Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
Why, what could possibly go wrong? – A team of Chinese scientists is grafting human genes into monkeys, in an effort to make them “smarter and more human-like.” I swear I don’t make this stuff up.
According to the report in the Business Recorder, “Researchers edited the human version of a gene known as ‘MCPH1’ into the macaques. The gene made the monkeys’ brain develop along a more human-like timeline. The gene-hacked monkeys showed better reaction times and improved short-term memories in comparison to their unaltered peers...” I smell a sequel to “Plant of the Apes” in there somewhere.
In all seriousness, these monkeys should immediately announce their candidacy for the Democrat presidential nomination. They would smarter than half the field, better-behaved that Irish Bob O’Rourke, make a great target for Amy Klobuchar to vent her frustrations, and be far more “human-like” than Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders.
And speaking of Irish Bob O’Rourke… – Here’s the problem with being a media-created Democrat “Rising Star”: Everything tends to go to crap when the media inevitably finds a new rising star to create. For our hero, Irish Bob, it’s all turning into a tale of woe – or, more accurately, one of woeful polls that came out yesterday in the states that make up the first two contests of the nominating process.
First came a new Monmouth University poll of registered Democrat voters in Iowa, where O’Rourke spent the first week or so of his official campaign in March, driving around the corn fields in his carbon dioxide-emitting gas-powered van because he wanted to show he was a man of the people and the people in Iowa don’t drive no Teslas because Teslas don’t use no Ethanol, don’t you know. That pandering strategy apparently did not work out so well for our sheep suit-wearing fake Hispanic, nor did all the jumping up on the nearest table and waving his arms to get attention.
The results of the Monmouth poll are clear: Iowans don’t much care for Beto. O’Rourke, who just a few months ago was widely touted as one of the favorites in this race by his legion of media adorers, came in a very weak sixth place with just 6% support, trailing Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigieg, Kamala Harris and even Fauxcahontas in the results.
Yes, friends, Iowa Democrats prefer a fake Indian to a fake Hispanic. Go figure.
As if that result weren’t awful enough for the premiere media darling of 2018, the folks at St. Anselm’s College released a poll of New Hampshire Democrat voters to make matters even more depressing. It turns out that Granite State Democrats would rather live free or die than vote for a circus clown who livestreams his dental cleanings and calls Bibi Netanyahu a racist.
Irish Bob again comes in a very weak sixth place, again with just 6% support in this poll. He trails the same five other candidates as in New Hampshire, though in a slightly different order, with the fake Indian popping up ahead of Harris in this state.
So, what’s going on here? Well, several things.
First, as I noted a few weeks ago, Irish Bob most likely missed his window of opportunity to become an immediate, early leader in this race. He was without question the media’s favorite Democrat at the end of 2018 – they had a crush on him like a high school cheerleader with a crush on the team’s quarterback. That crush would have continued and even intensified had he returned the media’s longing desires by immediately and decisively announcing his candidacy on New Year’s Day or very shortly thereafter.
But he didn’t do that. Instead, he did what high school quarterbacks often do and fooled around for a few months. While the adoring media longed to have its precious Beto in the race, Irish Bob chose to play the field, as it were, hemming and hawing, often disappearing for weeks at a time, and refusing to commit to the relationship that the media so desperately desired.
In the meantime, other candidates anxious to attain the media’s “Rising Star” status were getting into the race and eagerly courting the media’s affections. First came Kamala Harris, who rocketed up the charts firmly into a strong 3rd place behind Biden and Sanders as soon as she offered to take the media out on their first date. It seemed to be a match made in fake news media heaven for awhile, until Harris began committing repeated gaffes, like getting caught on camera letting a CNN fake reporter help her pick out jackets at a high-dollar department store. That show of favoritism to one fake media outlet served to turn other fake media outlets off and had them go out looking for another “Rising Star” to create.
Enter Pete Buttigieg, or “Mayor Pete”, as his media adorers now love to call him. Young, good-looking, smart, quick with the recitation of his favorite talking points, able to hold his own in a tough interview with Chris Wallace – young Mayor Pete seemingly has it all, including being openly gay and married, which is like manna from heaven for his media courtiers.
As first Irish Bob’s and then Kamala’s “rising stars” have faded, it is no accident at all that Mayor Pete’s has eclipsed them in the Democrat Party’s media-created night sky. That’s what a plethora of softball interviews on the cable and broadcast networks, along with all the glowing “He’s just like another Kennedy!” profiles in the New York Times, the Washington Post, the New Yorker and Vanity Fair will do for a guy.
And here’s the thing about Mayor Pete: He’s not stupid or self-absorbed enough to just blow his media cheerleaders off, like their precious Beto did. Nor is he inept enough to engage in a similar series of off-putting gaffes like the bumbling Kamala.
No, Mr. Buttigieg is not a mere shooting star, no flash in the pan, as it were. You should get used to seeing his name running strong in the polling in this race, at least until someone even more attractive to the fickle fake media cheerleaders comes along and sweeps them off their feet.
Other than possibly those monkeys in China, it’s getting harder and harder to see who is still out there who might swoop in and get the media’s date to the Homecoming dance.
That is all.
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