Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
Here’s how you become President for Life in China. – In an effort to crack down on critics of President Xi Jinping, China’s government has recently gone about banning all sorts of things, including:
- Winnie the Pooh (because some have said Xi looks like the famous cartoon character);
- The books “Animal Farm” and “1984” for obvious reasons; and
- The letter “N”, for reasons no one is quite sure about.
Upon seeing this news, liberals all over America had as their first thought, “hey, we could ban the letter “G” so nobody could talk about guns, and the letters “T” and “C” so nobody could ever talk about cutting taxes ever again!” Because that’ is how the liberal mind works. Sure wish China would quit giving these people ideas.
Speaking of liberals, NBC News reports that the housing shortage in Berkeley and other parts of Northern California has become so severe and created rent and home prices so high that liberals are now fighting with fellow liberals on how to address the issue. The ’60s-era hippies who created the problem in the first place by insisting on “slow growth” policies are in their 70s and 80s now. They all have their personal beds made and don’t really see a problem at all. But the younger, Millennial-age hipsters who staff all the Silicon Valley companies want cheaper housing and lower rents, and are pushing for faster growth policies.
This all creates a virtual sitcom-worthy situation of liberals hurling epithets at one another that is always a joy to read and invariably exhibits an extraordinary lack of self-awareness. One 78 year-old hippie says this about the younger contingent: “I think they are a combination of dumb and venal and maybe equal parts of both.” Now, can there be any doubt at all that this woman said this while wearing a Bernie Sanders for President t-shirt and sipping a half-caf, decaf, mocha soy latte?
Meanwhile, a spokesman for the younger contingent fires back with things like “They are the masters of hypocritical progressivism,” no doubt while wearing a Che Guevara cap while sitting in the front seat of a brand new $120,000 Porsche, the payment on which is higher than his rent, but which is a necessary status symbol in the Silicon Valley crowd. Awesome stuff. If Bravo weren’t staffed exclusively by liberals who lack the ability to see the hilarity in this conflict, this would make a great reality TV show. Hey, maybe HGTV could send me and my wife out to California to become the hosts of a new show called Flip or Flop, Berkeley!
All Hope is lost. – Well, White House Communications Director Hope Hicks is lost, anyway. The fourth occupant of the most difficult job in America became the latest to announce her resignation on Wednesday, citing the standard desire to “seek other opportunities.” In the corporate world, this phrase invariably means the person leaving was actually forced out of his or her job. Given all the high praise coming Ms. Hicks’s way from President Trump and Chief of Staff John Kelly, they’re the most likely suspects for having done the forcing.
The fake news media, as it does anytime anyone resigns from the White House Staff, is of course portraying the resignation of the 29 year-old communications person as “the beginning of the end for Donald Trump.” It’s like the 6,000th time we’ve heard that since April 2015, and we can only assume we will hear it 6,000 times more before President Trump is re-elected for a second term in November 2020.
Speaking of President Trump, the guy who every fake reporter in the fake news media keeps telling us wants to silence the press once again invited the press to stay and record every second of a major meeting in the Oval Office conference room on Wednesday. Surrounded by congressional Democrats and Republicans most interested in the gun control debate, the President spent over an hour dominating a back and forth discussion what could and could not be included in a bipartisan bill on the issue, in a scene very reminiscent of an episode of The Apprentice.
Republicans in the meeting did not appreciate being put on the spot by the President on several issues, but hey, these are the same Republicans who have not done a damn thing in 4 months since the Las Vegas massacre about getting rid of bump stocks, despite the NRA’s endorsement for doing so. So it’s kind of hard to have much sympathy for them.
The President, as he tends to do in such settings, indicated support for things he really won’t support at the end of the day – like Dianne Feinstein’s confiscatory bill banning half the guns sold in America today – but he did put people on the spot to get something done, which was the goal of the meeting. In doing so, he also gave the fake news media a level of access that it never had from Barack Obama or any other modern president. But, being the liberals that they all are, it is doubtful anyone in the fake news media has the sense of self-awareness needed to recognize that reality.
Just another day in Congressional Apprentice America.
That is all.
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