- Hmmmm…lessee here…should we vacation in Hawaii, or North Korea? Costa Rica, or North Korea? Italy, or North Korea? An Alaskan cruise, or North Korea? Vegas, or hey honey, how about North Korea? Boy, this is hard…: The UK Independent reports that a North Korean defector, who claims to have been a corporal in the NK Army, says that The Crazy Little Fat Guy who rules that country has a plan to kidnap tourists if his country is attacked. Seriously? Tourists? We have people who take vacations to that porta-potty of a country? Voluntarily? Who are these people, and should we really be worried about them if they have no better judgment than that? Holy cow.
- Hey, doc. See, I have this, uh, issue, when, you know, I’m…well, I’m trying to, you know…and well, I think I need some…ummm…well, you know what I’m saying here, right?: Speaking of The Crazy Little Fat Guy, his missile program continues its pattern of projectile dysfunction. His much-heralded test launch of an intermediate-range ballistic missile exploded less than five seconds after leaving the launch pad. Deputy National Security Advisor K.T. McFarland was evasive about whether the U.S. government may have had something to do with this latest failure to launch when questioned by Chris Wallace on Fox News Sunday.
- Here at United Airlines, our employees are committed to mishandling any incident in a way that creates maximum reputational damage.: In yet another customer service fiasco, a couple traveling to Costa Rica were kicked off their flight in Houston when they attempted to change seats on a half-empty flight. The couple claims that, when they found their designated seats occupied by a barefooted guy sleeping across the entire row, they decided that, rather than waking him, they would take seats a few rows forward on the plane. Turns out that they had only paid economy fare, and those seats happened to be “economy plus” seats that give you four additional inches of leg room. United charges you a princely sum for those extra four inches, and the couple claims that within two minutes of moving to their new, pricier seats, air marshals showed up and removed the couple from the flight without explanation. For its part, United claims the couple repeatedly ignored the crew’s instructions to move back to economy class, and were disruptive, which sounds like the more realistic scenario. But that doesn’t matter, because the fake news media is reporting the story from the couple’s perspective. The whole point here is that United has to find a way to stop kicking paying customers off its flights and bringing this kind of fire into its own position.
- It would be America’s first “tell-nothing” book.: Long-time companion to The Most Corrupt Woman In America and wife of America’s Most Wanted Pervert, Huma Abedin, is shopping what she’s calling a “tell-all” book to publishers. She’s looking for a $2 million advance to “spill her secrets”. Of course, this is just another Clintonian racket, as Ms. Abedin is still hanging around with Hillary, which means every word in any such book would be vetted, polled and focus-grouped by the Clinton minions. Which of course means that anything that’s actually true would be rejected. Good luck with that.
- Um, well, seems like you might have wanted to figure this out BEFORE you published the piece.: This may be the greatest fake news media story ever. Late last week, the fake editors at the Huffington Post fake news site gave the green light to a guest opinion piece titled “Could It Be Time To Deny White Men The Franchise?” As one might guess, a piece proposing to deny the vote to white men (seriously, how racist and sexist can one be?) in America generated a great deal of controversy, but the HuffPo fake editors held firm and even publicly defended the piece and its author. But then, on Sunday, the piece was removed from the HuffPo site. The fake Huffpo editors did release a statement that hilariously reads, in part “We have done this because the blog submission from an individual who called herself Shelley Garland, who claimed to be an MA student at UCT, cannot be traced and appears not to exist.” #Fakenews, defined.
Just another Easter weekend in fake news America.
That is all.
- Happy Tax Day! Oh, wait, that’s Monday. No, wait, Monday’s a holiday for people in Washington DC for some reason (I don’t care what it is, so don’t tell me), so Tax Day is actually next Tuesday. That gives me three more full days to file my annual 6-month extension of time to file. Cool!
- Liawatha prepping to go on warpath.: Elizabeth Warren, the Fake Indian Senator from Massachusetts, is releasing a book. Aren’t you thrilled? The theme of the book is basically, “Why I didn’t run for president in 2016.” Which means the fake Indian, without any question at all, is going to run for president in 2020. Notably, pre-sales for the book have been dismal, which could be a reflection of her current polling numbers in her home state. Hey, maybe even in Massachusetts, one can only run a very public fraud for so long.
