How the Left Celebrates the 4th of July

Today’s Campaign Update

(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

  • Lunatic California Congresswoman Maxine Waters celebrated our nation’s birthday by threatening our Housing and Urban Development Secretary, Ben Carson:  “[If he] things [sic] that I am going to give him a pass, I am going to take his a** apart,” Waters told an audience at something called The Essence Festival in New Orleans.  Such a lovely, peaceful nitwit.
  • The fake reporters, anchors, editors, and management at CNN celebrated the nation’s birthday by learning that all their fake reporting and retracting stories and firing fake journalists led to a 20% decrease in the fake news network’s prime time audience during the month of June.  They all no doubt rededicated themselves to double down on their news-fakery efforts in July.
  • The fake journalists at The Hill reported that at least a dozen FBI employees sported the same t-shirt to the agency’s “Family Day” celebration on Saturday.  The logo on the t-shirt read “Comey is my Homey.”  This is what is known at the White House as a target-rich environment for cleaning out the DC Swamp.
  • In Murder City, aka Chicago, progressives celebrated the weekend leading into Independence Day as they always do, by shooting one another.  By midnight on Sunday, at least 6 Chicagoans had died, with reports citing as many as 50 having been wounded by gunfire in the streets of a city that has been led by Democrats exclusively for a century.  No wonder President Trump is threatening that the federal government might take over law enforcement duties in this cesspool.
  • On NBC’s fake news program “Meet The Press”, fake host Chuck Todd celebrated the nation’s birthday by assuring his viewers that he had no intention of discussing actual issues.  This exchange actually happened:

    Health and Human Services Secretary TOM PRICE:  Chuck, you know, this is really remarkable. You’ve got incredible challenges across this nation, incredible challenges around the world. The challenge that I’ve been given is to address the health care issues. And your program, a program with the incredible history of “Meet the Press,” and that’s what you want to talk about?

    TODD: I don’t.

    PRICE: Let me suggest to you that the American people want to talk about the challenges.

    TODD: Mr. Secretary, I don’t.

  • And of course, blessedly former President Barack Hussein Obama celebrated the birth of the United States of America by doing the same thing he’s always done, speaking out about the evils of actual patriotism.  No one should have expected anything else from this clown.

Happy Birthday, America!

That is all.

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