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Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 3.21.2017

  • He obviously believes in the old saying, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of narrow minds.”:  Our bi-polar FBI Director, James Comey, offered testimony yesterday before the House Intelligence Committee.  In his testimony, he offered the following very carefully worded statement:  “With respect to the president’s tweets about alleged wiretapping directed at him by the prior administration, I have no information that supports those tweets.”  That statement, of course, has been reported loud and long by every fake outlet of the fake news media.  But, true to his bi-polar nature, Mr. Comey went on to say that his initial statement does not preclude the possibility that “other surveillance methods” were used against Trump and his staff, both before and after the election.  That statement, of course, has been roundly ignored by pretty much every fake outlet of the fake news media.  Mr. Comey may have bi-polar issues, but the fake news media is purely single-minded.
  • Wait…what?:  The most hilarious part of Mr. Comey’s entire five hours on the stand came when he accused the Russians of attempting to “sow chaos…and instability” in the U.S. electoral process.  Given his own multiple gratuitous interventions into the U.S. election process during 2016, one can only wonder what it is that Mr. Comey sees when he peers into his no-doubt bi-focal bathroom mirror each morning.
  • Another poster child for term limits on display.:  On the other end of Capitol Hill, the confirmation hearing for Judge Neil Gorsuch began before the Senate Judiciary Committee, which includes luminaries like Democrat Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy, who has been on the Committee for so long he actually helped organize the “high tech lynching” of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.  In his opening remarks, Sen. Leahy said “Senate Republicans made a big show last year about respecting the voice of the American people in this process.  Now they’re arguing that the Senate should rubber-stamp their nominees selected by extreme interest groups and nominated by a president who lost the popular vote by nearly 3 million votes.”  Sen. Leahy and his fellow senate Ds were so appalled by Judge Gorsuch’s “extremism” that the unanimously voted to confirm him the U.S. Court of Appeals when he was nominated by President George W. Bush.
  • This is the only possible explanation for their silence on the matter.:  In his own opening statement, Judge Gorsuch remarked that “ours is a judiciary of honest black polyester.”  Perpetually-aggrieved snowflakes everywhere no doubt puzzled over this remark, confused about whether to attack the Judge for being a racist, or a supporter of evil big oil companies, since polyester is derived from petroleum products.
  • Meanwhile, out there in the Twitterverse…:  Social Justice Warriors went crazy on Twitter when KitchenAid introduced a new line of small kitchen appliances that were painted a bright magenta color.  SJWs immediately went on the attack, within minutes coming up with the hashtag “#EverydaySexism” as their moniker for their assault on the manufacturer.  What these perpetually-aggrieved nincompoops failed to notice is that KitchenAid introduced these appliances as their means of raising awareness about breast cancer, and is donating a portion of every sale to Breast Cancer Haven, a non-profit organization in the UK.  D’oh!

Just another day in bi-polar America.

That is all.

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Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 3.20.2017

  • And don’t even get them started about Belle…:  Social Justice Warriors all across the interwebs tossed a fit over the weekend about the trailer for the new Wonder Woman flick.  Their latest source of perpetual outrage derives from the ghastly fact that Wonder Woman – gasp! – has no armpit hair!  Oh, the humanity!  I swear I don’t make this stuff up.
  • Note to self:  Time to start using Trivago…:  Based on no merit whatsoever, Expedia announced late last week that the newest member of its Board of Directors is…wait for it…wait for it…Chelsea Clinton!  The company’s management gave no justification for this appointment – which will net the talent-less younger Clinton $45k in cash and $250k in stock each year – other than presumably Chelsea’s famous last name.  For the uninitiated, corporations normally seek out professionals who have demonstrated expertise in the business world for seats on their Boards, because the role of the directors is to ensure the company’s management isn’t making god-awful decisions, like naming Chelsea Clinton to sit on the board of directors.
  • Progressive “logic” at work:  The fake news outlet The Hill published a fake op/ed by fake opinionists Lisa Graves and Arn Pearson titled, “Trump may not last a year, his Supreme Court shouldn’t last generations.”  The main thesis of the piece is that Barack Obama had higher poll ratings when he nominated Merrick Garland to fill the Supreme Court’s vacant seat than Donald Trump enjoys today; thus, Neil Gorsuch should not be confirmed.  I’m not kidding -read the piece here.
  • Ok, all you progressive suckers get your wallets out, ’cause Mama needs money!:  The Most Corrupt Woman In America announced on Saturday that she is “ready to come out of the woods” in order to “help bring people together.”  This is Clinton code speak for “our fake foundation has fallen apart now that we don’t have any influence to sell, so I’ve got to find a new racket, and I can’t do that sitting in my living room in Chappaqua.”
  • And speaking of suckers…:  …how about all those saps who worked so hard for Bernie Sanders’ campaign last year, under the thought that he was an advocate for “the little guy”?  Since making a deal with The Most Corrupt Woman to cancel his presidential campaign, Bernie has cashed in admirably.  Over the weekend, he closed on a nice $600k beach house – which the fake news media uniformly referred to as “modest” – which means he now owns no fewer than three homes, something that only a handful of his Bolshevik heroes managed to achieve.
  • He also has pro-Constitution leanings, which are totally disqualifying.:  Circa News reports that Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee “plan to grill” Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch “on his pro-corporate leanings” when his confirmation hearing begins this morning.  The Democrats’ (as is always the case) faulty reasoning is that “He expresses a lot of empathy and sympathy for the less powerful, but when it comes time to rule, when the chips are down, far too often he sides with the powerful few,” according to Cryin’ Chuckie Schumer.  See, in the mind of the perpetually aggrieved Democrats, the job of a federal judge is not to interpret the law based on the text of statutes and the Constitution, it is to issue rulings base on the relative needs of the plaintiff vs. the defendant.  Which explains why an Obama-appointed federal judge in Hawaii issued a stay on President Trump’s travel ban based not on the law, but on the judge’s concern that someone might have their feelings hurt.  This is American liberalism in a nutshell.

