Today’s Campaign Update, Part II (Because the Campaign Never Ends)
Quick: What’s the first thing you will be looking for at tonight’s Democrat debate? – Be honest: Won’t you be trying to see whether or not Mini-Mike Bloomberg will be standing on a box?
Thank you, President Trump, who hilariously issued this pair of tweets on Tuesday after it was announced that Bloomberg had miraculously “qualified” for the debate, thanks to a very convenient fake poll dummied up by NBC/Wall Street Journal:
…..Mini is illegally buying the Democrat Nomination. They are taking it away from Bernie again. Mini Mike, Major Party Nominations are not for sale! Good luck in the debate tomorrow night and remember, no standing on boxes!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 18, 2020
“No standing on boxes!” I’m still laughing.
But seriously, if you want to understand how short Mini-Mike really is, all you have to do is look at this photo, if you can stand it:
There he is in all his glory, standing with the Fainting Felon, who was listed as being 5’5″ when she was young – before gravity began taking its toll, as it does on everyone. These days, she is almost certainly no taller than 5’4″.
If you’re thinking, hey, she’s wearing heels, think again. The Coughing Crook can barely stand upright in flats – she probably hasn’t put on a pair of heels since she was First Lady. Of Arkansas.
Meanwhile, it has long been rumored that Mini-Mike wears loafers with lifts.
So, yeah, he will most likely be standing on a box tonight, or employing some other trick of stagecraft to make him look at least as tall as Amy Klobuchar. Look carefully. In fact, if you focus only on that and completely ignore all the utter crap that Mini-Mike and the other candidates will be spewing tonight, you might just survive the ordeal.
The real question for Bloomberg here is why he wants to be in this debate at all. While he did manage to “qualify”, it’s really hard to see any real advantage for him to be a part of this particular event.
First of all, he is seriously the most boring individual on the planet. It’s not as if he is going to say a bunch of stuff tonight that will set Democrat voters hair on fire with desire to go out and write-in his name at Saturday’s Nevada caucuses.
Second, the moderators of this event – even those who are already in Bloomberg’s deep pockets – will be absolutely obligated to ask him pointed questions about all the videos that have surfaced in the past 10 days of him making demeaning comments about a vast variety segments of American society, most of whom are traditional Democrat voter groups. The parade of these videos continued on Tuesday, with Bloomberg now adding the LGBTQ community to the list of offended Democrat constituencies:
Mike Bloomberg doesn't think America cares about LGBTQ issues
"If your conversation during a presidential election is about some guy wearing a dress and whether he, she, or it can go to the locker room with their daughter, that’s not a winning formula for most people,” pic.twitter.com/d8uDxJtY3R
— MICHAEL SHERIDAN (@TWlTTERMlKE) February 18, 2020
Yikes. How’s Mini-Mike gonna answer a question about that one in a way that mollifies the rabid Democrat voter base?
Third, unless he has already bought all of his opponents off – which, admittedly, is entirely possible – he will become the target of their aggressions. All of this, and he isn’t even on the ballot in Nevada or the next contest in South Carolina.
Back to President Trump’s tweets: He hits the tiny nail on the head when he points out that Mini-Mike is “spreading money all over the place, only to have recipients of his cash payments, many former opponents, happily joining or supporting his campaign. Isn’t that called a payoff?”
Well, yes. Yes, it is a payoff, and yes, that’s exactly what Bloomberg is doing. It’s exactly what he has done throughout his entire professional life.
For example, tonight’s debate will be held on NBC. The moderators, according to The Intelligencer, will be:
NBC anchor Lestor Holt, Meet the Press host Chuck Todd, NBC News White House correspondent Hallie Jackson, Noticias Telemundo correspondent Vanessa Hauc, and the Nevada Independent editor Jon Ralston.
So, five moderators, and you can be sure that at least 2 of them have been paid off in some way, shape or form by Mini-Mike. Those who, like Holt and Todd, are based in New York City, have without doubt benefited from Bloomberg’s largesse, if only by being on the regular guest list for his various parties, galas and other major events, where they get to hobnob with Mini-Mike and all the beautiful people of New York society.
While Bloomberg’s generosity is famous, he is also famous for his vindictiveness. Do you think either man will want to give all that up by asking an overly-aggressive question of their benefactor, or by following up to demand that he actually answer the question directly when he tries to obfuscate? Please.
This is precisely why the intertwining over the last half-century of the big media establishment with the big political establishment has been so utterly destructive of our society. It is precisely why we no longer have anything resembling an independent press in our country, why the media is so utterly corrupt and fake.
So, Bloomberg and all he represents will be on stage tonight, and you will be able to easily identify which moderators and candidate have and have not already been bought off. Because that’s what Mini-Mike does.
That’s why, at the end of the day, tonight’s debate is likely to look an awful lot like this:
Tfw you use a budget influencer instead of spending a billion on memes pic.twitter.com/QRl8C7jM8U
— The Daily Wire (@realDailyWire) February 16, 2020
You seriously could never make these people up, folks. Not in a million years.
That is all.
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