- It’s Day 2 of the Great 14% Government Shutdown of 2018. Believe it or not, the sun is still going to rise in the East, promise. Your kids still get to go to school. Your TV and internet services are still going to function, so you’ll still get to watch all those people on CNN and MSNBC – and hell, even Shepherd Smith on Fox News – lie about the news all day long. Your junk mail will still be delivered by the U.S. Postal Service, and your real mail will still arrive via UPS, Federal Express, or your email in-box. If you have a social security check due to day, it will be there. If you need Medicare or Medicaid benefits, you’ll still get them. All of these “essential” government services and more will chug right along as if nothing has happened.
- But over at CNN, the world is coming to an end. Yes, friends, if you live the fantasy world created by the fake news reporters and fake news editors and fake news cameramen who work for this fakest news outlet in the entire fake news universe, you’re living in the belief this morning that shutting down 14% of the federal government means that a big, nasty asteroid is heading right towards the earth, and WE’RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!
- No kidding, fake reporter Tom Foreman breathlessly told CNN’s audience that, the last time there was a 14% shutdown, “…NASA stopped monitoring potentially dangerous asteroids. A big one, by the way, is expected to brush by Earth on February 4th.” I swear I didn’t make that up.
- Now, for those of you who are rushing to hide in your nearest nuclear bomb shelter after reading that, hang loose for a second while I do a simple Google search on “asteroid near earth February 4.” Ok, wait a sec….there it is. First article headline that comes up is “No, an Asteroid is Not Going to Collide With Earth in February.” See how that works? Turns out this asteroid is going to cross earth’s orbit on Feb. 4, but at a distance of 2.6 MILLION MILES, which is more than 10 times the distance from the Earth to the Moon. So, nothing to see here, folks, all is well. It’s just that CNN’s fake reporters apparently do not have access to Google. Go figure.
- Hello, Speaker Ryan? This is Christopher Wray. Um, the dog ate my homework. – The FBI informed congress over the weekend that what is ostensibly our nation’s top, numero uno, bestest of all the best law enforcement agencies has had a computer “glitch” and “lost” five months worth of texts between deep state FBI agent Peter Strzok and his illicit lover, deep state DOJ lawyer Lisa Page. That five month period began on December 14, 2016, the date that the fake news media began pushing the false narrative that Vladimir Putin personally ordered the hacking of the DNC computers in mid-2016. [Update: the deletions by the FBI of the Strzok/Page texts ended on May 17, 2017, the day that Robert Mueller was appointed to become Special Counsel by Rod Rosenstein.] If you think that’s just a coincidence and the “loss” of all these texts is really just a computer glitch, well, you probably also believe an asteroid is going to end the Earth on Feb. 4, so there’s not much anyone can do for you at this point.
- So now we know why FBI Director Christopher Wray and Deputy AG Rod Rosenstein rushed to meet with Speaker Paul Ryan on January 3 to beg him not to force them to release all the documentation on the fake Russia Collusion “investigation” to the House Intelligence Committee, a demand they had been stonewalling since last August. They obviously did not want the Committee to have access to these texts, so these texts magically got “lost”, just like 30,000 Hillary Clinton emails magically were “erased.”
- I say “magically” because, if you know anything about how texts and emails are retained, you know that such messages are not easily “lost” or “erased.” In fact, it is almost impossible to make such records disappear completely. Even when you think you’ve erased them from a server, for instance, they are really not gone, and experts can almost always go in and retrieve them. Text messages aren’t just magically kept on your personal I-Phone, ok? They are retained on multiple media in multiple locations. No “glitch” is going to cause them to be “lost” from all of those different media.
- Oh, stuff like this does happen on episodes of 24, but this is not 24, this is real life. In real life, those text messages are still out there somewhere, just like Hillary Clinton’s 30,000 deleted emails were out there and eventually “found” by the FBI once that agency thought the scandal had safely passed from the public’s memory. If the FBI can’t “find” these texts, someone should suggest to House Intel Committee Chairman Devin Nunes that there are at least a million young men aged 20 to 35 living in their grandmothers’ basements who need work, and who, if you put them on the job and provided them with 64 oz. Cherry Slurpees and bags of nacho cheese Doritos, could most likely retrieve those texts before this day is over.
- Meanwhile, here’s a thought: Last year, the Trump Administration cancelled the FBI’s Obama-era plans to spend billions of taxpayer dollars on a fancy new headquarters building, on the pretense that the J. Edgar Hoover building is inadequate. Given the disgraceful corruption displayed by the FBI’s senior leadership during the last five years, utter and complete corruption that appears not to have changed in any real way under Director Wray, why not give them a new headquarters, say, in Leavenworth, Kansas? It would certainly be fitting.
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