Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
- If we didn’t have Democrats, we’d have to make them up. – Ok, I swear I didn’t make this up. It’s a real story. The far, far, far, far left wing of the far, far leftwing California Democratic Party is mounting a recall effort on their own Assembly Speaker because…wait for it…he isn’t far, far, far, far leftwing enough for them. Wait, you say, Speaker Anthony Rendon is as far, far, far leftwing as it gets, right? Well, no. See, he needed to add one more “far” to that total of “fars”, and ram through a completely unworkable proposal to implement single-payer healthcare in the Golden State, a bill that would have utterly bankrupted the state’s treasury within a few years. Of course, the leftist nitwits who pushed this bill and are now taking out their frustrations on the Speaker figure that when the money runs out in their own state, they’ll just petition the federal government to force taxpayers from the 49 other states to pay for their ruinous policies. It’s the California way, after all.
- Hey, can we get that whole CalExit deal moving along a little faster? – Speaking of the insanity that is California, CA Congressman Lou Correa is so unhinged that he now displays a painting of the Statue of Liberty wearing Muslim garb in his congressional office. This isn’t political thought, this is mental illness. But then, California is the state that gives us Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters, so, just par for the course, really.
- At long last, this is what you’re sorry for having done? – Caitlyn Jenner apologized to her dozens of fans for having been photographed wearing a “Make America Great Again” cap. Of all the millions of things Caitlyn Jenner owes an apology for, wearing a cap of any kind is not among them.
- Well, that’s a damn shame. – Reuters reports that the Justice Department is not looking to charge journalists for knowingly releasing leaked classified information to the public. Because no Republican can be counted on to do the right thing anymore. Sad!
- I am shocked, shocked to see temperatures falling in Australia! – I reported a couple of weeks ago about the scandal in Australia over the Bureau of Meteorology’s (BOM) effort to “revise” the national temperature data there to invent “global warming” where none is occurring. Graham Lloyd at The Australian is now reporting that, now that BOM has been caught and forced to properly record actual temperature data rather than make it all up, temperatures Down Under are suddenly plummeting. Go figure. No one could have seen that coming!
- Let the good times roll…or float… – Big news yesterday in New Orleans as heavy rains there overwhelmed the city’s utterly inadequate pumping system that is supposed to drain rain water off of city streets. While the Times Picayune reported this as if it were some rare occurrence, I have personally been in New Orleans three times in the last 20 years in which the same thing happened. And no, there weren’t any hurricanes coming through at those times. The simple fact of the matter is that New Orleans – which I love – is 11 feet below sea level on average, and when it rains heavily, the streets are gonna flood. This is not news, this is an inevitability.
- Wait. Is this question serious? Really??? – The mental midgets at Newsweek ran a piece with the following breathless headline: “WHY ARE MOST POLITICIANS WHITE 52 YEARS AFTER THE VOTING RIGHTS ACT WAS SIGNED INTO LAW?” Ummmmm…lessee here….hey, could it be because most people in America are white, even 52 years later? Now we know why Newsweek exists only in bandwidth. My goodness.
Just another day in praying for CalExit America.
That is all.
Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
- Boy, what a difference a few tweets makes, huh? After President Trump had gone after his thus far lackluster performance in office, Attorney General Jeff Sessions suddenly woke up, displaying a sudden new focus on things that actually matter. Just a few hours after the President’s latest tweet storm, federal agents arrested the chief IT specialist for ex-DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schulz, Imran Awan, as he was attempting to flee the country through Dulles International Airport. The FBI also announced it has seized a set of “smashed hard drives” that Awan had left behind at his home. Mr. Anwan had also worked for several other Democrat congressional members in addition to Rep. Schulz. Nice to see the Justice Department focusing on bringing really bad people to justice rather than ensuring that rural sheriffs get to keep and drive the Maserati’s and speedboats they confiscate from arrested drug dealers.
- Later in the day, a “source” at the Justice Department told The Washington Post that the Attorney General plans to make a public progress report in the next few days about several ongoing investigations into criminal leaks containing classified information that have been regularly emanating from various government intelligence agencies since President Trump assumed office. If you think this “source” didn’t give that information to the Post at the request of the AG, you might be naive.
- And finally, late in the afternoon, the AG announced a tough new policy that would deny Justice Department grant funds to cities that refuse to cooperate with immigration officials tasked with enforcing the country’s immigration laws. Such grants would now only go “to cities and states that comply with federal law, allow federal immigration access to detention facilities, and provide 48 hours notice before they release an illegal alien wanted by federal authorities.”
- Who knows? Maybe the AG’s sudden new focus on stuff that actually matters instead of who might be smoking pot in downtown Denver will actually save his job. It’s a damn shame it took a public berating from the POTUS to refocus his attention.