- Who, me? Oh, pshaw.: Meanwhile, UN Ambassador Nikki Haley told an interviewer that she “can’t imagine running for president.” That means she is definitely running for president whenever the chance presents itself, and given the way she’s doing her job at the UN, that would probably not be a bad thing.
- It’s not our job to tell both sides…well, unless we agree with the liar.: ABC’s fake journalist and life-long Clinton sycophant George Stephanopolous, in a panel discussion on Friday, said it is not the fake news media’s job to report both sides of a story, and that it should in fact silence anyone who does not “accept reality.” Interestingly, he was not asked by the moderator why, given his belief, he spent years as the press spokesman for the nation’s first pathologically lying sociopath president. Nor was he asked why he didn’t act to silence Susan Rice when she spent half an hour on his Sunday morning fake news show in September 2012 blaming the assault on the U.S. embassy in Benghazi on an Internet video. Nor was he asked why he didn’t act to silence Barack Obama when he claimed his administration didn’t spy on fake journalists just like him. Nor was he asked why he didn’t act to silence Hillary Clinton when she claimed she didn’t know anything about the illegal email server she used for four years. Funny how these panel discussions work.
- Is this kind of content really why people subscribe to the Financial Times?: Unendingly obnoxious minor celebrity Lena Dunham told an interviewer with the Financial Times that Hillary Clinton’s loss was “heartbreaking” for her. I know, I know, you’re as sick of hearing about Lena Dunham’s bed-wetting over the election outcome as I am. But this blurb just made me think, why in the hell is the Financial Times interviewing Lena Dunham? Seriously.
- Here at Wellesley, the beatings will continue until you love us.: The student newspaper at Wellesley College came right out and admitted the truth about its fascist goals, publishing an op-ed that advocates violence against those who don’t conform to whatever the school’s progressive/fascist majority believes. “[I]f people are given the resources to learn and either continue to speak hate speech or refuse to adapt their beliefs, then hostility may be warranted,” the piece said. Funny, that’s sort of how I feel about anyone who still thinks Hillary Clinton isn’t a pathologically lying scumbag. It’s the progressive/fascist in me coming out, I guess.
Just another Good Friday in Trump Derangement Syndrome America.
That is all.
Illustration Credit: Fireandreamitchell.com
- Now you know why his statement was so carefully worded.: I pointed out in Tuesday’s update that our bi-polar FBI Director’s “denial” of “wiretapping” allegations contained in President Trump’s tweets was very specific and extremely carefully worded to specifically only “deny” the exact wording contained in the tweets. Thus, Mr. Comey’s statement only “denied” that he was in possession of any evidence that “Obama” had “wire-tapped” “Trump Tower.” Nothing more. Yesterday, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes (R-CA) demonstrated why, revealing that he had uncovered information proving that then-President-elect Trump and his transition team were indeed spied upon by the Obama Administration, between election day and the inauguration. Mr. Comey obviously showed up to that hearing on Monday determined to reveal only information that might be harmful to the President, and to withhold anything helpful to him.
- Because some folks just need firing.: If Mr. Comey had any credibility prior to Monday, it is now gone. A new poll released on Wednesday by Harvard-Harris shows that the nation’s highest-ranking law enforcement officer is viewed favorably by just 17% of registered voters, an approval rating so low that it rivals that of the fake news media. The poll finds that Mr. Comey is viewed favorably by only 12% of Democrats, and a still-pitiful 26% of Republicans. Given that the poll’s sample was taken prior to Monday’s hearing, it’s a safe bet that ranking among Republicans will have fallen off precipitously by now. Familiarity breeds contempt, and the American public has become entirely too familiar with its FBI Director over the last year and a half. Enough.