Just another day in Trump Derangement Syndrome America.

That is all.

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Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 3.18.2017

  • Hey, Angie, how ’bout paying your bills?:  President Trump met with Angela Merkel on Friday, in what observers described as a “tense” meeting.  Gosh, wonder why?  Reportedly, the President pressed the German Chancellor about the need for her wealthy country to actually pay its dues to NATO, which it has been under-paying for basically as long as that organization has existed.  Shockingly, the Chancellor announced during their joint presser afterwards that she is now suddenly committed to doing that.  Turns out, somebody just had to ask.  Or more likely, demand, which would explain the “tenseness”.
  • Of course, “safe” is a matter of perspective.:  Also during the presser, Ms. Merkel laughably claimed that her policy of rampant open borders has made the European Union safe.  As if on cue, a radical Islamic terrorists went on a shooting rampage in the Paris airport.
  • That noise you heard around noon Friday was fake reporters heads exploding all across the fake news media:  Finally, President Trump got a big laugh during the presser when he tripled-down on his claim that Trump Tower was wire-tapped during the campaign, stating that being wire-tapped by the Obama Administration gave him “something in common” with Chancellor Merkel, who was also famously wire-tapped by the evil Obama minions, a truth the fake media has gone out of its way to forget.
  • Google lost hundreds of UK clients yesterday as a result of its ongoing policy of allowing rank anti-Semitic videos to remain active on YouTube.  This happens because Google is owned and run by progressives, and progressives are all about Antisemitism these days.  Sad but true.
  • Hey, remember when the Secret Service was this crack team of impenetrable security?:  Yeah, those days are long gone.  Yesterday, a SS agent in New York City had his laptop stolen when he left it unattended in the seat of his car.  The laptop reportedly contained the floor plans to Trump Tower, along with information about the criminal investigation of The Most Corrupt Woman in America.  Later on Friday, we learned that the fence-jumper who was arrested on the White House grounds last week had actually been roaming around inside the “security” fence for 17 minutes before the SS even realized he was there.  If you’re not worried about the President’s safety, you should reconsider.

Just another day in Trump Derangement Syndrome America.

That is all.

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Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 3.17.2017

