Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 3.21.2017

  • He obviously believes in the old saying, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of narrow minds.”:  Our bi-polar FBI Director, James Comey, offered testimony yesterday before the House Intelligence Committee.  In his testimony, he offered the following very carefully worded statement:  “With respect to the president’s tweets about alleged wiretapping directed at him by the prior administration, I have no information that supports those tweets.”  That statement, of course, has been reported loud and long by every fake outlet of the fake news media.  But, true to his bi-polar nature, Mr. Comey went on to say that his initial statement does not preclude the possibility that “other surveillance methods” were used against Trump and his staff, both before and after the election.  That statement, of course, has been roundly ignored by pretty much every fake outlet of the fake news media.  Mr. Comey may have bi-polar issues, but the fake news media is purely single-minded.
  • Wait…what?:  The most hilarious part of Mr. Comey’s entire five hours on the stand came when he accused the Russians of attempting to “sow chaos…and instability” in the U.S. electoral process.  Given his own multiple gratuitous interventions into the U.S. election process during 2016, one can only wonder what it is that Mr. Comey sees when he peers into his no-doubt bi-focal bathroom mirror each morning.
  • Another poster child for term limits on display.:  On the other end of Capitol Hill, the confirmation hearing for Judge Neil Gorsuch began before the Senate Judiciary Committee, which includes luminaries like Democrat Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy, who has been on the Committee for so long he actually helped organize the “high tech lynching” of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.  In his opening remarks, Sen. Leahy said “Senate Republicans made a big show last year about respecting the voice of the American people in this process.  Now they’re arguing that the Senate should rubber-stamp their nominees selected by extreme interest groups and nominated by a president who lost the popular vote by nearly 3 million votes.”  Sen. Leahy and his fellow senate Ds were so appalled by Judge Gorsuch’s “extremism” that the unanimously voted to confirm him the U.S. Court of Appeals when he was nominated by President George W. Bush.
  • This is the only possible explanation for their silence on the matter.:  In his own opening statement, Judge Gorsuch remarked that “ours is a judiciary of honest black polyester.”  Perpetually-aggrieved snowflakes everywhere no doubt puzzled over this remark, confused about whether to attack the Judge for being a racist, or a supporter of evil big oil companies, since polyester is derived from petroleum products.
  • Meanwhile, out there in the Twitterverse…:  Social Justice Warriors went crazy on Twitter when KitchenAid introduced a new line of small kitchen appliances that were painted a bright magenta color.  SJWs immediately went on the attack, within minutes coming up with the hashtag “#EverydaySexism” as their moniker for their assault on the manufacturer.  What these perpetually-aggrieved nincompoops failed to notice is that KitchenAid introduced these appliances as their means of raising awareness about breast cancer, and is donating a portion of every sale to Breast Cancer Haven, a non-profit organization in the UK.  D’oh!

Just another day in bi-polar America.

That is all.