Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
The Campaign Update wishes you all a very happy Independence Day!
Tired of all this Winning yet?: Wal-Mart was discovered to be hawking t-shirts with the slogan “Impeach 45” at its online marketing website, an incredibly bone-headed move by a retailer whose business is largely focused out here in Flyover Country. Enterprising folks on social media responded yesterday morning by calling for a boycott of the company. Within hours, management at Wal-Mart announced it was removing the social justice warrior gear from its digital shelves.
Yeah, this probably isn’t going to end well. – In its ongoing efforts to destroy any notion of ethical standards within its operations, management at the fake New York Times announced on Tuesday that Ali Watkins, the reporter who was sleeping with at least two sources on the corrupt Senate Intelligence Committee, has been “reassigned” rather than fired as any organization with any pride would have done weeks ago.
In making this announcement, despicable Times executive editor Dean Baquet said this:
“We are troubled by Ali’s conduct, particularly while she was employed by other news organizations,” said Times executive editor Dean Baquet in an internal memo on Tuesday. “For a reporter to have an intimate relationship with someone he or she covers is unacceptable. It violates our written standards and the norms of journalism. After careful examination and discussion, I have decided to reassign her to a position in New York for a fresh start, where she will be closely supervised and have a senior mentor.”
Given Watkins’ promiscuous past, there are two possible outcomes here: 1) she will soon be involved in an affair with this “senior mentor,” or 2) we will soon see news that this “senior mentor” has been accused of sexual harassment.
Uh, hey, Tom, we know you think that, we agree it’s true, but, uh, we’re not supposed to actually say it in public, mm-kay? – Marxist Democrat National Committee Chairman Tom Perez, in a radio interview on Tuesday, just couldn’t contain his excitement when when host Bill Press asked about last week’s primary victory for a New York congressional seat by 28 year-old socialist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez:
“I have three kids. two of them are daughters. One just graduated college, one who is in college — and they were both texting me about their excitement over Alexandria because she really — she represents the future of our party.”
As always, it’s real news whenever any Democrat leader accidentally admits his or her party is actually just America’s version of the Bolsheviks.
Speaking of stumbling across the truth, Microsoft founder Bill Gates had that experience on Monday when speaking at the Johns Hopkins University School of Advanced International Studies in Washington, D.C.:
“How long people live, the reduction of disease… this period since World War II has been unbelievable – the reduction in violence, the improvement in literacy, the improvement of health is phenomenal,” he said.
“By almost any metric, the world is a far better place today – less violent deaths, less disease, more education – than ever in its history…The world, he said, is “100 times less violent than it was 1,000 years ago – that is, the percentage of deaths that are violent is down dramatically…So if someone has a very negative view of the world, that’s simply not an objective thing.”
Quick, somebody get him over to CNN headquarters to spread that message, since everyone there apparently wakes up each morning believing the world is actually going to hell in a hand basket.
On this special day, if you want to thank the people who are largely responsible for setting the world on its happy course towards the freedom and prosperity that make it a better place to be, give a word of thanks to these 56 men:
John Hancock (president of the Continental Congress), Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry, Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery, Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott, William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris, Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark, Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross, Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean, Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton, George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton, William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn, Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton, Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, and George Walton.
These men were committing treason when they became the signatories to the Declaration of Independence. They did so under the full knowledge and certainty that King George would literally cut off their heads if given the chance. They risked life, limbs and family in the hopes of freeing themselves and their land from the chains of oppression and creating a new and better nation, a nation where liberty and justice would reign in place of undeserving brutes who reigned by some stupid notion of ‘divine rights.”
So, fly your flag, sing the Star Spangled Banner, cook your hot dogs and watch your local fireworks displays, but most of all, take a moment to thank these 56 men who risked everything to give you the freedom to do all those things with your friends and families today. Because without them, Bill Gates would have given an entirely different speech on Monday.
God Bless America.
That is all.
Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon
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