  • Campus Stupidity of the Week:  Goes to Harvard University, where officials announced yesterday that they are eliminating the term “freshman” – because, you know, it has “man” in it – and replacing it with the far more PC term, “first year”.  As if this action weren’t stupid enough, Harvard’s leadership admitted that they had been fretting about what to do about this awful injustice “for years.” Really?  With all the education-related issues going on in America these days, this is what you spend “years” worrying about?  I swear I don’t make this stuff up.
  • Entertainment Media Stupidity of the Week:  Goes to Netflix, which, in the wake of bad comic Amy Schumer’s new special receiving almost nothing but 1-star reviews from dissatisfied viewers, is now changing its on-line reviews to only allow “thumbs-up” or “thumbs-down” ratings.  Presumably, they will change the system again after Ms. Schumer’s next not-funny-at-all special receives nothing but “thumbs-down” reviews.  Because that’s what idiots do.
  • Fake News Media Stupidity of the Week:  Goes of course to MSNBC fake host Rachel Maddow, who spent an hour on her show Tuesday night accidentally letting America know what an outstanding taxpayer President Donald Trump happens to be.  Compounding her problem, Ms. Maddow then blamed her problem on her viewers, who she said tuned in the show with “unrealistic expectations.”  It’s a safe bet many of those viewers won’t be making that mistake with her program again.
  • Congressional Stupidity of the Week:  Goes to the news media’s favorite U.S. senator, Cranky Old John McCain, who has decided that anyone who opposes anything he wants to see done is nothing but a tool of Russian leader Vladimir Putin.  Spending far too many years in the nation’s capital dealing with liberals, whose favorite tactic is to pick a boogeyman to frighten the public with and refer to that boogeyman at any given opportunity, has obviously rubbed off on the Senator From the News Media.  Thanks to the short-attention-span voters of Arizona, he’s not going anywhere for six long years.
  • Conventional Wisdom Stupidity of the Week:  Goes to all those “experts” in the fake news media telling us that President Trump’s administration is in a “death spiral” (I must have heard this phrase uttered a dozen times this week) due to his low public approval ratings in all the fake polls.  Let’s all take a breath and remember that these are the very same “experts” who were wrong about literally everything during the presidential election campaign, and who obviously have learned absolutely nothing about Donald Trump from that experience.  Anyone who paid attention for the last 20 months knows that, when it comes to President Trump, the DC “conventional wisdom” is pretty much always wrong.

Just another day in Trump Derangement Syndrome America.

That is all.

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Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 3.16.2017

  • The Poster Child for congressional term limits goes completely off the rails.: Senator From the News Media John McCain went all “hey you kids, get off my lawn!” on Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul on Wednesday, accusing Sen. Paul of “working for Vladimir Putin” on the floor of the Senate.  Sen. McCain’s latest crotchety temper tantrum came over a vote about letting Montenegro join NATO, a move to which Sen. Paul objects because he knows the U.S. will end up paying most of what the tiny country should pay to be in the organization.  Sen. McCain apparently believes the mighty armed forces of Montenegro – which consist of 3 guys carrying M-1 carbines – are all that stand between the free world and domination by the all-powerful Russian dictator.  Sadly, the voters of Arizona chose just last November to give the 80 year-old McCain yet another 6 year free pass to pursue his obvious goal of involving the U.S. in a shooting war with Russia.
  • That’s some fast typing right there.: An activist federal judge in Hawaii issued a stay on enforcement of President Trump’s latest temporary travel ban, despite the President’s clear and unambiguous authority to restrict immigration into the U.S. on any basis he sees fit.  Demonstrating the utter lack of any integrity whatsoever in his action, the judge issued a 43 page decision within 2 hours of hearing oral arguments in the case.  Apparently, he just happened to be carrying around a pre-written decision for exactly this case in the pocket of his robe.  The federal judiciary is now filled with blatant seditionists.
  • They found common ground at a truck stop in Shreveport.:  Texas Congressmen Will Hurd (R) and Beto O’Rourke (D) found themselves stranded at the San Antonio airport on Tuesday, their flight to DC having been cancelled by the “blizzard” that didn’t actually show up.  They decided to rent a car and make the 30 hour drive together, and live-streamed the whole thing on Facebook.  Not sure why I’m including this here, other than it’s pretty damn cool.
  • Is there nothing “global warming” cannot do?:  A University of New Hampshire professor – no doubt funded by a federal grant – has come up with a new angle on global warming alarmism.  She released a report yesterday predicting that the all-knowing, all-powerful “global warming” is shrinking mammals, and will soon cause horses to be no bigger can your average house cat.  Presumably “global warming” will also result in “fire and brimstone raining down from the sky.  Forty years of darkness!  Earthquakes, volcanoes…the dead rising from the grave!  Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together…mass hysteria!”
  • His home is scheduled for a Soros-funded fire-bombing this Saturday.:  74 year-old radio talk show host Michael Savage just released a book about the Trump presidency titled “Trump’s War:  The Battle For America”.  Naturally, he was beaten up by a deranged social justice warrior at an Italian restaurant Tuesday night.  This is what Democrats refer to as “dialogue”.

Just another day in Trump Derangement Syndrome America.

That is all.

