Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
Hey, everybody, Mike Murphy’s organized a new gig for himself, aren’t you excited? Um, well, who’s this Mike Murphy, you ask? Are you kidding me? You don’t know who Mike Murphy is? Wow, where have you been?
Ok, seriously, there isn’t really much reason why you should have any idea who this guy is, unless you make a habit of studying epic failure. Murphy, a guy who bills himself as “one of the Republican Party’s most successful political media consultants,” is so darn successful that he boasts a list of past clients that include failed 1996 presidential nominee Bob Dole, failed 2008 nominee John McCain, failed 2012 nominee Mitt Romney, and of course, epically failed 2016 GOP nomination candidate JEB! Yes, that JEB!, the JEB! who wasted well over $150 million one one of the most hilariously awful media campaigns in modern times, the JEB! who began the race as the overwhelming favorite to claim the GOP nomination and ended up having to pull out after the South Carolina primary without having even come close to winning a single contest.
Yes, this is THAT Mike Murphy. That guy.
This is the Mike Murphy who last August told CNN’s fake interviewer Chris Cillizza that “Post-election Donald Trump will be alone, despised by his own party, a failure rebuked by the nation, and politically neutered even more than he is today.” Today, 7 months later, Donald Trump has a job-approval rating higher than Barack Obama held at the same point in his first term in office, is supported by about 85% of the GOP voter base, has accomplished more in his first 14 months in office than any modern president and is presiding over a booming economy that is achieving 3% growth quarter after quarter and is nearing full employment.
This Mike Murphy guy will never make a living as a sooth-sayer. I’d say he should keep his day job if he weren’t such a failure at it.
But Mike Murphy clearly has a talent, and that talent happens to be convincing high-profile Republican political candidates to let him waste millions and millions of their dollars on epically-failed media campaigns. Just ask Meg Whitman, who let Murphy waste $150 million of her own money on an utterly failed run for California governor in 2010.
So, why am I talking about Mike Murphy this morning? Because Mr. Murphy has decided that President Trump needs to face a GOP opponent in the 2020 Republican nomination contest, and he is just the guy to manage the campaign to mount that challenge. To that end, the self-absorbed clown has formed what he is calling the “NeverTrump War Room,” from which he will presumably raise a bunch of money from the same class of big-money idiots who funded his JEB! brainchild, and which he will use to attract some political juggernaut – like Arizona Senator Jeff Flake and his 18% constituent job approval rating – to challenge the incumbent President in his pursuit of a second term.
Bragging that “after 30 years in politics I’ve seen how fast support can crumble,” – a personal talent to which Dole, McCain, Romney, Whitman and JEB! can certainly attest – Murphy speculates that all the agonisties currently tormenting the President will turn out to be just too much for rank and file Republicans to take come 2020, and they will be pining for a new candidate to lead them out of the low-tax, 3% economic growth and 3% unemployment “wilderness” that NeverTrump morons so detest.
When that happens, Mike Murphy plans to be right there waiting, with a NeverTrump war chest overflowing with money to be wasted on some famous white guy who sounds suspiciously like…wait for it…oh, you have to wait for this one…MITT ROMNEY! I’m not kidding – here it is in Murphy’s own words from his Politico column of March 28:
“Who could run? It’s far too early to name names, but for a tested, highly competent potential contender with immaculate conservative credentials, I’d keep an eye on political developments in Utah.”
But hey, if the GOP voter base turns out to not exactly be pining for a rerun of Romney’s stunningly inept campaign of 2012, Murphy has another model for the perfect candidate, who unsurprisingly sounds exactly like Sen. Flake, who became so detested by voters in his home state he decided to not even seek re-election:
“Another potential archetype would be a candidate promising a return to conservative ideological purity after three big-spending years of braying populism. There is no shortage of potential “real conservatives”—many promising generational change as well—itching to run for president.”
It is this special kind of “genius” – the kind that can continue to milk lame-brained wealthy Republican donors of millions and millions of dollars with promises of this kind of epic failure-in-the-making – that sets Mike Murphy apart from his competitors. You know, those competitors who actually like to win elections from time to time.
So, will Murphy succeed in his goal to raise another couple hundred million to waste on yet another epic failure in 2020? The smart money says there is plenty of stupid money out there to allow Murphy to extend his epic losing streak.
The smart money also says that President Trump isn’t real concerned about the NeverTrump War Room. In fact, he probably welcomes it, since it shows his enemies in the Republican Party still have no clue whatsoever.
Just another day in NeverTrump nitwittery America.
That is all.
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