Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
Is there anything Joe Biden didn’t do first? – I mean, to hear him tell it, anyway.
Seriously, Biden has been a creature of the DC Swamp since time immemorial, which means since 1973 for all you Millennials out there. Throughout all that time, he’s never been considered to be any sort of guy who has been on the cutting edge of societal evolution. He’s always been on the wrong side of literally every foreign policy issue, never out front on any budgetary matter that anyone can remember, and the truth is that he’s always been very slow to react to our nation’s shifting cultural currents.
But to hear ol’ Joe tell it, why, he’s the guy who wrote every important bill of the last 45 years, he’s the guy who was always behind the scenes telling his “good friend Barack” when he was doin’ stuff wrong, and he’s always been the first to be out-front on controversial, shifting societal norms.
So it was that, as he and his hyper-cautious handlers toured yet another fair in Iowa (seriously, does Iowa have a state fair or festival every weekend of the year?) Biden grabbed a young female college student who had had the temerity to actually ask him a question that the Democrat activists in the news media would never dream of asking him and shouted “I was the first to come out for marriage!”, which in Biden-speak meant he believes he was literally the first DC Swamp creature to voice his approval of gay marriage.
Which probably isn’t true, given that, after leaving the senate in 2008, he and his “good friend Barack” ran on a platform that was firmly opposed to gay marriage. As recently as just a few months ago, Biden was still in the habit of telling off-color gay jokes at public events:
— Victoria Brownworth ?️? (@VABVOX) June 30, 2019
A quick Google search reveals that the first recorded instance of Joe Biden voicing approval for gay marriage came in 2012, when, as is his habit, he just blurted out a position contrary to Obama’s during an interview, an act for which it was later revealed he was called on the carpet by the then-President.
By 2012, dozens of elected Democrats and even a few Republicans had already voiced their strong approval for gay marriage, which means that once again Biden was exaggerating the cutting edginess of his political career. But hey, it’s just good ol’ Joe, so what does it matter?
Biden, in his confrontation with the female college student, also revealed he is waaaaayyyyyy behind the times when it comes to his party’s gender-identity politics. Prior to his grabbing the young lady by the arm and pulling her in to shout at her, the two had this exchange:
“How many genders are there?” the girl asked.
“There are at least three,” Good ol’ Joe responded.
“What are they?” she asked.
Biden becoming visibly angry, responded: “Don’t play games with me, kid.”
So, as we see there, Biden is up to three genders now, although he obviously has no idea what the third one might be, which may be the first time he’s ever agreed with about 95% of all Americans.
But according to the social justice warrior crowd, the number of genders that exist among the human race are simply a matter of however many any aggrieved individual wants there to be. There might be three, there might be 30, there might be 300, depending upon how some random person feels about it.
Maybe that’s what Biden meant when he scolded the girl not to play games with him. There are only three genders now because that’s how he was feeling about it at that particular time. Next Tuesday, on the other hand, he might well feel like there are 624 separate and distinct human genders, who knows?
When you think about it, this how-am-I-feeling-today-based concept of what reality happens to be is a perfect crutch for Biden to adopt. After all, if anything you say, any opinion you express is real because that’s how you happen to be feeling, then all of Biden’s myriad gaffes suddenly disappear into the ether. In the future he can just say “Hey, I wanted to sniff that guy’s wife’s neck because I was feeling like doing that right then – don’t you dare judge me!” or something like that, and all the CNN and MSNBC and New York Times reporters would all nod their heads and move onto another pre-approved softball question.
This is Joe Biden, folks. This is the unfrozen caveman politician the Democrat Party wants to put in the White House next year. Isn’t life grand?
That is all.
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