Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 4.4.2017

  • Supreme Court nominee John Gorsuch was voted out of the Senate Judiciary Committee on a party-line vote.  Hard to believe that not a single Democrat on the Committee chose to do the right thing and vote to confirm him.  That kind of lock-step behavior is so out of character to those open-minded liberals.  Bwah, hahahahahahahahahahhhhhhh!!!  Man, I’m really cracking myself up here.
  • If you expected the major television networks to properly report the bombshell revelation that Obama National Security Advisor Susan Rice actively ordered the unmasking of members of the Trump campaign and transition team dozens of times since at least last July, think again.  Neither ABC nor NBC dedicated a second to reporting on what, if proven, would be the biggest presidential scandal of the nation’s history, and CBS aired a report in which their fake reporter actually defended Ms. Rice’s actions.  These people are going to play out this farce in coordination with the Democrats to the very last move.
  • In reaction to the Susan Rice story, Senator Rand Paul suggested the Senate Intelligence Committee should subpoena her to testify under oath.  Senator John McCain, who has been feverishly pushing the Democrats’ “Trump/Russia” fantasy at every opportunity, was noticeably silent on the matter.
  • Eleven Russians are dead thanks to what authorities describe as a suicide bombing that took place in the St. Petersburg subway on Monday.  The attacker was a Muslim man who hails from the Muslim nation of Kyrgyzstan.  The fake anchors and fake reporters at CNN will spend the next couple of weeks pretending not to know what the poor man’s motivations might have been.
  • President Donald Trump, as he promised, donated his presidential salary for the first quarter of 2017 to the National Park Service on Monday.  The $78k+ will go to the preservation of historic battlefields.  No word yet if the country’s social justice warriors have figured out a way to classify this act as somehow being “racist”, “sexist” or “homophobic”, but it’s just a matter of time.
  • The fake reporters and editors at the NY Times found no room in their fake newspaper to do a proper report on the Susan Rice matter, but did manage to find space for a 1,000 word instruction for Millenials titled “How to find your missing keys.”  It includes such helpful hints from key-finding “experts” as “don’t look where you don’t need to look,”, “don’t go round in circles,” and the capper of all the cappers, “The most efficient way to find something is not to look where you don’t need to look.”  Now that, my friends, is fake news that fits in the fake newspaper of record.
  • The White House unveiled the first official portrait of First Lady Melania Trump.  The fake news media universally used the occasion as an opportunity to jealously cluck about the size of her 25 karat anniversary ring. *sigh*
  • Today is National Hug a Newsperson Day.  I’m not kidding.  However, it only applies to real, actual, non-fake newspeople, so the pickings are extremely thin.  So if you manage to find such an animal to hug, be sure to share it generously.

Just another day in fake news media America.

That is all.