- So you’re sayin’ there’s still a chance! – Great news, everybody! The so-called “Cal-Exit” movement that hopes to take California out of the USA is still alive! The Sacramento Bee reports that the California secession movement was given the go-ahead by the state’s Attorney General to begin collecting the required 585,000 signatures to get the initiative placed on the 2018 ballot. Sadly, the signatures must come from residents of California; otherwise, I would already be on a plane out to the Golden State to add my name to the list. But I and millions of other non-Californians will always be behind this noble effort in spirit.
- After Vice President Pence had cast the deciding vote allowing the debate to begin on the Obamacare Repeal and Replace effort in the U.S. Senate, Senate Republicans who had been promising to repeal Obamacare for seven long years had the chance later in the evening to vote in favor of an amendment that would do exactly that. Nine Republicans, including eight who had voted to repeal Obamacare in the past, refused to do so last night, now that they have a president who would actually sign such a bill. Those eight Republicans are Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, Rand Paul of Kentucky, Bob Corker of Tennessee, Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, Dean Heller of Nevada, Jerry Moran of Kansas, Tom Cotton of Arkansas and Mike Lee of Utah. Susan Collins also voted against the amendment, but Sen. Collins has always been a reliable Democrat vote on healthcare issues, and never voted to repeal Obamacare while Obama was President. The other eight have no excuse.
- Speaking of Senator Collins. her aides need to exercise a little more control over her gabby mouth when she’s on a hot mic. Yesterday it was revealed in various news reports that she said all sorts of goofy and nasty things while in that situation on Monday, including referring to Texas Congressman Blake Farenthold as being “fat” and “so unattractive it’s unbelievable.” After her uncharitable remarks about Congressman Farenthold’s appearance were made public, the fake Republican Senator from Maine issued a terse apology.
- Speaking of fake Republicans, Sen. From The News Media John McCain made his way back onto the Senate floor despite having had surgery for a brain tumor last week. There he made a rousing speech in which he blamed the lack of progress in the U.S. Senate on…wait for it…wait for it…talk radio. I swear I don’t make this stuff up. Who could?
Just another day in fake Republicans are everywhere America.
That is all.
Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)
- The whole “CalExit” secession movement might be dead for the time being, but California’s radical leftist political class remains intent on separating their state from the rest of the U.S. in every way imaginable. Despite being so near insolvency that Governor Jerry Brown has had to beg the federal government for massive monetary assistance no fewer than four times during the first half of 2017, the state’s Attorney General, the execrable Xavier Becerra, announced on Friday that he was adding four more states to California’s own travel ban. This travel ban prevents state employees from traveling to other states in the union which have implemented policies with which California’s lunatic public officials don’t agree. The ban list now applies to 8 states, including Texas, which sets up an interesting test case when football season begins in September. San Jose State is currently scheduled to travel to Austin that month to get its collective ass whipped by the Texas Longhorns. The problem here is that the Spartans’ coaching staff are all state employees. It will be interesting to see how the team fares, playing a game against a superior opponent with no coaches on the sideline.
- In other lamebrain California policymaker news, the Democrat plan to implement a Canadian-style single-payer healthcare system was finally pulled by the Assembly Speaker on Friday, ending a farce everyone knew was doomed to fail. Seems it’s kind of hard for a state that already sports a massive annual budget deficit to come up with the $400 billion it would take to fund such a system on an annual basis. Yes, that’s “Billion” – it’s not a typo.
- Finally, Democrats in Los Angeles are considering a proposal to re-name Rodeo Drive “Barack Obama Boulevard”. You know Rodeo Drive, right – that famous street where preening leftwing hucksters sell gaudy, over-hyped products for insanely high prices? Hey, sounds just like ObamaCare! How fitting is that?
- The University of Texas and the Texas Tribune released a new poll pretending to show Donald Trump is highly unpopular in the Lone Star State. The poll doesn’t make its sampling method public, but it does break down its findings between Republicans, Democrats and Independents. Doing a little extrapolating seems to show that the pollsters surveyed more Democrats than they did Republicans. This would have been an appropriate sample breakdown in 1990, the last time Democrats dominated an election in Texas. The last time the voters of Texas elected a single Democrat in a statewide election was 1994. Just another #fakepoll. Sad to see it coming from UT.
- Meanwhile, in our nation’s capital, the Democrats’ “Russia Collusion” fantasy play has become so toxic to voters that many Democrat members of congress are banding together to try to force San Fran Nan, Cryin’ Chuckie Schumer and the rest of the Democrat congressional leadership to stop even talking about it. These Democrats actually want and expect their leaders to talk about real issues instead. Hilarious. That’s like expecting your dog to quit eating its own vomit. Not gonna happen.
Just another day in lunatic Democrat America.
That is all.
- Say it ain’t so, Joe!: Your author is officially in mourning this morning, because the CalExit movement is dead. Yes, friends, the noble effort to free our country from the state that sends an unending stream of nitwits to infest the U.S. Congress is no more. The plug was pulled by organizers on Monday because it was revealed that the founder of the movement, some guy named Louis Marinelli, actually lives in…wait for it…RUSSIA!!!!! I swear I don’t make this stuff up. If I could make stuff like this up, I would be a fabulously wealthy novelist.
