Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
- Kurt Schlichter, who has become the most provocative and frankly most enjoyable conservative opinion writer working today, penned a piece on Thursday titled “Politically Correct Hollywood Is Doomed.” In the piece, he hilariously imagines the release of a series of films with politically correct themes and titles like Xe-Day, and Dirty Harriet, in coming years, all of which would miserably fail at the box office. It’s highly recommended reading – it will be five minutes well-invested, trust me.
- Turns out, though, that we don’t need Mr. Schlichter to make up imaginary films that fail miserably at the box office: As the Wall Street Journal points out this morning, Hollywood is already cranking such duds out at an amazing pace, and theater owners are beginning to panic. This summer’s box office take was down 5% compared to 2016, which wasn’t much of a year to brag about, either.
- Of the season’s projected blockbuster action flicks – which included the execrable Johnny Depp slouching through yet another rehash of Pirates of the Caribbean, for crying out loud – only Wonder Woman can be termed a smashing success, as it grossed over half a billion dollars in the U.S. alone. But that female super-hero flick was more than offset by tankers like King Arthur: Clash of Swords (grossed just $39 million on a budget of $175 million) and a horrific remake of The Mummy (grossed just $69 million in the U.S. on a budget of $345 million), which inexplicably starred Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe.
- People in Hollywood appear to be mystified as to why their films aren’t making as much money as they used to, but they’re all morons who have no understanding of any American who lives outside of their tiny bubble, so we should expect nothing else from them. The corporate suits who run the big theater chains appear equally mystified, but again, that thing about morons in bubbles applies.
- Because of that lack of understanding, we can rest assured that Hollywood will continue cranking out action “blockbusters” that no one really wants to see (Like, we really needed yet another remake of The Mummy? Who demanded that?), un-funny comedies whose “humor” trends more towards depravity and disgust with each passing year, and “dramas” that have no relevance to the lives of any American who does not live in Hollywood or New York City. Meanwhile, Hollywood’s real, most obvious problem will go un-addressed.
- What is that obvious problem, you ask? Ok, guess it’s not that obvious after all. Look, the film industry’s most obvious problem is that its major stars can’t keep their silly, dim-witted mouths shut on issues of politics and morality. No American who lives in the 95% of the country outside of Hollywood and Manhattan needs to be lectured about politics by the likes of Meryl Streep. No one out here in flyover country has any desire to take morality advice from Lena Dunham or the mentally deranged Ashley Judd. We neither want nor need nitwits like Will Ferrell or Matt Damon lecturing us on the presidential or congressional races, nor do we desire advice on environmental matters from the likes Leonardo DiCaprio, who has a carbon footprint roughly equal to that of Rome, Italy.
- The constant drumbeat of leftist political claptrap coming out of Hollywood amounts to a withering, unending assault on the sensibilities of half of the American population, perhaps more. You want to know why the Academy Awards ceremony this year had the second-lowest ratings in the program’s history? This is why. You want to know why nobody wants to see Russell Crowe or Tom Cruise in The Mummy? This is a big reason why. You want to know why the ratings for the late night talk shows are a fraction of what they were 30 years ago? This is why.
- The average American wants movie stars to shut up and act, singers to shut up and sing, directors to shut up and direct, script writers to shut up and write, and producers to shut up and produce. But of course, Hollywood is made up almost entirely of desperate, grasping attention-seekers, so that’s never going to happen.
- The inevitable result will be a complete revamping of the Hollywood film industry model in coming years, as the industry continues to become less profitable. A decade from now, all the big box theater chains will be out of business, most if not all films will be immediately available on pay-per-view, and the industry will bear little resemblance to what exists today.
- We don’t need Kurt Schlichter to imagine all of that for us, because it is happening right before our very eyes.
Just another day in Shut Up And Act America.
That is all.