Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) – 3.15.2017

  • Honestly, I’m not sure even congressional Republicans can screw this one up.:  Congressional Democrats, after having spent the last 20 years squealing like stuck pigs about what a sacrilege it is whenever the Republicans have caused about 14% of the federal government to be shut down in a budget or debt ceiling fight, are now threatening to fight funding for President Trump’s border wall by …wait for it…wait for it…SHUTTING DOWN THE DAMN GOVERNMENT!  The proper GOP response to this threat is possibly the single biggest no-brainer in the history of the Republic:  Please, go right ahead!
  • Hey, whatever happened that Jill Stein?:   Isn’t she a pistol?  Do you think we could run her down and see if she’d do a recount of the CBO score on the Republican plan to repeal and replace ObamaCare?  Her results would be just as valid.
  • Tired of Winning Yet?  Part I.:  Foreign Policy magazine reports that President Trump has instructed the State Department to find ways to cut U.S. support for the various worthless United Nations programs by 50%.  Naturally, country club Republicans like Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham have already stated they would oppose such cuts.  Note:  If you’re from Kentucky or South Carolina, you need to pay better attention.
  • Tired of Winning Yet?  Part II:  Foreign Policy also reports that Secretary of State Rex Tillerson threatened that the U.S. might well withdraw from the detestable UN Human Rights council unless it enacts “major reforms.”  Awesome.
  • Further, cats and dogs on campus must now be referred to as “lovable furry companions”, and shrubs and trees are now to be called “leafy green shade-givers.”:  Officials at the University of Minnesota announced that the school would be dropping the terms “Homecoming Queen” and “Homecoming King”, and replacing them instead with the gender neutral “Royals”.   Because, well, – let’s be honest here – the officials at the University of Minnesota are a bunch of spineless idiots who are complicit in turning their students’ minds into useless mush.  There, I said it.
  • That’s also why they took up smoking.:  More than 8,000 airline flights destined to or from the northeastern states were cancelled on Tuesday, all because the folks at the National Weather Service (NWS) are incapable of forecasting the weather more than 8 hours in advance.  Making matters worse, NWS officials admitted they actually suspected in advance that snowfalls would not hit the major cities like they had previously thought, but decided to stick with their more alarmist forecasts “out of extreme caution.”  I swear, I SWEAR I don’t make this stuff up.
  • The Twitter-verse went all…ummm…a-twitter yesterday around 7:00 when fake MSNBC host Rachel Maddow Tweeted out that she had obtained “Trump tax returns”, and would reveal them on her program at 8:00.  The big reveal?  It turns out that, in 2005, Mr. Trump paid $38 million in income tax on $150 million in income.  To which most thinking people responded, “man, sure wish I had the chance to to pay $38 million in income tax, just one time.”  After that “big reveal”, the Twitter-verse went all…ummm…a-twitter about how embarrassing it all was for Rachel Maddow.

Just another day in Trump Derangement Syndrome America.

That is all.

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