Great News, Republicans! Hillary Clinton Is Back!

Today’s Campaign Update

(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

  • Great news, Republicans!  Hillary Clinton, the Most Corrupt Woman in America, still refuses to go quietly into that good night.  Over the weekend, she was letting it be known to any idiot who still listens to her – which includes the majority of the voter base for the Democrat Party – that she plans to take a “major role” in killing…errrr, ummm…”helping” Democrat congressional candidates get slaughtered by….errrrr, ummmm….”defeat” Republicans and turn enough GOP districts to regain control of the House of Representatives.  (Boy, it was hard to type that with a straight face.)
  • Yes, friends, the very worst, least appealing presidential candidate in modern history, the woman who made Walter Mondale look like a campaigning stud by comparison, the candidate who had no message, no strategy and no ability to bring competent leadership into her own presidential campaign, has decided that she is just the gal to bring her tiny minority, regional political party back to majority status in Washington.  (Hey, maybe she’ll find time to go to Wisconsin this time!)  All I want to know is, how can I help to ensure that this utterly corrupt, clueless wretch of a human being takes the lead role in planning her failed party’s comeback?  It would be my honor.
  • Hey, as great as it is to have Hillary Clinton back in the news, it’s even better these days when the name James Comey rears its ugly head in news stories, which it did over the weekend.  The Hill reports that more than half of Mr. Comey’s famous leaked “private” memos about his encounters with President Trump contain – wait for it….wait for it…. – CLASSIFIED INFORMATION!  Remember when Mr. Comey called Hillary Clinton “extremely careless” in her handling of classified information?  Yeah…good times…good times…
  • Speaking of Democrats, they and their agents in the fake news media continued to ramp up their growing War on Women over the weekend.  The party that has embraced Sharia Law, men in middle school girls’ locker rooms and bathrooms, and the unfettered character assassination of any woman who serves in the Trump Administration, turned its collective sights – wait, that’s a gun analogy, and we all know Democrats hate guns – turned its collective character assassination machine on First Daughter Ivanka Trump over the weekend.  Her sin?  She sat in for the President for about 20 minutes during a G20 meeting when Mr. Trump had to leave a bit early for one of his many bi-lateral meetings during the event.  Since the discussion at hand was about a topic she has taken the lead on within the Administration, the move was completely appropriate, and no different than what every other G20 nation does during such meetings.  Naturally, ABC News filed a breathless fake report claiming Ms. Trump had “broken protocol” – an outright lie – and pretty much every other fake news outlet followed suit.
  • The attacks on Ivanka by Democrats in and out of the fake media were so absurd that German Chancellor Angela Merkel – no fan of the Trumps – weighed in, assuring everyone that, as host of the meeting, it was her decision who would sit in for the various leaders in various meetings.  Why do Democrats and fake journalists hate women?  It’s a very legitimate question to ask these days.
  • If you want to see something absolutely hilarious and truly frightening all in one, go watch this video.  It’s from an “Impeach Trump March” held in Chicago on July 2 by Antifa and other groups who pretend to be “anti-fascist.”  Watch as these “anti-fascists”, who are really nothing more than budding Nazis, cheer repeatedly as the speaker gives a talk that is made up almost entirely of quotes from speeches by – wait for it….wait for it…. – ADOLPH HITLER!  The best part is that one of the rally’s organizers was so impressed with the speaker that, when he was finished, he tried to recruit him to become involved with his “anti-fascist” group.  No really, I swear I don’t make this stuff up.  Seriously.

Just another day in clueless fascists America.

That is all.