- Breaking: Ol’ Bug Eyes is upset. Film at 11.: The Intel Committee’s ranking Democrat, the bug-eyed Adam Schiff, did his best to put lipstick on his party’s latest smelly pig, tossing out an array of hastily-prepared talking points for the fake media to parrot, but the pig perseveres nonetheless. We know now that we had an out-going presidential administration surveiling an incoming presidential transition team, and there is no way you can pretty that fact up. We also now know that the FBI is refusing to cooperate with the Intel Committee’s effort to investigate this matter. So it is what it is, and what it is is a big ol’ fat pig. And we can bet there is more yet to come on this front.
- Because that’s what the Fake News Media does.: The fake reporters, fake analysts, and fake anchors across the fake news media naturally did their best to toss cold water on Rep. Nunes’ allegations, but no matter how hard they try to support their Democrat benefactors, the fake media cannot escape the reality that all Nunes’ information does is confirm the accuracy of this report from the Jan. 19 edition of the NY Times. The key paragraph of that report is here:
The F.B.I. is leading the investigations, aided by the National Security Agency, the C.I.A. and the Treasury Department’s financial crimes unit. The investigators have accelerated their efforts in recent weeks but have found no conclusive evidence of wrongdoing, the officials said. One official said intelligence reports based on some of the wiretapped communications had been provided to the White House.
- Remember, that was Jan. 19, and the “White House” that passage refers to was the Obama White House. That report by the NY Times was re-published by hundreds of its fellow fake news media outlets, including CNN, MSNBC, all three major networks, and pretty much every major daily newspaper in this country. Thus, despite their whole Claude Rains “I am shocked, shocked!” acts today, they all have already admitted that Trump’s tweets were true. They’re hoping you will all forget that reality, and honestly, most Democrats either will or already have.
- Still don’t think this is a serious problem for Democrats?: You don’t have to believe me – I give you Bob Woodward, on Wednesday’s Bill O’Reilly program: “If (what Nunes says) is true, the unmasking of U.S. civilians would be a gross violation…a felony.” He goes on: “You had people in the Obama administration passing around highly classified gossip.” Mr. Woodward is as DC establishment as DC establishment gets, and does not have a history of making such assertions lightly. Ask Richard Nixon.
- Was it poverty? Poor parenting? All those Gilligan’s Island re-runs? The heartbreak of psoriasis?: The perpetrator of the Islamic terrorist attack in London yesterday has been identified as well-known ‘hate-preacher’ Abu Izzadeen. The fake reporters, fake analysts and fake anchors throughout the fake news media will now spend weeks in a vain attempt to figure out what this poor man’s motivation could have possibly been. CNN will never figure it all out. Because that’s what the fake news media does.
- Chelsea Clinton just keeps on winning, for no discernible reason.: Great news, everybody! Chelsea Clinton, the achievement-devoid, 37 year-old daughter of The Most Corrupt Couple in America, is now going to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award, and nobody really knows why! Isn’t that great? Aren’t you all thrilled? Wait…what? Yes, Sweet, Sweet Chelsea, fresh off the heels of being given a lucrative seat on Expedia’s Board of Directors, despite an utter lack of any accomplishment or skillset for that job, is now being honored by The Lifetime Network for her lifetime achievement in the field of…ummmm… wellllllll….er,….oh yeah, “public service”. See, in between getting paid about $600k a few years back by NBC for doing about three TV interviews – including one very memorable gabfest with the Geico Gekko – and having the unsuspecting donors to her family’s fake “Foundation” foot the bill for her million dollar wedding to a now-failed hedge fund hustler, Chelsea apparently spent about ten minutes on something called “The Alliance For A Healthier Generation”, although no one knew anything about that until now. Funny how that works, but only if your name is Clinton.
- Some things never change.: Meanwhile, every Democrat on the Senate Judiciary Committee continued to make asses of themselves, twisting themselves into pretzels of illogic in their fruitless questioning of Supreme Court Nominee Judge John Gorsuch. Gorsuch has proved to be the most capable nominee any GOP president has put forth in modern times, answering each and every idiotic question so completely, likeably and unassailably that his pathetic opponents are left with no means of countering them. If there aren’t enough Democrats who are still conscientious enough to break a filibuster against this nomination, then the Party is well and truly doomed to die. There is literally no legitimate grounds to oppose this man’s nomination. None.