- A mind is a terrible thing to lose.: Speaking of nitwit members of congress from the Golden State, California congresswoman Maxine Waters told a fake interviewer with MSNBC that she had never called for the impeachment of President Donald Trump. That statement came just a day after she had promised an audience during a speech that she will do everything she can to impeach the President, and just moments after she had issued a Tweet that said “The President is a liar, his actions are contemptible, & I’m going to fight everyday until he’s impeached.” Again, I swear I don’t make this stuff up.
- I mean, like, it paid for my million dollar wedding, so it’s like, totally awesome.: Chelsea Clinton, the dimwitted daughter of The Most Corrupt Woman in America, told an interviewer that people “just don’t understand” how fabulous the Clinton Foundation really is. She also said she is “definitely not interested” in running for political office, so she’s got that traditional Clinton bald-faced lying tactic down to a T.
- This either does or doesn’t explain a lot.: Netflix announced that, from 2015 through early this year, its users had spent more than 500 million hours streaming films starring Adam Sandler. Every political observer from all corners of the ideological spectrum believes this explains what is wrong with those on the other side.
- Yes, it’s a side benefit of mass starvation.: A British former Olympian and candidate for Parliament told an interviewer that regardless of what else one thinks about North Korea, they really have got a “handle” on that whole obesity thing. He later apologized on Twitter.
- Can’t wait to see what Maxine Waters does with this one.: Don’t look now, but the Democrat Party has obviously obtained polling data that indicates they can gain votes from Millenials by cussing. And so we are now treated to the spectacle of Democrat members of congress and party leaders going around the country cussing at their audiences. Yesterday, Democrat National Committee Chairman Tom Perez told his audience that “Republicans don’t give a sh*t about people,” and “[Republicans] call it a skinny budget, I call it a sh*tty budget.” God help us if the Democrats ever obtain polling data that says they can attract pervert voters by campaigning in the nude. Nobody needs to see Chuck Schumer implementing that particular tactic.
Just another day in Democrat ****ing America.
That is all.
- Great idea – where do we go to pitch in?: Don’t look now (ok, go ahead and look), but Nigel Farage and Aaron Banks, who led the whole “Brexit” effort to a successful conclusion, have now turned their attention to support for the “Calexit” effort. Well, except that it’s not really the “Calexit” effort we’ve been hearing about – you know, the one that would blessedly remove the entire state of California from the United States of America. No, the effort for which Farage and Banks have successfully raised about a million bucks is a plan that would split the Golden State down the middle from north to south, leaving an inevitably Democrat-dominated state on the coast, and an inland state in which Republicans would most likely dominate. While not as pleasing as the real “Calexit”, the Farage/Banks plan (CalSplitzit?) would have the happy effect of diluting California’s impact in presidential politics, and likely add two more Republicans to the Senate. However, the one big drawback is that the CalSplitzit plan would relegate Napa Valley and its fabulous wines to the tyranny of the Marxist state into which West California would inevitably devolve. Still, any outcome that dilutes the influence of West coast lefties is a good plan for America. Sign me up!
- Hey, ABC keeps out-faking us – whadda we gonna do?: Management at NBC/MSNBC obviously became worried their news was just not fake enough last week, so they decided to hire former Obama White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest as a new political contributor. Thus Mr. Earnest follows in the #FakeNews footsteps of George Stephanopoulous, who pretends to be a news anchor on rival ABC. Who can doubt that Mr. Earnest will be pretending to host his own fake news program in the very near future?
- The Dumbest Thing You Will Read This Week. Promise.: Speaking of fake journalists, fake reporter Norm Ornstein has a new piece in The Atlantic in which he proposes that all these allegations – for which we still have yet to see a single, solitary bit of real evidence – that the Russians and Trump campaign coordinated during the past election mean that we simply must change the rules for presidential succession. This piece is so breathtakingly devoid of solid reasoning or journalistic ethics that it simply must be read to be believed, so follow the link above if you dare.
- Can highway funds be far behind?: Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced on Monday that sanctuary cities will soon be cut off from receiving any and all of their current funding from the Justice Department. This is what is commonly known as “a good start.”
- If you have another explanation, please let me know.: The New York Post reported over the weekend that Hillary Clinton’s long-time companion Huma Abedin is supposedly going to give her pervert husband, Anthony Weiner, another chance to make their “marriage” work. Weiner is currently under investigation for having inappropriate relations with a minor, among many other things, and Huma reportedly remains in potential legal jeopardy due to her long association with The Most Corrupt Woman in America. In case you haven’t figured it out already, the obvious reason for these two habitual offenders to remain married is so that they can preserve the right to claim “spousal immunity” in each other’s eventual prosecutions. Not exactly brain surgery.
- She blames the Russians.: In other news, a woman was arrested for the second time since Election Day for attempting to jump the fence at the White House. Can somebody please get Hillary Clinton under control?
Just another day in CalSplitzit America.
That is all.