Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 5.3.2017

  • If he worked at Fox, he’d be fired for blatant homophobia.:  Stephen Colbert, the un-funny late night host on CBS, targeted President Trump with an obscene homophobic slur during his un-funny monologue Monday evening.  Many observers questioned whether this meets CBS’s standards, and why the Federal Communications Commission remained silent on this clear violation of broadcast television rules, forgetting, of course, that CBS no longer has any standards and the FCC rules – like all other rules of civil discourse in our society – no longer exist after eight years of Barack Obama and his utter corruption of every nook and cranny of the federal government.
  • If the manure is still steaming, it still stinks.  Trust me.:  The Trump Administration and congressional Republicans did their best on Tuesday to defend the smelly pile of horse manure (it’s ok to say that under FCC rules) that they are calling a “budget deal”.  It didn’t work.  The pile of manure still smells.  Sorry, it just does.
  • She really knows how to cheer Republicans up.:  But no matter how awful this budget bill is, The Most Corrupt Woman In America reminded us how much more awful it could have been with a very timely interview with the fawning fake reporter Christian Amanpour.  After saying she takes “full responsibility” for the horrible campaign she ran in 2016, The Most Corrupt Woman then went on to blame everyone else on earth for her loss.  The woman really is incapable of uttering a true statement in public.  She also touted the book she is writing about the campaign, describing the process as “incredibly painful.”  Because uttering a few dozen lies in public comes very easy, but having to make up 80,000 words worth of lies is, like, hard.
  • Can we get Dennis Rodman to moderate the discussion?:  President Trump stated on Monday that he would meet with the Crazy Little Fat Guy who runs North Korea “under the right circumstances.”  On Tuesday, fake journalists who thought it was fantastic when Barack Obama said exactly the same things about evil dictators in Iran and other despotic countries went all tsk-tsk on this President.  Why?  Because that’s what they do.
  • Our news here at CNN is not just fake, it’s really, really fake.:  CNN has become so transparently and proudly fake that it is now refusing to run Republican ads on its channel.  After CNN refused to run a GOP ad touting the President’s many achievements during his first 100 days in office, President Trump tweeted the ad out and it went viral across social media platforms.  How long can it be before CNN decides to designate May or June or some other month as Fake News Pride Month?
  • That uncomfortable moment when you’re asked a question for which you have no good answer.:  CEOs of four of the nation’s airlines, including United’s incredibly incompetent Oscar Munoz, were called to testify before the House Transportation Committee.  Predictably, it did not go well.  California Republican Duncan Hunter summed the entire hearing up in a single sentence when he asked Munoz, “Why do you hate the American people?”  It’s a good question.
  • We here at the United Nations like to just joke around sometimes.:  Yesterday, Saudi Arabia was granted a seat on the United Nations’ worthless Women’s Rights Committee, and that’s pretty much all you need to know about the United Nations.
  • The writer also forgets that this President owns his own jumbo jet.:  HeatStreet ran with an article with the headline “Donald Trump Calls For A Shutdown That Could Kill His Mar-a-Lago Trips.”  Yeah…no.  The writer forgets that a government “shutdown” only shuts down non-essential services, which do not include the Secret Service or Air Force One.

Just another day in Everything is Fake America, even the government shutdowns.

That is all.