Just another day in Trump Derangement Syndrome America.
That is all.
- And don’t even get them started about Belle…: Social Justice Warriors all across the interwebs tossed a fit over the weekend about the trailer for the new Wonder Woman flick. Their latest source of perpetual outrage derives from the ghastly fact that Wonder Woman – gasp! – has no armpit hair! Oh, the humanity! I swear I don’t make this stuff up.
- Note to self: Time to start using Trivago…: Based on no merit whatsoever, Expedia announced late last week that the newest member of its Board of Directors is…wait for it…wait for it…Chelsea Clinton! The company’s management gave no justification for this appointment – which will net the talent-less younger Clinton $45k in cash and $250k in stock each year – other than presumably Chelsea’s famous last name. For the uninitiated, corporations normally seek out professionals who have demonstrated expertise in the business world for seats on their Boards, because the role of the directors is to ensure the company’s management isn’t making god-awful decisions, like naming Chelsea Clinton to sit on the board of directors.
- Progressive “logic” at work: The fake news outlet The Hill published a fake op/ed by fake opinionists Lisa Graves and Arn Pearson titled, “Trump may not last a year, his Supreme Court shouldn’t last generations.” The main thesis of the piece is that Barack Obama had higher poll ratings when he nominated Merrick Garland to fill the Supreme Court’s vacant seat than Donald Trump enjoys today; thus, Neil Gorsuch should not be confirmed. I’m not kidding -read the piece here.
- Ok, all you progressive suckers get your wallets out, ’cause Mama needs money!: The Most Corrupt Woman In America announced on Saturday that she is “ready to come out of the woods” in order to “help bring people together.” This is Clinton code speak for “our fake foundation has fallen apart now that we don’t have any influence to sell, so I’ve got to find a new racket, and I can’t do that sitting in my living room in Chappaqua.”
- And speaking of suckers…: …how about all those saps who worked so hard for Bernie Sanders’ campaign last year, under the thought that he was an advocate for “the little guy”? Since making a deal with The Most Corrupt Woman to cancel his presidential campaign, Bernie has cashed in admirably. Over the weekend, he closed on a nice $600k beach house – which the fake news media uniformly referred to as “modest” – which means he now owns no fewer than three homes, something that only a handful of his Bolshevik heroes managed to achieve.
- He also has pro-Constitution leanings, which are totally disqualifying.: Circa News reports that Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee “plan to grill” Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch “on his pro-corporate leanings” when his confirmation hearing begins this morning. The Democrats’ (as is always the case) faulty reasoning is that “He expresses a lot of empathy and sympathy for the less powerful, but when it comes time to rule, when the chips are down, far too often he sides with the powerful few,” according to Cryin’ Chuckie Schumer. See, in the mind of the perpetually aggrieved Democrats, the job of a federal judge is not to interpret the law based on the text of statutes and the Constitution, it is to issue rulings base on the relative needs of the plaintiff vs. the defendant. Which explains why an Obama-appointed federal judge in Hawaii issued a stay on President Trump’s travel ban based not on the law, but on the judge’s concern that someone might have their feelings hurt. This is American liberalism in a nutshell.
Just another day in Trump Derangement Syndrome America.
That is all.
- Don’t let the door hit you in your…well, you know the rest. – It took longer than we would have liked, but Attorney General Jeff Sessions requested the resignations of all 46 remaining Obama-era U.S. Attorneys on Friday. There are 94 U.S. Attorneys in total, which means that 48 had already chosen to do the right thing without having to be asked. It is not clear whether Sessions will accept all 46 resignations, assuming all the leftovers have the good grace to comply with his request, but we can be sure that the vast majority will be gone soon. Failing to take this action upon assuming office was one of the single biggest errors in judgment George W. Bush made, as many of the Clinton holdovers did everything they could to undermine his Justice Department and administration. Good to see President Trump and the Attorney General are clear-eyed in the need to clean out this particular sector of the DC swamp. Cool.