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Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 3.15.2017

  • Honestly, I’m not sure even congressional Republicans can screw this one up.:  Congressional Democrats, after having spent the last 20 years squealing like stuck pigs about what a sacrilege it is whenever the Republicans have caused about 14% of the federal government to be shut down in a budget or debt ceiling fight, are now threatening to fight funding for President Trump’s border wall by …wait for it…wait for it…SHUTTING DOWN THE DAMN GOVERNMENT!  The proper GOP response to this threat is possibly the single biggest no-brainer in the history of the Republic:  Please, go right ahead!
  • Hey, whatever happened that Jill Stein?:   Isn’t she a pistol?  Do you think we could run her down and see if she’d do a recount of the CBO score on the Republican plan to repeal and replace ObamaCare?  Her results would be just as valid.
  • Tired of Winning Yet?  Part I.:  Foreign Policy magazine reports that President Trump has instructed the State Department to find ways to cut U.S. support for the various worthless United Nations programs by 50%.  Naturally, country club Republicans like Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham have already stated they would oppose such cuts.  Note:  If you’re from Kentucky or South Carolina, you need to pay better attention.
  • Tired of Winning Yet?  Part II:  Foreign Policy also reports that Secretary of State Rex Tillerson threatened that the U.S. might well withdraw from the detestable UN Human Rights council unless it enacts “major reforms.”  Awesome.
  • Further, cats and dogs on campus must now be referred to as “lovable furry companions”, and shrubs and trees are now to be called “leafy green shade-givers.”:  Officials at the University of Minnesota announced that the school would be dropping the terms “Homecoming Queen” and “Homecoming King”, and replacing them instead with the gender neutral “Royals”.   Because, well, – let’s be honest here – the officials at the University of Minnesota are a bunch of spineless idiots who are complicit in turning their students’ minds into useless mush.  There, I said it.
  • That’s also why they took up smoking.:  More than 8,000 airline flights destined to or from the northeastern states were cancelled on Tuesday, all because the folks at the National Weather Service (NWS) are incapable of forecasting the weather more than 8 hours in advance.  Making matters worse, NWS officials admitted they actually suspected in advance that snowfalls would not hit the major cities like they had previously thought, but decided to stick with their more alarmist forecasts “out of extreme caution.”  I swear, I SWEAR I don’t make this stuff up.
  • The Twitter-verse went all…ummm…a-twitter yesterday around 7:00 when fake MSNBC host Rachel Maddow Tweeted out that she had obtained “Trump tax returns”, and would reveal them on her program at 8:00.  The big reveal?  It turns out that, in 2005, Mr. Trump paid $38 million in income tax on $150 million in income.  To which most thinking people responded, “man, sure wish I had the chance to to pay $38 million in income tax, just one time.”  After that “big reveal”, the Twitter-verse went all…ummm…a-twitter about how embarrassing it all was for Rachel Maddow.

Just another day in Trump Derangement Syndrome America.

That is all.

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Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 3.14.2017

  • Wooing practice begins at 9:00 sharp, Madam Chancellor.:  The blizzard bearing down on Washington DC caused German Chancellor Angela Merkel, whose open borders policies are in the process of utterly destroying her country’s native culture, to postpone her planned meeting with President Trump today.  But whenever they do meet, Der Spiegel reports that the Chancellor is “planning woo Trump, rather than confront him” over his plans to enforce America’s immigration laws.  Somehow, I don’t think Ms. Merkel will find a very receptive audience for this strategy.  Might be best to postpone this meeting until a better approach can be devised.  Like invading Poland, for example.
  • MSNBC will no doubt soon be offering him his own prime time talk show.:  The irresponsible nitwits who run Austin’s SXSW drunk-and-traffic-fest provided a platform for the debut of an absurdly plotted “documentary” by a Michael Moore disciple named Jason Pollock, which claims to reveal ‘new evidence’ in the Michael Brown case.  Despite the easily-discerned fact the film is an abject work of fiction that reveals nothing but the dishonesty of the filmmaker and incredible gullibility of its audience, riots very predictably broke out in Ferguson, MO.  This gave the talking heads at CNN something to talk about other than President Trump, so I guess we should be grateful for that.
  • Yes, in the same sense that a lion loves a zebra.:  Speaking of SXSW, the comical fake editor of the NY Times, Dean Baquet, told an audience there that President Trump “actually loves the New York Times.”  Such fake hubris is fake unbecoming of you, Mr. fake editor.
  • How many different positions will James Comey take on this?  The over/under is currently 3.:  Snoop Dog released a video in which he pretends to shoot President Trump.  Predictably, there is no outrage coming from the fake news media in response.  Imagine how Martha Raddatz or Jake Tapper would have responded if a high-profile artist had released such a video when Barack Obama was President.  Your fake news media in action.
  • Last week they were all claiming the then-unseasonably warm temperatures were due to “global warming.”:  A major blizzard blew into the northeastern seaboard last night, and will blanket everywhere from Washington, DC through Maine with a major late-season snow.  Climate frauds everywhere are blaming this very common periodic occurrence on…wait for it…wait for it… “climate change”.  Because that’s what climate frauds do.
  • Yes, because the Tea Party uprising was a truly organic occurrence, and everything the left is doing is utterly fake.  See the difference here?:  The interminably dense fake journalists who inhabit Nate Silver’s 538.c0m blog published an hilariously dimwitted piece titled, “The Left Might Have a Hard Time Replicating The Tea Party’s Success”.  You don’t say….

