Al Franken Makes Life Really Hard For The Fake Media Moralists

Today’s Campaign Update

  • In real news, the U.S. House of Representatives passed the first major reform of the U.S. tax code in 31 years on Thursday.  *Yawn*
  • Ok, now to the fake news!  Isn’t it just so much fun watching as the same Democrats and fake journalists who have been calling for Roy Moore’s head for the last week twist themselves into logical pretzels finding rationales for Al Franken to keep his seat in the U.S. Senate?  A.B. Stoddard made a complete fool of herself on Franken’s behalf last night on the Fox Report panel, saying that well, Franken apologized and Ms. Tweeden said she doesn’t want him to resign, so, you know, it all ok.  She then hastily claimed “But I’m not defending Franken!” as her fellow panelists visibly snickered.
  • I didn’t d…wait, you have pictures?  Ok, well, yeah, I did that. – Yeah, Franken apologized for fondling Lee Ann Tweeden’s breasts while she slept.  Of course, the only reason he did even that is because…wait for it… we have a photo of Al Franken fondling Lee Ann Tweeden’s breasts while she slept!  Note to A.B.:  When faced with photographic proof of the act, the breast-fondler doesn’t really have much choice, does he?
  • When a fondle isn’t a fondle. – Stoddard and Franken’s other myriad fake media defenders – one NBC fake reporter even hilariously claimed that what he did “wasn’t really a fondle” – ignore the fact that the Minnesota Senator and SNL refugee denied forcibly french kissing Ms. Tweeden against her will and simply did not address her claims that he continued to harass her for the remainder of the USO tour they were on.
  • You made these rules, now live with them. – Look, liberals, we either have standards of behavior for senators or we don’t.  The women accusing these men are either to be believed, or they aren’t.  You don’t get to pick and choose depending on the party affiliation of the politician in question.  I think Roy Moore is a very, very weird dude who probably did some of the things he’s being accused of – there’s just too much smoke there for there not to be a fire.  But as long as Al Franken remains a member of the U.S. Senate, all you lefties just have to shut up now about Roy Moore.  Because that’s how this stuff works.
  • Like cockroaches creeping out from under the baseboards – Meanwhile, a bunch of liberals in the fake news media and in politics have suddenly gotten a conscience about their defense of a serial woman abuser named Bill Clinton for the last 25 years, and have been penning op-eds and giving interviews all week saying that hey, was it wrong for us to do that?  Are there rules against exposing yourself to and raping women over whom you hold power?  Gosh, if only we knew that then.
  • Of course, what is really going on here is that Bill Clinton – and his repugnant wife, Princess Pantsuit – have lost their political usefulness to all these liberals, so now they find it safe to suddenly realize that yep, rape is wrong, even when it’s committed by a President who likes abortion on demand.
  • So, hey all you liberals, it’s nice to see you finally admitting what I’ve been writing since 1992 – that your hero is a sleazebag who belongs in prison – but waiting until 2017 to publicly admit what you’ve really known about him all along, does not grant you absolution for the quarter century you spent defending him and assaulting the women he spent his adult life abusing.  Sorry, but that’s just not how this stuff works.
  • I don’t think ‘muzzle-loader’ means what they think it means. – The Washington Free Beacon reports that Americans For Responsible Solutions – the gun ban group run by former congresswoman Gabby Giffords – now wants to take away your…wait for it…MUZZLE LOADERS!  Yes, the friendly gun grabbers at ARS have decided that that 300 year-old musket that has been passed down in your family through the last 12 generations is “especially dangerous” because it fires a big bullet.
  • Someone really ought to let Ms. Giffords and her evil minions know that there are families of 58 victims of the recent mass killings in Las Vegas and 26 victims in Texas who wish to goodness the monsters who mowed down their loved ones had been armed with muzzle-loading, single shot rifles made during the War of 1812.  I swear I don’t make this stuff up.  Seriously, who could?

Just another day in liberal double standards America.

That is all.

Follow me on Twitter at @GDBlackmon

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