1974, has been a Democrat mainstay in every controversial supreme court nomination since Robert Bork in 1987 and has yet to ask a cogent question of any nominee of a Republican president. That’s quite a record.
The rest of the Democrats on the Committee will also ask questions, but no one will care.
The thing to know about this nomination is that it has already been won, barring some major brain fart by the nominee while at the witness table this week. He has already received the tacit endorsement from all the GOP squishes like Susan Collins, as well as from the always-difficult Rand Paul, so Kavanaugh will in all likelihood get 50 votes from Republicans alone, which is all he needs to be confirmed. Add to that 3 or 4 Democrat senators like Heidi Heitkamp and Joe Manchin who are in tough re-election campaigns in Republican-majority states, and you end up with essentially the same number of votes to confirm received by President Trump’s first nominee, Neil Gorsuch.
So the spectacle we’re about to be pummeled with throughout this entire week is basically just four days of hyped-up Kabuki theatre. The outcome has been pre-determined, but the actors still demand they get their full time on stage.
Are you ready for your screen test, Ms. Harris?
Just another day in Kabuki dance America.
That is all.
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