Democrats’ New Plan: Flipping Their Birds Back To Power

Today’s Campaign Update

(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

  • The greatest show on earth has a new home.:  After 146 years of providing continuous entertainment to America, Ringling Brothers Circus held its final show over the weekend.  No worries – the Campaign circus in Washington, DC never ends, so the masses will continue to be entertained whether we like it or not.
  • Cussing their way back into power, two middle fingers at a time.:  At the increasingly profane Democrat Party’s annual convention in California, the 84 year-old outgoing state party chairman, some guy named John Burton, closed out the proceedings by sticking both middle fingers in the air and leading gleeful party members in the chant of “F*** Donald Trump!  F*** Donald Trump!”  The fake national news media largely ignored the incident.  Try to imagine the fake media outrage that would ensue if a state GOP party chair led a GOP convention in a chant of “F*** Barack Obama!”, or “F*** Hillary Clinton!”  Anderson Cooper would be so outraged he might “take a dump on his desk.”
  • Perhaps there is hope for the future after all.:  Several dozen Notre Dame graduates walked out of a commencement address as it was being delivered by Indiana native son Mike Pence, the Vice President of the United States.  To their undying credit, many of the students who remained jeered at the emotionally-stunted children as they left the arena.
  • Hey, Mom!  I’m home!  Probably for good!:  Meanwhile, MarketWatch reports that the percentage of post-college age Millenials living with their parents has reached an all-time high.  All over America today, thousands more are leaving their college towns of choice, loaded down with tens of thousands of dollars of debt they incurred in order to get their degrees in useless majors, to add to that total.  Obviously, dozens of such graduates left South Bend, Indiana yesterday.
  • Meanwhile, in the realm of winning…:  The tone of U.S. foreign policy has certainly changed.  President Donald Trump spent the entire weekend in the Middle East, and didn’t utter a single apology to anyone, didn’t bow to any foreign leader, and neither his wife nor his daughter donned a head scarf.  And rather than employing pop psychology to dummy up reasons to blame Western democracies for being the cause of atrocities committed by Islamic terrorists, President Trump instead implored Arab leaders to “drive them out” of their countries and wipe them off the face of the earth.
  • They also think spaghetti with marinara sauce is exactly the same thing as mac ‘n cheese.:  When President Trump had to bow slightly when a shorter Saudi ruler awarded him a medal of honor, CNN and other fake news media outlets rushed to claim it was exactly, precisely the same thing as Barack Obama’s habit of bowing every time he greeted any Arab leader.  Which is exactly what any thinking person should expect from the fake news media.
  • His sense of self-awareness could use a little work.:  Speaking of Barack Obama, he gave a speech in Milan, Italy on this beliefs about how the all-knowing, all-powerful “Climate Change” is in fact responsible for literally everything bad that ever happens, blaming the entire problem on carbon dioxide (i.e., plant food) created by mankind.  To get to Milan, the former POTUS flew in a private jet, and then drove to the venue from the airport in a 13-car, gasoline-fueled motorcade, thus leaving him with a carbon footprint roughly equal to that created by the Island of Madagascar on a daily basis.

Just another day in Climate Change is a religion America.

That is all.

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