- Wait…she said what??? – When it comes to the expression of rank hypocrisy in the most blatant manner possible, San Fran Nan Pelosi never disappoints. On Friday, Ms. Pelosi, famous for telling constituents during the ObamaCare debates in 2009 that “We must pass the bill in order to see what’s in it”, sent a letter to House Speaker Paul Ryan in which she said, in part “The American people and Members have a right to know the full impact of this legislation before any vote in Committee or by the whole House.” While that is certainly fair and valid point for the Democrats to make, they chose the most unfortunate messenger possible to make it. But then again, what else is new where the Democrats are concerned? I mean, who were they going to get to do it – Maxine Waters, who thinks Russia is at war with Korea? Let’s face it, the pickings are pretty slim over there on that side of the aisle.
- Here’s an example of why they had to go with San Fran Nan – Our favorite Commie, the loser Bernie Sanders, was quoted as saying “We have lost the White House, the U.S. House, the U.S. Senate, almost two-thirds of the governors’ chairs and close to 900 legislative seats across this country. How can anyone not conclude that the Democratic agenda and approach has been a failure?” See, to the Democrats, dealing with issues in the most hypocritical manner possible is far preferable than having to stare that sort of reality in the face. The rest of us should encourage them to keep up the good work.
- We needed a study to tell us this? Really? – Heat Street reported on Friday that “A new study by the Wesleyan Media Project has found that the 2016 presidential campaign run by Hillary Clinton is without a doubt one of the worst-run political operations in years.” Man, we could have saved these guys a whole bunch of money on that study deal. That’s like conducting a study to determine whether or not Russia really is at war with Korea. If you don’t already know the answer, why would anyone take you seriously in any event?
Just another day in Trump Derangement Syndrome America.
That is all.
- Wait. Is that even possible? – Two New York University professors recently ran an experiment that yielded shocking results. They organized a mock replay of the first debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, only they had the debaters’ genders reversed. Their goal was to demonstrate that Trump’s conduct in the debate would have been completely unacceptable coming from a woman. Instead, what they demonstrated was that Hillary Clinton would be even less popular than she already is if she were a man instead. “We both thought that the inversion would confirm our liberal assumption—that no one would have accepted Trump’s behavior from a woman, and that the male Clinton would seem like the much stronger candidate,” one of the profs explained. Yeah…no.
- But hey, they’re working 9 days in May, so… – House Speaker Paul Ryan, in an interview with Tucker Carlson Wednesday evening, acknowledged that the House is planning to only be in session for 8 days during the month of April. When asked why that is the case, Speaker Ryan responded that “we want to go listen to our constituents.” Oh, yeah, that’s a peachy idea – go spend 22 days back in the district holding townhalls so Soros-funded radicals can give the fake news media hours of video with which to make you look like a bunch of ineffective simpletons. Great plan, Republicans. (This is me, smacking my damn head.)
- I was going to let that topic go at that, but I just can’t. – Look, somebody has to get to the Speaker and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and remind them that barely a year ago, the Republicans in the congress were the single most detested class of politicians in America. Even more than the Democrats or President Barack Obama, they were the main reason why millions of people out here in “flyover country” were furious at the elitists Washington DC ruling class. They were bailed out of that predicament temporarily by the rise and ultimate victory of Donald Trump over The Most Corrupt Woman in America, but that doesn’t mean that Americans detest them any less than they did a year ago. If this congress continues on its current path of accomplishing literally none of the major promises they all made during their campaigns, they will suffer mightily at the polls in 2018, regardless of how disgracefully the Democrats continue to behave. And that retribution will be richly deserved. It might be wise for the GOP congress to spend more time in DC getting real things done, and less time trying to deflect blame for their own non-performance. Just a thought.