Just another day in Fake News Media America.

That is all.

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Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 3.13.2017

  • That moment when one fake news outlet attacks another fake news outlet, as reported by yet another fake news outlet.  This is getting extremely fake-complicated.:  Dean Baquet, the fake editor of the fakest fakety fakey fake Newspaper of Record, the New York Times, got all sassy regarding the fake news competition yesterday.  He told an interviewer with another fake news outlet – The Hill – that the new slogan adopted by the Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in the Dark”, “sounds like the next Batman movie.”  Oooooh, burn!
  • Hey, could we just scrap that whole college degree requirement while we’re at it?:  The Associated Press reports that New York teachers’ unions are demanding that the state scrap a basic literacy test that is given to prospective public school teachers.  The test is similar to tests that these teachers would be giving to their students.  The reason they want to do away with the test is so predictably pathetic it would make a normal person (i.e., not a Democrat politician or fake news media employee) cry:  too many prospective teachers are failing the test.  No one could have ever seen that one coming.
  • The Senator From The News Media’s blood sugar was low again on Sunday.:  Arizona Senator John McCain continued his campaign to maximize this appearances on MSNBC and CNN, telling an interviewer on Sunday that he is demanding President Trump prove his claim that Trump Tower was wiretapped by the Obama Administration.  “The president has one of two choices, either retract, or to provide the information that the American people deserve,” McCain said.  That single sentence will net the cranky Senator two eight-minute segments with Chris Matthews on MSNBC’s “Hardball”.  No word if CNN is considering simply making McCain the host of a nightly hour-long program in its failing prime-time lineup, but it should be.
  • Just one more thing for the Senator from the news media to get cranky about.:  The Washington Post reports that the budget submitted to congress later this month by President Trump (I never get tired of typing those words) will contain “historic cuts” in the federal work force.  Of course, the fake news reporters who wrote the story fail to mention the fact the historic increases in the federal work force created during eight years of Barack Obama.  In any event, we can expect to see hundreds of fake sob stories from the fake media as it mounts a coordinated campaign with the Democrats to make sure that each and every federal worker keeps his or her job in the coming weeks.  Because acting as the propaganda wing of the Democratic Party is what the fake news media does.

Just another day in fake news media America.

That is all.

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Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 3.12.2017

  • Next time someone asks for your resignation, you say YES! – Preet Bharara, one of the few holdover U.S. attorneys who has been a stalwart opponent of the rampant corruption that infested the Justice Department during the Obama Administration, was fired late Saturday after he refused to assent to Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ request of all holdover U.S. attorneys to turn in letters of resignation.  Bharara’s resignation may or may not have been accepted by AG Sessions, but his refusal to follow a request from his boss left Sessions little choice but can him.  Mr. Bharara obviously believed he had gained a status that made him immune to the chain of command.  The President just disabused him of that notion.
  • Proof that even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every now and then. – Shortly after Bharara’s firing, CNN fake anchor Jake Tapper sent out a Tweet that stated, “Acting deputy Attorney General Dana Boente just called US Attorney Preet Bharara and told him President Trump was firing him.”  It was the first non-fake news Mr. Tapper has reported since 2015.
  • Very predictably, he hails from California. – Some guy named Jonathan Tuan Tran was arrested on the White House grounds after jumping the perimeter fence.  Mr. Tran – who told arresting officers he was in possession of secret information about “Russian Hackers” – was carrying a laptop, a book written by the President and a letter to Mr. Trump at the time of his arrest.  He also told the officers he was a friend of President Trump, and had an appointment.  The Secret Service begged to differ.
  • Tired of winning yet? – Speaking of California, the LA Times reports that, in the Golden State alone, almost 100 construction firms have lined up to try to get a piece of the business for building President Trump’s proposed border wall.  Establishment elitists and fake reporters who view everything through a political lens are shocked.  Normal people aren’t.

Just another day in Trump Derangement Syndrome America.

That is all.

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