- The GOP Congressional Motto: Always Look a Gift Horse In The Mouth – Two new polls out on Thursday show massive, huge majorities of Americans are in favor of President Trump’s proposal for a $1 trillion infrastructure program. A poll by Quinnipiac shows a surreal 90% support level for the proposal, while a new CNN poll comes in with a comparatively-paltry 79% support level. If you’re thinking this level of popularity makes this program a completely no-brainer for the GOP majorities in congress to get behind and easily pass into law, well, you need to bone up on the behavior of GOP congressional majorities. Their main aptitude has always been and appears to still be their amazing ability to screw up when presented with easy wins. There is no real reason to expect this particular easy winner to turn out any differently.
- You don’t say… – The fake news site BuzzFeed, which has shamelessly promoted the absurdly fake “Trump coordinated with the Russians” story for months now, quietly ran a report in which it quotes Democrat sources on the House and Senate Intelligence Committees expressing concerns that their ridiculous investigations into this fake matter are going nowhere fast. “I don’t think the conclusions are going to meet people’s expectations,” one of the sources said. Well, let’s clarify – they aren’t going to meet the expectations of the Democrats and the fake media reporters who have so shamefully promoted this fake story since last October, but they are going to exactly meet the expectations held by me and many, many others.
- Ironically, she is still her political party’s highest-ranking official. – San Fran Nan Pelosi, the Democrats’ doddering House Minority Leader, was in the middle of yet another incoherent anti-Trump rant yesterday, when she paused, after saying the word “ironically”, and said, “I’m not sure if ‘ironically’ is even a word.” Ironically, none of the fake reporters present thought to clarify that question for her. Probably none of them knew the answer. #Irony
Just another day in fake news media America.
That is all.
- That uncomfortable moment when the #climatefraud chickens come home to roost – The Wall Street Journal reports that the secessionist future nation of California has had so much rain this year (hey, whatever happened to that “permanent drought” all the global warming nutjobs claimed the state would never get out of?) that the state has now run out of space in which to store water. Californians can thank Democrats and their benefactors in the environmental movement, who have run the state for the last 40 years, and during that time, prevented the state from building a single new water surface reservoir. The really dangerous part of all of this is that the state has had record snowfall up in the mountains this winter, and that snow is just now beginning to melt. “And Noah said there will come a great flood.” Can’t wait to see President Trump’s response when Jerry Brown comes begging for money again in a few weeks to bail him out of a situation he did so much to help create.
- What, me worry? – Failed campaign manager for the Most Corrupt Woman in America Robby Mook was on Fox and Friends this morning talking about the growing Obama/Trump wiretapping scandal. While all other Democrats are uniformly calling for the Justice Department to appoint a special counsel to investigate the case, I couldn’t help noticing that Mr. Mook wanted no part of any such thing, specifically calling instead for “bi-partisan congressional committees” to handle the investigation. The reason is obvious: Mr. Mook and Ms. Corrupt Woman want no part of a real investigation into any of this, and they know they can rely on Democrats on those congressional committees to stonewall any investigation that delves into what the Corrupt Woman and her evil minions knew about all of this, and more importantly, when they knew it.
- Hey, with all the journalistic fakery going on around him, what’s a guy to do? – The Washington Post has been giving us fake reporters, fake editors and fake op/ed writers for many years, but yesterday it was revealed – not by the WaPo, but the NY Daily News – that the fake newspaper is now branching out into giving us fake ICE agents. Itai Ozderman, identified only as a “tech worker” at the WaPo, was arrested a month ago for impersonating an ICE agent in the state of Virginia multiple times, even to the point of trying to enforce criminal laws. No word if the managers at the WaPo plan to promote Mr. Ozderman and give him a raise, as they do with all their fake journalists whenever they’re caught faking the news.
- Hey, remember that Ben Hur remake? Let’s re-make yet another movie nobody will want to go see! – The geniuses out in Hollywood announced yesterday that Steven Spielberg will direct a new film that re-tells the story of Daniel Ellsberg, the leaker of the Pentagon Papers during the Nixon years. The film will star Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks, and will show the “vital role of the press in keeping government honest,” a role the press uniformly surrendered back in 2008. The film will very predictably tank miserably at the box office. Because that’s what an intellectually bankrupt film-making community does these days.
Just another day in fake news media America.
That is all.